


Little Children Near And Far, Don't Know Where Your Parents Are...

by Pastache



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-04-03 08:39:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 45,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4094329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pastache/pseuds/Pastache
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mason Verger loves nothing more than the tears of children. If you're a lawyer then he obviously means tears of laughter. He feels very passionately about the pain and suffering of children, and set up a summer camp for Depraved Youth for that very reason. He is very firm on his camp providing the most unique experiences.<br/>Mason takes a special interest in Joshua Roberts, after a chance meeting the night of Joshua's discharge, and is the only boy Mason has ever come across who finds his attention so piercing. When Joshua isn't too tied up with Mason's fun and games he finds himself touched by the older man, and is torn between his meeting of Mason and the cleanse Margot gives him. Both Joshua and Margot feel that Mason was in too deep, and remain worried about his back-stabbing intentions.</p><p>Twelve puns and counting. A three-page one shot that became a monster.<br/>Warnings for Underage Sex, very Dub-Con (that becomes Non-con at one point), physical and emotional abuse, blood, knives, bondage, rough treatment, language, nudity, sex and, homosexuality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This Little Piggy Went to Mason

_Joshua Roberts..._

 

Was a kid most would describe as “unfortunate”. His family’s house was foreclosed when he was twelve and he was put into foster care only a few months after his father, Harvey Roberts, started using drink to escape his feelings on the matter, and then it was the way of the delinquent for Joshua. Most would call that ‘unfortunate’. Not Joshua. Joshua had Miles, and as much as a pain in the ass a little brother was, Joshua would always stand by Miles and protect him; his mother had taught him that much at least... before she buggered off to Monaco with a curator. He’d managed to find Miles a good foster house too, with a few tears in his eyes when he spoke to the administrator they’d taken both brothers on gladly at FreshSide Care Home. Joshua hoped the mixed age group, containing mainly hopeful from-birth foster cases would give Miles a good sense for life, and the place was run by Miss Hawthorne, former preacher, who made sure her kids had _the best opportunities_  so he got out on those shitty outreach programs quite a lot too. However, Joshua refused to let Miles out of his reach at any point, so for all of the bullshit ‘summer camps’ and ‘petting zoos’ and ‘spend a week at a farm’ ( _I mean really, what the fuck is that apart from free labor?_ ) he had to go along too. Which is exactly how he wound up trailing after Miles at a prime example of one of those Shitty Camp Weeks For Deprived Children, based at a damn _meat processing_ plant of all places. Seriously. Who the hell slaughters animals and runs a summer camp at the same place? Creepy.

          They had driven past the plant itself on their way to the bunker up the other end of the Verger Compound, which was situated closer to the huge mansion and occupied by the Verger family, presumably. It had seemed impressive and almost medieval with it’s tall brick walls and turrets, but it also somehow suited the urban décor of the industrial buildings surrounding it. The bunker itself was a large replica of an army bunker with 25 bunk beds sitting 50 children and a disgustingly cheerful paint job, with a smaller, rectangular building for facilities (which actually didn’t smell that bad), just down the gravel track. Around them were a wide selection of lush green fields where sports, fort building and other such group-games or friendly team-competitions could be played, and nearby was a stables area where the children could go and interact with some animals; foals, calves, and a few pigs. It was a nice, open set up and the track to walk the horses was far enough away from the stalls used to house the helmets and saddles, that Joshua had a place to hide in the shadows. Miss Hawthorne had given up trying to get the boy involved in any of the group activities a week after he’d arrived. This had followed an unfortunate incident with fire and archery.

He had spent the day trailing after his brother and hanging at the back of the group (even if he’d wanted to, it was completely sad for a fifteen year old to join in with a petting zoo meant for seven year olds). An hour or so later they’d left the fenced off area housing the small fluffy things, Joshua thinking crude comments on what awaited the animals next, and were now being shown how to ride a horse by an eager-to-please, balding man with sweat-patches and a too-wide smile. Miles was enjoying himself, terrorizing the man and his fellow unfortunates to display his engaging interest in pony-riding.

Joshua leant against one of the wooden columns supporting the stalls, laces untied on the shoes that were the only reminder of his life back home, arms folded, and chewing gum in a way that made him seem cool to some of the younger kids and inexcusably irritating to the staff. He watched from his safe distance of fifty meters or so, glancing up through sharp brown eyes, framed by a self-cut black fringe which looked better than he thought it did. Feeling an itchiness in his fingers he edged around the wooden building and sat in-between the back of it and a flaking green generator as he flicked his lighter. He blamed his under average height on the smoking, a leftover habit from his dad, and his slight build on his late start on puberty; having turned fifteen and still no underarm hair or major voice changes. He rested his head against the rough wood behind him and closed his eyes for a moment as he exhaled, thinking about how much he would rather be on the roof of the care home with a book, and how lucky he was Miles was easily entertained. He shoved his treasured pack of Carlton’s back into his pocket and headed back to the shadows, occasionally pulling out the fourth generation iPod he’d swiped and trying to busy himself, sighing as he did. Flappy bird just wasn’t doing it for him. He glanced up in time to see a man with hair like a mad scientist, admittedly an attractive mad scientist, make his way over to the group of children from the direction of the intimidating mansion, _and what was that, white fur? Jesus._ He shook hands with Miss Hawthorne, and introduced the team of people trailing him: a taller blonde woman, a thick-set man with a buzz cut and a pleasant enough smile, and an older man with curly black hair. Presumably they were the staff here to cater to the kids, Joshua wasn’t close enough to hear what they said. The man with the ridiculous coat looked up and noticed Joshua with a wide grin, waving at him and saying “hello there!” loud enough to be heard. Joshua paid him the courtesy of unfolding one of his arms and waving back, _Oh God don’t let him be one of those who want to ‘help the kids out of their shells’_. Luckily the man seemed to have fulfilled his Christian duty and waltzed off after saying another few words to Miss Hawthorne and lazily petting one of the larger pigs.

 

The day passed quickly enough after that, the white-furred man wasn’t seen again, presumably his public funding was enough to show how much he _cared_ _about the underprivileged youth_. Or maybe he just wanted to _give back_. Joshua couldn’t blame him for his lack of enthusiasm in mingling; he could barely stand Miles, and that was because he had to, the rest of the kids were a nightmare. The opposite of bratty, they were demanding and rude because they felt life owed them, and thought they could do whatever they wanted because they had been given a hard lot in life. _Well_ , thought Joshua, those kids would learn soon enough, as he had from his father; _life’s a bitch and then you die_. No prizes for getting a shit draw in the life lottery, just worms.

 

The dinner they were served later that evening wasn't half bad, upon reflection, though the slaughtered pig on a spit at the head of the aggressively yellow dining room was a little bit too much belligerent philanthropy for Joshua’s tastes, and seemed slightly foreboding in a way, especially considering the earlier interaction with its little brothers and sisters. Still, it tasted a lot better than the dry food pyramid he was served back at The House and he even managed to get the apple from the pig’s mouth in a brief food fight which, as the eldest, he had to win to secure his dominance and respect amongst the more unruly kids.

          Joshua had insisted his bunk buddy being Miles, to squeaky vocal protests which he silenced with the surrender of the top bunk. Once the assigned associate had come and explained to them where the fire exits were and what to do if they needed anything he left them without adult supervision, (the staff had separate, but not distant, quarters) and Joshua couldn't be bothered to keep the little shits to keep in line. The change in location didn’t affect the younger kids’ behavior or attitude, partially because they were so used to new places it hardly felt like a freedom, and partly because they were all on the road to hooliganism anyway. Even Miles was getting quite lippy for a nine year old, but Joshua suspected he appreciated his brothers’ close eye more than he’d let on. It certainly stopped the bigger nine year olds picking on him... At any rate Joshua was more than used to the giggling and general naughtiness that was as per back in the dormitories at the care home, and he was old enough and respected just enough to be left out of it, so he dropped off to sleep counting the amount of days/hours/minutes/seconds he had to be at this camp before he could get back to the stack of books he’d left unread at the House…

 

\-----------------

 

There was a shadowed, hazy light and a vague figure and the most intense feeling, which grew stronger as Joshua reached out, so much so that it almost grew uncomfortable. His legs felt like jelly, his stomach was filling with this feeling, and as he reached out further a wave of that same sensation grew enough to wake him up with a series of hitched breaths and the sour taste of sleep in his mouth. What was that? He felt a stickiness against his thighs. _Oh no. Please not here_. He lifted the sheets and saw a ruined pair of underwear and a stain on the sheets that would be obvious to everyone older than twelve. _What the fuck_ , his dream hadn’t exactly been sexy... or had it? He couldn’t remember it anymore. He took some time to stand up from the bed and bunch the sheets up, covering his crotch with them, _were these beds designed to be as noisy as possible_? He sighed and chewed his lip as he considered his options. He would have to find a way to clean the sheets, the underwear could sit at the bottom of his bag until they got back to the House. Now to maneuver himself to the shower block- and if he woke someone up… he had spilt something while he was staying up late and being up to no good, people would understand that.

          In his first ever walk of shame he scampered across the road in the moonlit darkness, barefoot, to the familiar scent all hygiene facilities at camps seem to share, and after a quick swirl with mouthwash he’d hidden to stop the other kids giving him cold sores he felt much better. He stripped the sheet, thankfully his shame hadn’t leaked onto the duvet itself, and hoped from one foot to the other as he tried to get the worst of the sticky patch under the tap. He hadn’t noticed the light on in top tower of the huge mansion above him, and had gave up nervously checking over his shoulder as he began to scrub the thin duvet with some unfortunate kid’s toothbrush- who probably deserved it anyway....

          A hand flicked the light on, “Well, well, well....”

          _Shit shit shit._ Joshua dropped the toothbrush, spun around and covered his lower half with the sheet-less duvet, blinking in the sudden light and squinting at the tall figure in front.

          “What’s going on here?” came the query. Joshua recognized the silhouette and swore under his breath. It _would be_ the owner of the place, wouldn’t it. Goddammit. 

          “Have a little _accident_?” Mr. Verger’s voice was aiming for comforting, and managed to come off as mocking. Joshua’s throat felt surprisingly dry.

          “No, I just, um,” mind blank, shit. He let his eyes wander to the top corner of the room where a spider was spinning slowly. “I spilt a drink, I’m just cleaning it off, I think it’ll come right out, it hasn’t stained or anything, Sir, don’t worry…” why wasn’t the other guy talking. He was just staring, creepily, at him with a slightly cocked head and smile on his face. Joshua folded his arm across his chest and twitched his shoulders in a small shrug.

          “What’s _your_ name?” Mr. Verger said with a smile you might address to someone half his age.

          “Joshua, Sir. Um, Joshua Roberts.” He shifted the weight on his feet and tried to get as much duvet between him and Mr Verger as he could. No longer was Verger adorned in white fluffy coat, but had stripped down to an off-white waistcoat, sleeves rolled up and top button undone. Not that Joshua was looking or anything.

          “So what _really_ happened to the sheets, Joshua? … I can’t help you with the _mess_ if you don’t tell me how it _happened_.” He spoke languidly and yet as if he was thoughtfully tasting each word as he said it, the know-it-all smile on his face growing wider.

          Shit. Do not go red Joshua, just…. well it’s better than the truth. “Uh yeah no I sorta had an _accident_ , I’m just totally embarrassed that’s all, had too much sprite before bed, aha.” Verger’s eyebrow arched slightly and he glanced over Joshua, _I don’t believe you_ written across his face. “Ever since I got put into care this started happening… guess my dad beating me kind of traumatized me…” He’d misjudged Verger- there was no sympathy or shock or embarrassment on his face. Joshua clutched the sheets to himself tighter, hiding his shame and feeling somewhat caught. When their eyes met Joshua had the hideous notion that he had given himself away, as a much more malicious smile spread over Verger’s face.

          “Well I _suppose_ we better deal with those sheets, hadn’t we? Come along, Joshua, You’ll need get them cleaned _properly_.” He let a moment pass and beckoned Joshua to follow him as he turned away.

          Joshua had the distinct impression he should not follow this man, or at least get some trousers before he did. But there was something expectant and demanding in Mr Verger’s eyes that made him shut his mouth and follow him out, having to hop once again to stop his feet freezing on the surprisingly long walk up to the big mansion. At least it was dry. The cold breeze was drying the wet patch on his underwear which was making things very chilly for Joshua, he chewed his lip. _W_ _asn’t there a washing machine in the staff block he could use?_ This was a bad, bad idea.

          “It’s really good of you to do this,” Joshua said nervously, wincing as a bit of gravel bit his heel and he shook it off before he trooped up the marble steps and inside the huge white building’s fancy entrance hall. As he stepped over the doorway the thought _no turning back now_ entered his head. He swallowed. “Thank you, Mr. Verger.”

          “ _Mason_ , please.” A thoughtful silence. “No, _Mr. Verger_ is my papa.” A chuckle and another smile which made Joshua feel slightly queasy and he nodded nervously, mumbled ‘Mason’ and padded along the floor, the two sets of steps making an echoic sound in the dark emptiness of the house. He was walked past something that seemed to be a large laundry room, judging by the smell and unmistakable noise coming from it and before Joshua could even mouth the beginning of a protest he was lead silently up more marble stairs, with one finger curled over Mr- _Mason_ ’s shoulder to beckon him forward. The stairs were spiraled this time, towards the very top of the building, every step raising a hair on the back of Joshua’s neck. When they finally reached the top floor, still in silence, there was a small room at the end of a turquoise and beige corridor, and inside it a small bathroom with a sleek silver washing machine, a toilet and even a small shower opposite it, (small by the size of the rest of the house’s standard; Joshua would probably wash every day if he could do it in something like that).    

          “I keep a small washroom on every floor, _surprisingly_ this family _tends_ to make quite a lot of… messes.” The slow way he spoke and the small laugh afterwards made every word sound more sinister than it needed to. There was a pause for a moment before Joshua decided to put the duvet in the washing machine himself, keeping his hands in front of the now stiffly dry patch which was starting to itch.

          “Thank you, Mason, um, I appreciate you doing this, I know you probably don’t get involved with the kids much so this is, uh, really cool, thank you.” He gave a polite smile and hoped he’d be let back to his bed, trying not to wonder why Mason had been out by the children’s bunker anyway… he’d probably just gone on a late night walk, eccentric billionaires tended to do that. But then why bring Joshua all the way up here if there was a bathroom on every floor?

          “Well, better wash what you’re _wearing_ too, your underwear _looks_ like it needs a clean.” As he turned red Joshua found himself likening the slow, careful way Mason spoke with rolling marbles around in one’s mouth.

          He blinked at Mason and shifted his feet slightly. “Uh…”

          “There’s a lost property box around here _somewhere_ , I’m sure I can find something else for you to wear… unless you’d rather walk back to you bunker _exposed_?” Mason’s never-ending amusement was terrifying- if Joshua saw _that_ smile on an animal, it’d be just before he was eaten.

          Joshua licked his lips, glanced at the unflinching gaze of Mason Verger and meekly stepped out of his underwear, eyes on the floor, quickly covering himself as he threw his grey underwear in the machine. He figured his lie about the cause of the stain had been figured out from the moment he'd said it. And now he was naked in a claustrophobic room with some older dude, and this was _such_ a bad idea; he’d heard about the rich creeps that were public child-saviours so they could fiddle with them behind the scenes, and was damned if he was going to be one of that statistic. He kept his eyes firmly on the floor.

          “I think I better be going, sir.” He grit his teeth. “Could you perhaps show me where the lost property box is?”

          Mason reached out and with two fingers raised the boy’s chin, Joshua met the butcher blue eyes and _Jesus_ that look was making him all sorts of squirmy. If it was possible to be turned on ( _only slightly_ ) and terrified at the same time then he was. Joshua may have been a bit of masochist, but he blamed that on two years at boarding school.

          “Well, now. Look. At. That. _Blush_.” Mason enjoyed the sentence, his fingers traced the scarlet cheeks before returning to a fairly firm grip on the now fidgeting boy’s neck.

           “You _like_ this game, don’t you, Joshua?” He began to encroach on the younger one’s personal space. _Curious. Never found one that **liked it** before. _ Pubescent hormones and awkward experimentation aside, children didn’t like control to be exerted over them, and abused and neglected children certainly didn’t _like_ to be exposed. That was what made it fun. Mason glanced over his new play piece. Older than his usual, but he was small and fairly pre-pubescent; there was no hair on his torso and his voice was still squeaking rather than growling… Mason thought back to watching the children earlier. This one had been shadowing one of the other children, undoubtedly a younger brother; a _father complex_ , then. Fascinating. With a sharp movement Mason grabbed the boy’s shoulders and spun him around so he had Joshua’s back pressed against his chest, an arm around his waist and around his shoulders, _let’s see if this little **show** is all surface._

          Joshua stood like a deer in the headlights, feeling the buttons of Mason’s waistcoat along his spine, confliction written across his features, and Mason found the hidden excitement in the air of Joshua's fear utterly delicious.

          “Sir-… Mason, I uh, think I should be going now, I mean-” Joshua gripped fiercely to the lets-pretend of reality, he was feeling a heat spread in his stomach, and this was not ok, not by any stretch of his own perversions, but it sorta felt dirty and- _Oh God no_ that was not happening. “Thank you for helping me with the duvet but I have to be up early tomorrow-”

          “Ah, the _sheets_ , yes….” He turned Joshua’s head left so he could speak directly into his ear, squeezing the hand on his neck to quiet him. “Do you need me to give you a _reason_ to stay, _right,_ here? Will that make your little sense of… _morality_ feel better?” The man scoffed.

          Every word against Joshua’s ear sent a small shiver down his spine. He could feel warm breath on his neck and smell Mason's cologne; expensive and enticing. Joshua had his hands busy protecting his modesty, and he could feel the accumulating shivers starting to have an effect… His cheeks feel hotter and hotter. He hadn’t exactly seen Mason as unattractive to begin with and the intonation to his voice and  _everything_ was making him hot under his non-existent collar. If he was getting turned on then was it ok? Could he let… anything happen? _No_ , Joshua thought firmly, Mason was taking advantage of him. He’d been silent for a beat too long.

          Joshua felt a tighter squeeze on his neck. “That was a _question_ , Joshua. I’d like you to answer it.”

          Well it was too late not to play the game. “Your _question_ is irrelevant. You were just trying to draw attention to my compromised position so I’d feel more embarrassed.” _You don't care what I need_ was the bit he didn’t quite have the nerve to add, because he knew it was true. He could _feel_ Mason’s sharp blue eyes piercing into him and resisted the urge to ball his fists.

          “Very good, Joshua, very _clever_ …. You like being _clever_ don’t you?” The hand on his neck loosened its grip slightly, tone brimming with confidence and superiority. “But for all of that _smart mouth_ , you’re rather eager for me to _put_ _you_ in your place,” the hand started to make its way down to where Joshua’s hands were clasped. “Am I right?”

          A small choking sound from Joshua and if he tried to arch away from the touch he wound up pressing against Mason and his- ah. That was not a banana. _Jesus_. This is a fucked up situation and a half and _you like it you sick fuck_ … _just try to delay that hand a bit_ , this was all going far too fast. Joshua pressed his hands against his skin even harder, bent his knees inwards slightly and looked around the rest of the room; why did he have to be naked, _fuck_. “You’re… um, I mean, your hand… you’re…” Words were not coming to his lips.

          Mason was fascinated. This certainly wasn’t the usual struggling and angry confusion he was used to, but that could come later. This was _different_ and this was _fun_. He could tamper with this one more; he was much more willing to play the game. Mason noticed the way Joshua’s body (and probably not just his body) had stiffened when he’d gotten in his personal space, and pegged him as a neck-person. So this time he bent and spoke into Joshua’s neck, teasing the skin with his lips and he could _feel_ Joshua’s heart stop for a moment and his breath hitch. “Ooh Joshua, I believe you’re _lying_ to yourself, and not only to yourself, but to _me, too_. That’s not fair, _is it_ , Joshua? What do you _really_ think? I’m curious.”

Joshua felt the mouth on his neck. A twitch between his hands. Oh _fuck_ it _._ “I like it.” He breathed, barely daring to put any volume into his statement. He had to get some little bit of control, anything, he doubted Mason would listen if he refused to consent so… on his own terms, right?” “But uh if _anything_ is gonna happen… d’you maybe have a couch or something?” At last the hand retreated, and just in time too. A hum of amusement and a chuckle; Mason was never quiet, Joshua noticed, and breathed a momentary sigh of relief; wondering with no small amount of nervousness what he was consenting to.

         

Mason had been surprised Joshua hadn’t put up any fuss when he was brought into a strangers house, even more so from the reaction to the mere suggestion of Mason’s interest; he’d been prepared to use the brother as blackmail. But that wouldn’t have guaranteed him any more fun than he was usually capable of, with children’s weak endurance. He had always had to make do with the dry smell of the stables, or the cold behind the stalls, or on some very few occasions the echoic bathroom block, (not even his _best_ lawyer could get him off a charge if a social worker caught him… not again anyway), he’d certainly never gotten one as _far_ as to get them to his mansion, and he’d never gotten more than sucked off; candy bars could only get you so far… but _this one_ … it’d been a while since he’d properly bedded someone, and if he wanted to make things _fun_ he’d need to have somewhere to secure him… The bed really was the best option. It was hardly difficult to maneuver the boy; a firm arm over his shoulder as he hesitantly stepped next to him, Joshua laughably still protecting his vanity, and Mason shoved him inside the first door on the right. He shut the door behind them; _don’t want to wake Margot_ , left the boy close to the center of the room and started removing his shoes and socks, then leant against the door as he watched the boy twitch. His dark brown eyes were wide, and very expressive; the anticipation was all part of the fun, now Mason had found something _worth_ playing with. Maybe this one knew a thing or two about pain already; daddy had already taught him how it could be used to enhance pleasure, or maybe he was just used to being the bigger brother and sought relief from that role elsewhere... _Fascinating_.

          Joshua watched with thinly veiled arousal. _This was it._ It was happening, whatever _it_ was. And he wanted it too, in a weird way. He could have kicked and struggled and screamed and forced Mason to hold him down in the bathroom, but instead he found himself willing, if slightly embarrassed, in the owner of _Verger Meat Packing’s_ own damn bedroom. It was a nice bedroom, open and, ironically white. It smelt of the same expensive product on Mason, combined with a slightly musty smell; the age of the house maybe. The bed seemed to be the focus of the room, or maybe that observation was Mason’s effect on Joshua; it was a big bed which looked obviously luxurious with it’s dark blue sheets. Joshua wondered who Mason’s maid was. It was too dark to see anything of real detail, Joshua in one glance saw the shadow of a desk, a rectangular bookcase, a large window in the center of the wall, and the shape of a fireplace, unlit. _Classy_. Mason walked forward, a stream of moonlight through the large window lighting the white toothed smirk and keen interest in his blue eyes and suddenly Joshua _wanted_. He wanted Mason’s hands on him, he wanted his mouth on him and he _needed to stop_ thinking along those lines because it was getting hard to cover himself. Pun not intended.

          There had been a clear atmosphere change, the veil of pretense discarded. Mason marched towards the boy, grabbing his wrists with no sense of mercy and holding them at chest height to walk him backwards. _At least it’s dark_ Joshua thought before his calves felt padded wood and he was backed against the bed. _Fine._ Joshua let himself fall, pulling Mason with him by his expensive waistcoat lapels, and pulled the man on top of him. Mason moved one knee to put his weight on the sheets next to him and at last, _contact_. Joshua found his eyebrow arched, eyes closed; Mason was a surprisingly good kisser, and eager, though he immediately took control, fist in the boy’s hair and the other holding the side of his face with a more firm grip than would be considered romantic. There seemed to be a frantic atmosphere in the room and Joshua had a handful of all he could get his hands on; starting by grabbing Mason's shoulders and feeling the costly material of the shirt where it joined his waistcoat he then ran his hands through Mason’s hair, which was fantastic, Mason’s face and the slight roughness of his cheeks, his neck and over his clothes was the best thing Joshua had felt, perhaps ever. The small voice telling him to run had dwindled and he might not have known what exactly he wanted from Mason, but he knew he wanted _him_.

 

Joshua’s energy was fantastic, Mason could feel the _want_ coming off him in waves, and Mason was not a man used to being wanted so badly. Not for these purposes anyway; he preferred inflicting pain to inflicting pleasure- but the greater _the peak_ the greater _the fall_.

          “Mason-” Joshua mumbled when he had been forced to stop Mason’s assault on his mouth to breathe, his elbows resting either side of Joshua’s chest as Mason started to kiss along Joshua’s jaw, which was _very_ distracting. “D’you, uh, have a beside lamp or something?” He heard the smugness saturated in the chuckled response,

          “Are you _scared_ of the dark, Joshua?”

          “No, I just… want to see this.” He could hear the hesitation in his own voice and comforted himself fiddling with Mason’s collar and neck, his thumb resting on the firm adams apple, which bobbed as Mason swallowed- he really was incredibly attractive. Mason obliged; Joshua wasn’t the only voyeur in the room. The light hit Mason from the right, making his sharp blue eyes even more piercing in the half-shadow across his face, and for a moment before Joshua blinked his hair seemed to be surrounded by a halo. The light also meant he could grab at Mason’s clothes without worrying about awkward ripping or misplaced hands, Joshua looked up into the illuminated face and noted it was also lit with amusement and a barely restrained hunger. Joshua paused. Yep. Mason still had his glasses on; he hadn’t taken them off when he’d fumbled for the light switch. 

          “Isn’t it a little weird you’re still fully clothed, Mason?” Joshua was feeling brave, it seemed. He blamed Mason’s touch; the hand on his neck and the other running roughly through his hair felt electric, he felt energized, and judging from what was emitting heat against his thigh, so did Mason.

          “If you want something, I suggest you come and get it, I’m rather used to being catered to,” spoken to the joint between jaw and neck. The words _spoilt brat_ sprung to Joshua’s mind, amongst other more explicit things and he hastily undid the shiny buttons of the waistcoat and shirt, smoothing the firm material back off Mason’s shoulders while his mouth worked on his neck, tasting some expensive scented thing. He revealed a smooth, pale and slightly lean torso, which Joshua didn’t shy away from running his hands along, kissing and mouthing his teeth over collarbones and working his way down. Mason allowed this for a moment, enjoying the boy’s enthusiasm before he pushed him back down onto the bed and held his arms above his head, Joshua arching up eagerly for more contact. Instead, Mason held him just out of reach and relished the moment of irritation that flashed across his eyes, and the re-surfacing alarm hiding just behind it.

          “Are you a virgin, Joshua?” That sadistic smirk was back and there were teeth in his grin. Joshua almost rolled his eyes. Almost.

          “Yeah- I’m fifteen.” So maybe Mason had just assumed he looked young for his age, maybe this was all a misunderstanding, would he stop now? Joshua very quietly hoped not. Mason’s laugh popped Joshua’s fantasy; Mason knew exactly what he was doing. Besides, Joshua did sort of look like a twelve year old when striped, _damn late blooming_.

          Mason had gotten Joshua hot and bothered enough not to panic when he undid his black leather belt, keeping his eyes locked with the dark brown ones so that he had to fumble slightly to undo it without looking, and held Joshua’s hands through the expensive metal-barred bedhead as he reclaimed Joshua’s mouth to coerce and distract him, patiently securing the hands through the bars with a knot that would get tighter if he pulled; _that_ pain was up to Joshua.

          Joshua watched Mason with interest, breathing fast as nervousness clouded his arousal. His left hand twitched as he tried to reach towards Mason, wanting to bring him closer and stop him looking quite so threatening leering above him. Mason sat, saddled on top of Joshua, putting most of the weight on his own thighs so as not to crush the boy beneath him; that would be no fun, after all. Joshua blinked up at him expectantly and squirmed slightly when Mason’s gaze dipped where Joshua couldn’t hide anymore. Mason took the liberty of pushing Joshua’s thighs apart so he could feel the heat of his hands there.

          “I can’t help but notice, you seem _exited_ , Joshua… what is it that you… want?” Mason rolled the sounds off his lips, taking even longer than usual to speak, and it was winding Joshua up very effectively, Mason could see his cheeks had turned pink and his mouth had formed a firm line.

          “I _want_ to see you out of those clothes, and you know it.” Joshua growled. Honestly, if he thought teasing him any more wold have any stronger effect… he shifted his shoulders and rolled his eyes, forgetting to feel embarrassed for a moment or two.

          “Ah ah” Mason reclaimed his grip on the boy’s neck and the wiggling stopped. “You can do _better_ than that.” He laughed and re-affirmed eye contact with the boy underneath him. “ _Entice_ me.” The piercing blue eyes matched the hunger in the _smirk_ , no, the _challenge_ Mason offered. _Game on,_ Joshua thought; he had never shied from a challenge in his life.

          “I want you to release my hands so I can put them all over you, I want your mouth on mine, you can bite me, I don’t care, I _like it_.” Joshua felt confident, even though he knew Mason was building him up. He figured humiliation would be part of this game somewhere, but he was pretty fucked up himself, he could handle it, and he found that sort of thing hot, anyway. At least it had been hot when he watched it online. He’d liked how they spoken online, too. “I _want_ you to be rough with me. I can handle it, I’d say I’m almost as fucked up as you are.” Now that was bravery, but hopefully it would pay off, even the smell of the surprisingly fruity… _white fur coat_ … not so surprisingly fruity cologne was turning him on.

          “Very good… very good…” Mason didn’t do any of the things Joshua had asked; he could feel the excitement and pride taking over the body below him. _This one was going to be fun to break_. Mason had rarely had one that struggled like _this_ , playing by a new set of rules, and Mason loved trying new things. Joshua’s false confidence was _begging_ to be proven wrong- Joshua was _begging_ Mason to teach him how much pain he could endure, how much pain he wanted, and how much pain would push him over the edge. Mason would teach him, happily; it was his gift. Papa had taught him well, after all, though Mason doubted the occasional lashings with his belt when he was smaller even than Joshua (before he'd been bred to behave correctly) had had the effect Papa had thought it would have.

           “I’m certainly entranced, Joshua, and if you keep being such a _good boy_ then I’m sure I can, be _rough_ with you.” He started with his trousers, lifting his hips for leverage. He knelt up so Joshua could see and with two fingers, slowly undid the buttoned fly. These grey trousers had cost Mason $2500, he threw them behind him without another thought. He’d always been a messy child and now he was a messy grown up. He was left in $175 crimson underwear (Mason believed you had to dress what was most important to you in the most luxury), and kept his hand on the boy’s neck as he leant down towards him. This time when Mason kissed him he made sure to bite firmly into the boy’s bottom lip, but not hard enough to draw blood, yet.

          Joshua had started panting from the beginning of the strip tease, eyes unashamedly eyeing Mason’s hard-on before he became pre-occupied with Mason’s wandering and horrifically teasing hands, surprisingly neat and soft over his chest. He accepted the bite with a quick gasp and a small moan, tugging at the restraints; wanting to run his nails down Mason’s back. He wanted to mark him, leave him a reminder of the boy with _bite_. Mason would allow none of that and squeezed firmly on the boy’s neck- he soon stopped struggling.

          “Good boy, that’s much better.” Mason laughed suddenly “very _obedient_ aren’t you… you learn quickly.”

          “Eager to please, _Sir_.” It sounded breathy, almost needy, Joshua knew it but he could hardly help it. Mason had that air of spoilt brat to him, something encouraged by his father no doubt, and Joshua figured Mason would appreciate getting his way.

          “Well, we’ll _see_ about that.” He ran his hand down Joshua’s chest, digging his nails in as he went and Joshua arched instinctively. Mason provided a thigh between Joshua’s legs which was gratefully rutted against, and Mason took a moment to enjoy the friction himself with a few sharp thrusts. He bit the free side of the boy’s neck as he almost throttled him and felt the vibrations as he moaned again. Mason’s hand traveled down, and here was the first pricks of doubt- Joshua wiggled his hips away but Mason pushed down firmly and chuckled. “Ah ah ah, bit late for cold feet, don’t you think? …Besides you’ve been _humping_ against my leg so _nicely_ I thought it was about time we… _moved things along_.”

          _Oh Jeez_. Joshua took half a breath and put his focus into Mason’s eyes, trying to find that deliciously carnivorous look. He didn’t have to look hard, and he already was in Mason’s hand. This was something… different. He’d fooled around with a few boys before and they’d _experimented_ with improvised bondage but never with this much purpose- or for lack of a better word, aggression. Maybe there wasn’t a better word. Joshua didn’t have control here, he had known that from the start, but this was something else; _this_ was going to go as far as Mason wanted and it wasn’t going to stop because Joshua _wasn’t ready_ and- how was he still hard, _Damnit_. Then again, Mason might get nasty if he wasn’t, though Joshua had a sneaking suspicion he was going to see that side of Mason anyway. There was… almost a rage hidden in the depths of Mason’s eyes and his every movement mingled with that and a sickening curiosity. Joshua had now been staring at Mason for quite some time, and he’d barely made a sound despite his _stimulation_ , perhaps he was trying to distract himself?

          _And we can’t be having that_. A reasonably firm slap got Joshua’s attention.

          “ _Wakey wakey_ there Joshua, don’t let me catch you napping.” He warned with a worryingly playful tone. Joshua blinked and rotated his jaw. Slapping was not something he was accustomed to, not even from his father. Mason’s returned to his hand movements and after a few moments the spikes of nervousness settled over Joshua’s spine he could relax into the movement, he even found himself drawing shorter breaths as Mason quickened his pace with his other hand in Joshua’s hair, holding him to the pillow. The light from bedside table cast eerie shadows, making the already unsettling look on Mason’s face that much worse, Joshua felt as though he was about to be eaten alive (not all of him minded) and when Mason bent down for some of the most competitive making out Joshua would ever be a part of he could taste a small tang of blood when Mason bit his lip hard enough. Mason’s mouth tasted like the lingering burn of whiskey, _it must have been good whiskey to keep its sting_ and Joshua was struck by the image of Mason sitting by the fireside drinking from an impeccable crystal glass as he thought over whatever he thought about in the evenings.

         

All of a sudden Mason seemed bored; he had no more patience for build-up; his pig was saturated, now it was time to learn how pork chops were made. “You’re going to stay very still, Joshua, until I tell you to move… understood?” Joshua nodded, eyes darkening, _so he liked orders then_. Reaching up, Mason undid the boy’s hands and Joshua obediently didn’t move.

          “Roll over.” Mason smiled in a not very nice way; he wasn’t playing. Joshua blinked and then complied before Mason could slap him again and he found his hands re-secured, a little tighter this time. With ease, Mason lifted Joshua’s knees up so he was left feeling very embarrassed with his ass in the air. Joshua dared a look between his legs which must have looked absurd, and certainly felt ridiculous.

          “Um-”

          Mason’s burst of laughter turned into a series of small chuckles “ _Embarrassed_ , Joshua? … _Oh no_ , I wouldn’t want _that_.” He had to take a moment to compose himself, and Joshua buried his rather red face in the pillow in front, enjoying the smell of Mason all over it and figuring trying to move was a bad idea. He heard the ridiculous popping sound of Mason’s finger leaving his mouth.

          Mason took a moment to admire the image in front of him; Joshua spread out before him, willing but alert, like a pig before slaughter, and savored the anticipation of what was to come. Joshua’s head snapped up as one of Mason’s fingers pushed inside of him. _Well then. That was different_. A fresh wave of heat went to his cheeks as he found himself pushing back against the finger as it moved back and forth to relax and give Joshua the bare preparation, _what am I turning into_?

          “Oh, we like that do we?” The amusement was ever more obvious with each word that skipped out of Mason’s mouth. A pause. He wanted an answer.

          Joshua bit his lip and nodded. “Yeah.” He mumbled.

          “Sorry, _what_ was that? … Joshua?” He twisted his finger and Joshua let out a small keening noise.

          “Yeah, I like it.” He said more firmly. The finger left him, and he heard Mason _spit_. That was pretty gross but the dirtiness of it kept Joshua interested. Then there were some less-than hot slicking sounds from behind him but Joshua couldn’t twist his head quite far around enough in time to see, as and a hand firmly twisted his head frontwards.

          “Ah ah, eyes front, soldier. This is a _surprise_.”

 _Hardly_ , thought Joshua; I’ve seen what happens next. He had expected Mason to be a lot rougher with his fingers than he had been, though he could tell he was biding his time- he wasn’t a complete idiot. Mason considered asking if Joshua was _sure he wanted to do this_ in a tone that would advise him he didn’t. Better not, it’ll be funnier if he’s not expecting the shock. Besides, Joshua would figure it out in his own time.

          And Mason was right, Joshua was expecting a few more fingers and maybe some actual lube. He wasn’t expecting the sudden grip on his hips by Mason’s hands, and before he could so much as look round or ask about protection the worst pain he’d ever felt ripped up through him and he couldn’t help but cry out. Mason was pushing as far and fast into him as he could into him and the virginity, friction and lack of preparation was absolutely awful. _Hurts like buggery_ was an understatement.

          In fact it hurt so bad, Joshua gripped the bars beside his hands, fast becoming slick with sweat, and tried to pull away, to get even one centimeter of breathing room but Mason had been counting his struggles and dug his manicured nails into Joshua’s sides enough to bleed to keep him still. Joshua let out a few more whines of pain and pushed his head into the pillow to hide the tears brimming in his eyes, whimpering as softly as he could and hoping Mason wouldn’t notice, not daring to imagine what would have happened had he not complied thus far.

          Mason arched an eyebrow, he hadn’t even started going at the boy yet, he'd barely pushed in. He tilted his head, starting to flex his hips and enjoyed the muffled sounds of pain emanating from the pillow. _Muffled_? That wouldn’t do.

          “Come on Joshua, I don’t want to lose your _company_ , just yet.” He yanked the boy’s head up and could see a small number of tears that had rolled half way down his cheek. Using his hair as an anchor he started to thrust deeper into him, Joshua bit his lip raw to keep from letting out anything more than a whimper. After a particularly vicious hip movement Joshua’s elbows buckled under him and he couldn’t hold back any more,

          “No- Mason- stop-” He gulped, knowing that this was exactly what Mason wanted but desperately hoped it would stop anyway, he didn’t care about the nails at his hips; he just wanted to get away from the pain from behind. He could feel himself _tearing_ inside and the pain was making his knees weak. Mason took a moment to stroke Joshua’s hair, still thrusting away.

          “Joshua, Joshua, Joshua, you knew this was coming… You _wanted_ this… don’t you give up yet, Joshua… you can do better than that….” A low groan from below, the voice belonging to it shaking as it did. “And if it’s _that bad_ and you decide to go to faint on me, you’ll wake up in the _shower cubicle_ dowsed in freezing water and we _will_ _begin again_ …” Mason’s voice filled Joshua’s head and he was right, Joshua knew he was right, there was a sick part of him that wanted this, there had to be; he was still sporting a raging hard on, and Mason’s voice was kind of turning him on. If it wasn’t for the relentless pounding managing to travel up his back and even to his shoulders he would probably be a writhing mess of pleasure. Not what Mason wanted. He wanted him crying and screaming and struggling to the end, he probably got off on that more than anything else.

          Joshua kept his mind busy, trying to escape from the pain- if not physically then in his head. He felt a sharper sting on his left butt cheek, did Mason just slap his ass? If it wasn’t smarting he’d probably have laughed, instead he grunted.

          “Don’t fade out yet, Joshua, we’re just getting _started_.” Mason chucked and nudged Joshua’s legs further open with his knee, hooking his foot over the inside of Joshua’s leg to bring his hips flush to Joshua’s backside and Joshua couldn’t bite back the small scream that rose in his throat.

          “Fuck you! You mother-” another groan.

          “ _Manners_ , Joshua” Mason yanked his head back sharply to the sound of a small yelp. “There’s no need to have such a _rough_ mouth… if you’re going to talk dirty, do it properly.” _Now this was fun_.

          Joshua held out as long as he could, Mason certainly wasn’t holding back and each roll of his hips seemed more punishing than the last. His shoulders were starting to cramp from pulling at the restraints, if he could just have some other point of contact he could distance himself from this, he could make this feel _good_ … or if not good at least _bearable_. Letting out another whine he tried to make his mouth form a word which wilted and came out sounding more pathetic than his compromised position.

          “ _Please_ ,”

          Mason laughed loudly and didn’t slow his movements, trailing his hand, nails included, down Joshua’s back and beginning his lecture, “Your problem is, Joshua-”

          “That I assume pain and pleasure are mutually exclusive?” Joshua said through gritted teeth.

          Usually Mason would have made an example of not allowing him to interrupt but this was better than he’d been expecting. “ _Very_ good.”

          “I know the basics.” Joshua grunted. “I wasn’t asking you to stop. Just… Please… you can do whatever you want but …” reddening, again “Be... _closer_. I want, to, um, be touching… more of you...”

          Mason cocked his head and his amusement stayed silent on his lips. So _that’s_ what this is about. _Father complex_ …. He let out a low chuckle and slowly brought his chest flush to the boy’s back, feeling relief ripple through him as he kissed up Joshua’s spine to his neck and cheek, gently, pausing to whisper in his ear,

          “Why do you think I _care_ what you want? You’re smarter than that, Joshua.” He raked his nails up Joshua’s sides and pushed down on his shoulders enough to force his head into the pillow before pushing back into him, moving his hips faster than before. Joshua clung to the bedhead and cursed himself for being so stupid as to let this happen. He focused on trying to blot out of the pain, letting out a noise whenever Mason’s nails dug too deep into his hips.

 

This was _interesting_ , but it wasn’t quite _fun_ , yet. Joshua had just about given up, but he wasn’t _broken_ yet. The kid would assimilate all of this into his memories, yes it would fuck him up, but he’d enjoy that. Or he’d learn to. No, Mason was going to need a bit more than a few bad memories to get off. A flash of inspiration hit- Joshua needed a _reminder_. Something he couldn’t get used to; not something he’d see every day, but a lasting _impression_ of their time together. His hand reached for the jacket Mason had haphazardly discarded beside the bed earlier, and in the pocket, _ah yes_ as always. Joshua had gone still; he’d picked up that a sudden lull in movement wasn’t necessarily a good thing. Mason leant over and smoothed back the rough fringe of Joshua’s hair from his face, talking mainly into his neck but making sure his tone was getting his message across.

          “I’d hate for you to _forget_ this, Joshua, I have to admit this is a first for me… I want to make this _special_.” The knife came into Joshua’s line of sight as Mason pressed his arm around his throat and the real struggling started as panic set in, his voice raising to a shout for help, jerking his arms uselessly. Mason used his free hand to cover his mouth.

          “Shh shh shh, Joshua…. There’s nothing to worry about. I’m not _finished_ with you yet, don’t worry.” Every bite of laughter was getting a flinch from the fiercely fighting, or more accurately _flopping_ , body beneath him.

          “’M nt gnna frgt! Prmis! Msn!” Joshua managed to scream through Mason’s hand.

          “Good boy. Now. _Stop wiggling_... I mean it; stop. …That’s better. Now, _this_ \- struggle once more and I will put it to good use… _Thank you_ … Now _this_ is my papa’s knife. He showed me how to use it properly, so don’t worry you’re in _safe hands_.” He had to take a moment to swallow another bout of laughter. “I just want to, _show_ something… to you.” Another kiss on the cheek and he got Joshua back onto all fours and eyed the spots of blood on his spotless sheets between the boy’s knees. _Tsk_.

          Joshua felt every muscle in his body tense, he was starting to sweat from fear alone. It was the waiting that killed him, as image upon horrible image piled into his head, his body was trying to anticipate and counter any possible move and _why did I think this was a good idea_ he wanted to scream at himself. He bent his head and bit into the inside of his arm, trying to control his panicked breathing. He was throbbing from the waist down, and not in a good way. At least Mason had the courtesy to push in slowly this time, though what did that mean for what was to come? He could feel Mason’s fingers on his back, tracing up softly as his hips started to pick back up the pace, and for everything Joshua felt an intrusive question about how Mason had so much stamina- _not important Joshua_. He tried desperately to keep his mind off the blade in Mason’s hand and what the fuck he was going to do with it, praying it was all show, to add excitement to the game…

         

The boy had stilled, apart from some involuntary twitching; he seemed to be adjusting, learning to keep control of himself, even able to stand the probably considerable pain he was in. Perfect. He needed to stay still or Mason would mess his work. To be extra sure he tugged on Joshua’s hair.

          “Still with me?” A nervous ‘uh huh’. “ _Good_. Now, here’s what’s going to happen _now_ … You keep still, don’t move a _muscle_ , and I, _promise_ the knife won’t cause any mortal damage? How _about_ that?” Apart from the initial cry of protest, quickly silenced be a hard slap on the face Joshua was silent. Mason could always strangle him if he got tiresome- he’d been meaning to look into the extremes of auto-erotic asphyxiation… now those were some _good_ memories.

          _He’s a fucking psychopath_ , Joshua thought to himself as he nodded slowly. _You have found a genuine psychopath and you are in his bed. You have fucked up and you’re in too deep…just get out alive_. _Jesus fucking Christ_.

          “Good boy, Joshua... _Now_ , this may hurt a little.” He couldn’t stop the manic laughter as it exploded from his lips, he wiped his eyes and prepared his work, feeling entirely gleeful. Joshua kept very obediently still, until the knife pierced his back. Mason had to give him a knee to the groin that was none too friendly to help Joshua gain control of himself again. Mason continued, managing to maintain a slow thrust from behind as he hummed an old hymn, operating his knife perfectly. _Crown Him with many crowns, the lamb upon His throne… How the heavenly anthem drowns all music but its own..._ Joshua screamed, his back arched and tensed, but didn’t move and his toes curled. _Awake, my soul, and sing of Him who died for thee…_ When Mason had finished the first two lines Joshua’s head was pressed harder than ever into the pillow and he was letting out wet whimpering noises into it near-continuously, his back felt like it was on fire. A sheen of sweat started to appear, and Mason had to wipe his canvas a few times before he was done, leaning his elbow on the boy’s back helped keep him still and gave him support. He wiped the red mess on his sheets or on Joshua, depending on his concentration level... _And hail Him as thy matchless King through all eternity_ … six lines. Two crosses in place of dots. Two letters: _M.V._ and judging from his _expert_ craftsmanship, a permanent reminder. Perfect. He dabbed his fingers over the leaking mess and sucked experimentally; he had always loved the metallic aftertaste and the way it lasted on the palate. Joshua had gone a funny white colour, Mason hoped he wouldn’t faint; it’d be pain to drag him to the showers to wake him now. The sight of blood was also making him eager to reach the end of his chase. Now here came the mark of true genius- could he get Joshua back from this? Could he show him how the pain could now be used to make his pleasure even more so? He started with gentle hands over Joshua’s exhausted and tense shoulders.

          “You did very well, Joshua, I’m very impressed.” And he wasn’t lying either, he kept his tone soft and hands forgiving as he worked them over Joshua’s trembling body.

          Joshua hadn’t cried. He’d bitten his lip red and bloody but he hadn’t cried. “Just… finish with me, Mason. _Please_.” He spat and Mason frowned.

          “No no no, you can’t be giving _up_ so easily. I thought you were _tougher_ than that, Joshua.” He was just tired, surely, he needed to give him a reason to keep pushing back at him, where was the greedy little look he’d always received whenever Mason so much as blinked at him. Joshua had forgotten the rules of the game, that was all.

          Mason undid the restraint at the top of the bed and discarded it, turning Joshua over, who only winced when set on his back. _Fuck the sheets_ , thought Mason firmly. Joshua brought his arms down to his chest hesitantly.

          “Don’t tell me you’re giving up on the game so easily.” Mason murmured against Joshua’s lips and there was an immediate pull as Joshua could now grab Mason’s head towards him and attack his mouth, all of the anger and humiliation bubbling forth in bitten lips and nails down his back and Mason more than allowed it, _never dish out in the bedroom what you can’t take back_. Not to mean he let Joshua have any sort of control, no no no, he held Joshua’s hair to hold him to the bed as he allowed the attack- Mason’s lips were bitten bloody because he was letting Joshua get them that way. He felt an aggressive grope over his buttocks- _cheeky boy_. Joshua’s hands ended up cupping Mason’s face as he snarled into his mouth, and Mason knew he had him again. Joshua might even get off on the scars by the time the fresh pain had faded.

          “There we go… that’s _much better_ … good boy.” Mason managed to somehow speak in-between being bitten and biting back. His hand wandered downwards again but this time Joshua’s tensing features didn’t calm after a few seconds, Joshua’s kisses became more pronounced and was he _avoiding_ Mason’s eye contact. _Now_? “What _is_ the matter with you… aren’t you _enjoying_ yourself?” He cocked his head and Joshua immediately pulled to get him close again. Mason resisted and arched an eyebrow.

          “ _Performance anxiety_? Really?”

          Joshua shrugged “No one’s ever made me… you know… before.”

          “You’ve never cum before?” Mason looked half incredulous and half delighted.

          “ _Of course_ I have.” Joshua forgot who he was talking to for a moment. “I said 'no one else has'.” He folded his arms huffily and looked at Mason. Re-logged where he was and what he was doing. Registered the pain from his back and his behind. He giggled. Now _this_ was fucked up. He started laughing harder than he thought possible, loud barks of sound, unable to stop himself and knowing if he didn’t let it out he’d end up sobbing. Mason leant up onto the palms of his hands and looked at Joshua, not admitting to being bewildered but slightly worried he’d broken his toy before it was time, before he indulged and joined in with the mania. The sound of his giggle turned the scene from unsettling to demented. Mason silenced quickly though; Joshua was going to exhaust himself if he didn’t cut that out, and a hand on the throat silenced him perfectly.

          “I’m _nothing_ if not gracious in bed. You will cum. For me.” Joshua felt shivers, it felt like years since Mason had first made him feel that. Mason scanned his face. What did Joshua need? This was a puzzle he needed to solve, and he would, he was almost as tenacious as his sister… _Margot_. She refused to admit how she liked rough treatment, but it was always with gentleness she would let you win her over. He kissed at Joshua’s neck, leaving a small love-bite, another more short-term memento, easily hidden with a collar, and kissed down his chest.

          Joshua had an a flashbulb urge to rub his eyes, leaning up on his elbows to get a better view, surely what he thought was about to happen wasn’t actually going to. This was another trick, another game.

          The lower Mason’s head moved, the more of Joshua’s attention he had, with his arms tracing down Joshua’s sides to match his pace, leisurely mapping out the skin under his mouth, tasting sweat and was that Lynx Apollo? He was feeding off the excitement re-kindling in the Joshua’s eyes. Then Mason leered predatorily, ruining the almost normal image, and Joshua noticed that Mason still had his glasses on. That almost set him off laughing again. The air of humor dropped when Mason dropped lower and looked up at him with those blue eyes containing almost convincing innocence and Joshua bucked his hips automatically, gasping at the image of Mason blinking up at him through his messy, dirty-blond locks; it just seemed so… _wrong_. Mason was supposed to be pounding into Joshua with a snarl and a hair tug, not looking up at him coyly with drool pooling in the corner of his mouth as he sucked- Joshua lost coherent thought at that point. Mason had won, that innocence-bullshit technique worked perfectly, and once Joshua could almost trust this not to be a trick, the touch of Mason’s hands holding Joshua’s hips gently for grip and the circles with his tongue was more than erotic. Joshua’s next conscious thought was _Jesus that guy couldn’t do anything quietly could he?_ Hums of amusement, perverted slurping noises and _that look_ had Joshua on edge faster than he’d ever admit- _where_ had he learnt to do that twisty thing with his mouth _\- Jesus_. A heat pooled in his stomach and spread to his thighs, _oh God_ , this was it, should he tell Mason he was about to-

          Mason had noticed, and wasted no time flipping a more than willing Joshua over again and pushing into him with enough force to burn but not enough to shock him away from orgasm, finishing him with his hand as the thrust in time to hand jerks.

          “Fuck-… Mason, _Jesus_.” His fists balled in the sheets and his lips mouthed ‘Mason’ on a sharp inhalation of air as release hit him, he dropped his head and whimpered slightly when he was finished, thighs trembling with the effort. Mason hadn’t stopped, and only slowed to wipe the mess on his hand on Joshua’s face. Joshua hardly noticed but let his breathing rate calm, or tried to; Mason proceeded to jerk him up so he was on his knees and brought Joshua’s back flush to his chest, using his height leverage to thrust into him, hard, a hand over his chin with two fingers fucking his mouth had Joshua gagging slightly but feeling overwhelmed with sensation. Mason’s mouth went to the still trickling marks on Joshua’s back and tongued the wounds- Joshua made a few small noises of pain mingled with a lingering sense of pleasure and Mason came, with a small snarl and something that sounded suspiciously like a giggle, holding Joshua still as he finished with him, rolling to the side and flopping lazily to the bed when he was done, wiping himself on the duvet and stretching his limbs like a satisfied cat.

          “Ok, Joshua, we’re done here.”

          Joshua blinked, feeling a little sheepish, and still a little breathless, and remained kneeling on the bed, sitting back on his heels. “Uh, what?”

          “You _heard_ me, back to camp with you, I’m _done_ here.” He folded his hands behind his head and looked at the ceiling, incredibly bored. Joshua had the strong desire to see him take his glasses off. “Oh, and if you think of getting _chatty_ about this, think about how much you’d like your little brother to keep both his _ears_.” A smile, all teeth, and Joshua could see the façade was back up. Or maybe he had finally let it down. Either way Joshua got the message. He meekly got off the bed and shuffled out the room. He felt a strange hollowness.

 

It was only once the big white door shut behind him he came back to the real world and realized he had no duvet cover and no clothes. He padded back to the bathroom this had all started in numbly and stopped the spin cycle, pulled out his sodden underwear, wringed the worst of the water out and put them on. He felt utterly used. He hadn’t expected anything, certainly not a bed of roses and a wedding proposal, but it was only now he was out of the room he could see how utterly debauched he’d been, how completely he’d been taken apart and for what? For Mason’s amusement- fuck that, _Mr. Verger’s_ amusement, all of the other bullshit had been part of the game. He’d never particularly prized his virginity but having it ripped from him like that with no reason or genuine interest behind it was shattering. Joshua’s vision fogged and it was as he stepped back down the stairs, felt the dried blood on his back and the awful _seeping_ sensation from between his legs the tears started to drip. He wiped his nose on the back of his hand and furiously scrubbed away every tear as he tried to find his way out of the house and back to his safe camp bed. _What if Mason came back for more some other night? What if he hurt Miles?_ Questions and shame started to bombard Joshua and he ended up standing alone in the hallway with his shoulders shaking, unable to move- every inch of him hurting, from the hand-shaped bruises on his neck to the fingernail marks and scratches coating nearly his whole body, to the disgusting stickiness on his face. It was too much. What the hell had he been thinking? He was just a dumb little shit- a stupid plaything that had fallen hook, line, and sinker into Verger’s bed. He thought he was tough because he liked love bites and light bondage? And then he let _that_ happen to him. He encouraged it. _He was pathetic_. His own nails dug into his shoulders as he hugged himself, the hurt only making him feel worse as it didn’t feel like his fingers digging in.

 

He’d been standing like that for two minutes or so when he felt a light touch on his shoulder. He spun around, fists balled, he was going to fucking _kill_ … It was a girl with dark hair and deep eyes, clearly woken by his not so subtle sniveling. Joshua furiously rubbed his face dry.

          “Sorry I woke you.” He growled, throat like sandpaper. “I’m just going, don’t worry about it-”

          “It’s ok. I’m Margot.” She said softly, watching him carefully. “I’m- well, I know Mason very well, I know what he can do. It’s ok. You’re going to be ok.” She traced a hand over Joshua’s shoulder for him to lean into or shake off. Joshua lasted two seconds before he hung his head, lip wobbling, and leant into the comfort.

          “What’s your name?”

          “Joshua Roberts.” He said weakly.

          “Joshua, come with me, I’ll find you some clothes.” Joshua flinched and allowed himself to be led away, he didn’t care if this was another trap, he didn’t care anymore. _Who was this girl, another one of Mason’s victims? Did he keep them scattered about the house like toys?_ He was brought to a lavish, circular room, purple in colour. It didn’t suit the girl who resided in it. Once he was stood in the corner, his arms hugged to himself the tears started to fall again and he crumpled to the floor. He felt a stab of pain and a disgusting wetness as he sat but didn’t care, he curled into a ball to hide his sobbing. Margot only left him for a moment, to get a small pile of items and a bowl of warm water.

          “I’m gonna need you to lean forward, what did he-” she paused as she wiped his back clean methodically and applied a pressure bandage. “I wish I could be surprised.” She sighed. “He always was- well, still is, a brat.” Margot said quietly. Joshua didn’t know what that meant and he didn’t care. Margot took the time to wipe his face carefully before she spoke again.

          “Joshua, you’ve got blood on your underwear, I’ve got some spare pajamas here for you to change into. I’ll turn around so you can change ok?”

          Joshua had never felt more ashamed of himself than he did as he wriggled out of the ruined underwear and into some silky red boy-short style things, like he might have kept in a secret drawer at home, and a plain white t-shirt.

          Margot had always hated Mason’s gifts, each more inappropriate than the last, and if the boy didn’t know where the shorts came from it wouldn’t hurt him to take them off her hands. When Margot turned around Joshua had begun to shake again. Margot looked at him, saw his overwhelming fury. She understood. She handed him a pillow and sat next to him as Joshua buried his head into it and screamed and screamed and screamed, his muffled screams fading into crying wails like that of a five year old. Margot rubbed his lower back, the kid looked awful, god knows how Mason had managed to do that much, usually his toy things got off with emotional scars alone, never anything this extensive- he couldn’t afford the lawsuit. She just waited for the sobs to subside to deep breaths and for Joshua to raise his head.

          “Think I ruined your pillow.” He handed it back. “Sorry.” A twitch of a smile appeared and Margot smiled too, for the first time in a long while. Joshua seemed able to collect himself for a moment, he blew his nose on the piece of tissue he’d been given and offered a cautious smile.

          “Thank you for this, Margot, I was kinda a mess... I still am, to be honest.”

          “It’s ok. You go home tomorrow, alright? Get some therapy or something, take care of yourself.”

          “Yeah. I should probably do that… I mean, it’s my fault really, I know that, I just… need to process… can I ask… how do you know Ma- Mr Verger?”

          “Ah.” She gave a stiff smile. “Well… we shared a womb, I’ve known him for a long time.” Her eyes had an eerie far-off look which hinted at just how much she ‘knew’ him.

          “I’m sorry for your loss.” Joshua said genuinely, wondering why she didn’t leave; nothing in the whole world would convince him to stay in a house with that monster.

 

He stood to go, figuring it was better to get to the bunker and try to get _some_ sleep, but as he did he heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps along the corridor, and not long after door was kicked opened loudly and a re-dressed Mason appeared, with a wide smile and a wagging finger.

          “Margot! What _have_ I told you about playing with my toys?” He spoke more condescendingly to her than he had to Joshua.

          Margot’s face was as blank as a slate, it matched her voice. “I just put the ones you _break_ back together.”

          Joshua backed into the wall, trying to be invisible and look strong at the same time; neither attempts were a success.

          “Ah, Margot, you’re too good to me, little sister.” He playfully patted her cheek and managed to make it threatening. Joshua decided he didn’t have it as bad as some.

          “I’m twelve minutes older than you.” Deadpan.

          “But still so small, no no no, you’ll always be my _little sister_.” Mason beamed and looked at Joshua. “Come along Joshua, _Margot_ needs her _beauty sleep_.” The _relish_ with which he pronounced his sister’s name was sickening. Mason eyed the clothes Joshua was now wearing-  _ungrateful girl_. He offered Joshua the door. Joshua walked through it with one fleeting glance back at his comforter, who had the most terrifyingly blank look in her eyes.

 

Mason walked him back to the large hallway without a word.

          “Now what I don’t understand is, you go and cry on _her_ shoulder. You don’t come to me. Even though _I’m_ the _cause_ of your pain, _you_ won’t cry for me… Now why is that, Joshua?”

          Joshua blinked up at Mason and felt some scrap of pride somewhere in his stomach and spat bile when he spoke. “I didn’t _cry_ for _you_ because I’m not that _weak_.” He may have barely raised his voice but he felt as if he’d roared. He’d been expecting the slap, and barely felt a thing when it landed, just a formality. And then the choke-hold, _predictable_ \- Joshua managed to keep an empty smirk on his face.

          “My my Joshua, we are learning very fast… aren’t we.” Mason smiled and Joshua felt cold seep into his blood. “I’m _very_ impressed with you.” He let go and pushed Joshua’s fringe back, kissing his forehead. “Now, you’ve had _playtime_ , you’ve woken up Auntie Margot, so now you _hop_ on back to your camp bed and I’m sure I’ll see you again, _very soon_.” It seemed this one still had some fight left in him. Maybe there was something left to be played with, or if not him, his little brother maybe, the symmetry would be amusing. He spun Joshua towards the door with both hands on his shoulders and peaked through the back of the shirt to admire his handiwork once again. Joshua immediately pulled forward and marched himself back to his camp bed, not looking back once, exhaustion in every form finally letting a numbness spread all over his body. It took approximately three seconds after he’d picked the gravel out of his feet and put his head to pillow, _fuck his duvet_ , before he was sound asleep.

 

Joshua’s eyes snapped open a few hours later, always the first to wake up, he felt utterly exhausted. Before he could let the  Keeping his mind busy with simple things to keep from breaking down; he quickly shrugged his clothes on with his eyes on the ceiling, then stiffly packed up all of his belongings with as much speed as his battered body would allow, and then started packing the bag of the still sleeping Miles above him. _Why did the little shit scatter everything everywhere?_ Miles opened an eye slowly.

          “What are you doing?”

          “Get your stuff packed, we’re getting a bus back to The House right now this second.” Miles opened his mouth in protest.

          “But my friends- that’s not fair you said I could come here- you always ruin things for me-”

          “I don’t have time for this Miles.” Joshua snapped. “Get your stuff _now_. I’ll explain later.” He would have liked to just abort the whole trip, get all of the kids away from that _psycho_ , but that would raise too much suspicion, especially with… anyway, the others would have to fend for themselves. Miles had picked up on Joshua’s tone and sulkily trouped to gather all his things, pout on his face. He took a moment to pick on something else to complain about.  

          “What time is it? Where are we really going... Miss Hawthorne wouldn't just let us go..."

          Joshua sighed. “Just leave it, ok?”

          “What happened last night? You look _awful_ \- there’s bruises on your neck, and there’s _blood_ on your shirt-”

          “Just LEAVE it, Miles.” He growled. Miles went silent and pulled the drawstrings on his duffel bag as waited for Miles to change.

          “You ready? Let’s go.” He grabbed Miles’ extra bags and headed out the door, they’d get the first bus back to The House; Verger couldn’t follow them there, he probably wouldn’t even bother to try, and Joshua could deal with the emotional fallout once he’d gotten Miles safe. That’s what he convinced the cigarette he sucked on like a respirator on the walk out the campus, anyway.

 


	2. This Little Piggy Went Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warnings for victim blaming, knifeplay, blood, dub-con mentions, and underage tomfoolery

Joshua and Miles managed to get halfway down the gravel track, dust scuffing their shoes, when the balding sweat-patch man from yesterday appeared round the corner. Joshua tried to look as if he had every right to be marching out of camp, humming a tune to add to his casual appearance,

 

… _My lover’s got humour, he’s the giggle at a funeral…_

 

          “Howdy folks, where are you two off to?” Sweat-Patches jogged to catch up with them, that same slimy smile on his face.

 _Goddamnit_. Joshua sighed to give himself time to think. “Miles isn’t feeling too good, I’m taking him home so he can rest up.”

“Well that’s nothing to fuss about, we have a very capable medical team, not to worry.” Sweat-Patches smiled broadly and Joshua took an instant dislike to him.

 “He’s got the runs,” Joshua silenced a small squeak of protest from Miles with a sly pinch, “Don’t think he should be at camp with that.” He shrugged again; this man would be used to dealing with moody teenagers.

Sweat-Patches didn’t blink before he responded, “I don’t believe Miss Hawthorne would allow two of her… _young people_ to travel back to FreshSide Care Home alone if one of them was severely ill, do you?...Now, what’s really going on boys?” He folded his arms and looked at them expectantly, taking the tone of disappointed carer.

Joshua tried not to breathe the stale stench emanating from Sweat-Patches’ mouth, saw the tongue disappear from its brief trip around the puffy lips and came to the startling realization that Sweat-Patches knew. He knew what Mason did. _He probably was one of ‘them’ too_. They were all fucked if Verger kept a band of pedophiles as his staff, Joshua thought. He put steel into his voice as he spoke his next words, hoping his eyes would send an _off-you-will-fuck_ signal. “Miles and I are leaving. We want to go and there’s no reason you should stop us.”

Sweat-Patches clapped his hands together, and seemed not to have heard the tone of Joshua’s voice. “Come on now boys, we all get a little uneasy the first few days at camp, you’ll soon settle in.” He looked up the track towards the bunker and turned back to the boys with a blinding smile, “Let me take you back to your bunker, I better tell Miss Hawthorne what you’ve been up to.”

Joshua looked at Sweat-Patches. He considered running- _how far would he get? Did he want to give Sweat- Patches a reason to grab him and Miles?_ He hesitated and then sighed, dropped his shoulders and allowed himself to be marched back to camp, leaving his things in their bag at the foot of the bunk bed.

 

… _Knows everybody’s disapproval, I should have worshiped him sooner…_

 

Miss Hawthorne approached Joshua once the other boys had scampered off to breakfast, waiting for a second until stragglers registered the look in her eyes. Joshua was expecting her, and sat on the edge of his bunk with his hands in his lap and his jacket still on. A wave of ‘summer camp’ hit her as she walked through the room- the smell of PVC from the mattresses and sweat perfectly complimented the loud groan the springs gave when she sat next to Joshua. Silence from him.

          “Why did you try to run away, Joshua?” She waited for him to fill the silence, then a few moments longer. “Because you’re usually very well behaved- you prefer to be on your own and I understand that, but I’ve never seen you… act out, like this.” She watched Joshua make his mind up about what he was going to say.

          “Well miss, I just realized that the awful smell I’m used to actually came from the other boys, not the House, so I figured Miles and I were missing out on an opportunity to smell fresh air for once.” For the first time, Joshua’s smirk had no warmth at all behind it.

          “Joshua… Joshua I know you’d never do anything to put your brother in danger, I know you were probably doing what _you thought_ was best, and I’m sure if you talked to me, I could help you.”

          “You got me, Miss. I’m being bullied, no, better- Miles is being bullied.” Joshua changed his mind, a smile starting to grow on his face. “No wait, I’m worried he’s going to get swine flu- no, I’m worried he’ll be pressured into taking acid by one of the other kids... I think Muskrat farm is turning Miles homosexual… what do you want me to say, Miss?” He arched an eyebrow and could see the will to help dying in Miss Hawthorne’s eyes.

          “I want you to tell me the truth, Joshua.” She said firmly.

          “Put it down to teenage impulsiveness.”

          “Joshua…”

           Joshua stayed silent. Flicked a bit of dirt off the front of his shoe. The music from the radio outside seemed suddenly deafening.

 

… _If the heavens ever did speak, he’s the last true mouthpiece_ …  _Every Sunday’s getting more bleak, fresh poison each week…_

 

Eventually Miss Hawthorne gave up. “If you attempt anything like this again there will be consequences, do you understand? This is not an acceptable way to behave.” Her tone softened, she touched Joshua’s shoulder and felt a twitch. “My door is always open if you do want to talk about anything, Joshua. No matter what it is.” Silence. She left Joshua in his bunker, fairly certain he wouldn’t try to run away again, at least not without Miles.

 

…. _We were born sick, you heard them say it_ …

 

Miles didn’t seem to know any more than Miss Hawthorne did when she quietly pulled him aside at breakfast.

          “Do you have any idea why Joshua tried to take you both back to camp… is there somewhere else you were going?”

          Miles glanced nervously over at the door and shook his head.

          “Did you ask him to take you somewhere? You know you could have asked me if you wanted to go somewhere.” She said gently.

          “Yes I…. No…” He bit his lip, he wasn’t as good at lying as his brother yet. “No, he just said that we needed to go and grabbed me.” He started to fidget.

          “Do you not want to stay here Miles?” Miss Hawthorn asked gently.

          Another look towards the door. “No, I want to stay.”

          “Well really I ought to send you home if I can’t trust you to stay safely within my care-” Miles’ blue eyes, so much like his brother’s, met Miss Hawthorne’s with a look of pleading.

          “No- please don’t make me go back- Joshua dragged me up I swear! I don’t know why I didn’t want to go but he made me! I want to stay…”

          Mrs Hawthorne nodded, smiled and let him go back to his meal, wondering what had spooked Joshua so badly. Usually she kept an eye on the music and films the children were into; she had problems with run-aways on the nights of concerts and such, but Joshua had never been like that- he had certainly never tried to run away before. Or perhaps he had never been caught. She made a mental note to keep an eye on the boy for the rest of the trip- hoping nothing else would come up, or she would have to dispatch one of the staff to take Joshua home. If that was what he wanted so badly she couldn’t afford to jeopardize the trip, and Mr. Verger’s generosity, for a temper tantrum.

          Joshua didn’t show up to breakfast.

 

... _We were born sick, I heard him say it..._

Joshua sat for a moment on his bed when Miss Hawthorn had gone and waited for real silence to descend. He had half an hour at least until the others returned from breakfast (in the square complex allocated for a kitchen near the staff block). He stood, took the clothes from yesterday with their dried stains, and pushed them to the bottom of his bag; there was no bin to put them in the bunker.

_…My church offers no absolutes, he tells me ‘worship in the bedroom’_

Joshua had a sudden urge for a shower. He itched at his clothes and an overwhelming disgust for his skin rushed through his head. He had time. He looked each way several times before he dared slip to the showers, realizing not going to breakfast with the others, leaving himself alone and vulnerable, had been a bad idea. He dragged a chair up against the door, and stripped down. The feeling of utter ridiculousness spread over him as he stepped into his swimming trunks to shower, but he refused to look at himself naked, and instead sang semi-loudly to distract himself when the stinging started from the water running over his fresh wounds. His voice didn’t sound half-bad echoing off the tile walls,

          “ _The only heaven I’ll be sent to, is when I’m alone with you…we were born sick, I love it…. Command me to be well-_ shit!” Joshua grit his teeth as he scrubbed his body, the soap had probably been a bad plan. At least the last essence of fruity cologne was gone. He turned up the water as hot as he could stand, which didn’t much help but at least it steamed up the mirrors as he dedicated himself to the task of scrubbing every inch of himself clean, smoothing the cheap lather over his hands and arms, trying to rub away the marks he found, on his back, on his front, his knees and… he couldn’t scrub all of the filth off. Even when he turned off the water and quickly re-dressed himself he didn’t feel clean. He scrubbed his mouth with his toothbrush and even after swirling mouthwash he still he felt a dirtiness. He collected the rest of his belongings and hurried back to his dorm. On the way he noticed the ‘casual’ gaze of one of the other assistants, the curly haired one this time. So he was being kept-an-eye-on, then. The duvet had been missing from the shower block too, now that he thought about it. _Was it Verger?_ Joshua decided not to think about it.

         

There were other boys in the bunker when he returned, but they were used to Joshua being quiet and left him alone. Joshua grabbed an entirely new outfit; dark blue jeans, a white-t-shirt which felt soft against his skin, a lighter blue hoody which was the most comfortable thing he owned, fresh underwear and socks and made a second trek to the bathroom and to the single cubicle to change again. He felt minutely better. He heard his stomach grumble, hungry now, but breakfast was over and he wasn’t going to ask for any special treatment. So he waited for a few of the tubbier boys to file in before poking and prodding snacks out of them- his best find was an entire packet of cornflakes, and he again retreated to the singular stall that seemed to be his only chance of privacy for the next one week, three days, sixteen hours, twenty seven minutes and counting. He had to crouch on the floor because of the lack of toilet seat, and once he started eating the large box of cereal his stomach screamed- he’d eaten half the box before he knew it. Finally slowing to chew after that, the taste of the Doritos he ate next was pleasantly strong, and once he got to the bag of gummy bears he started to feel full. By the time he’d finished his feast he felt a little sick and settled for a moment to let fullness wash over his system.

 

_… Take me to church I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies, I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife…_

The rest of his sense came flooding back to him as the digestion’s fatigue wore off; he’d been napping for thirty minutes, eighteen seconds when he snapped open his eyes with a singular thought. _Miles_. Before he was properly conscious of what exactly his thoughts were he was on his feet and moving. Back to the bunker- he waved at the curly haired man this time- before he jogged his way back and checked on his baby brother. He wasn’t on his bunk. Joshua whipped his head around and his heart slowed to normal once again- Miles was sitting with a few of his friends on a bed at the opposite end of the room. _He was ok_. If they couldn’t leave then all they had to do was survive the next one week, three days, fifteen hours, one minute... Miles wasn’t to leave his sight.

 

… _Offer me that deathless death, good God let me give you my life_ …

 

Joshua spent the rest of the day as if he were sitting on a spike, and that was without actually sitting as that wasn’t something he could do, yet. Not fast anyway.

He’d had a go at inspecting the damage with a shaving mirror stolen from one of the kids who’d convinced himself he needed it, and even holding the bile in his throat it hadn’t looked good. He’d used some Aloe Vera, and some tissue to stop the slight bleeding leaking to his underwear- not easy stains to explain; how did girls deal with that shit? He hoped he wasn’t… _torn_ too badly, he couldn’t afford to go to hospital. He was just left unable to sit or move too quickly for fear of making it worse, and the scab was itchy but he’d never been that kind of boy anyway.

          All the campers were milling around after their feeding until 9:03 am exactly, when Sweat-Patches reappeared- Joshua was astounded that the man’s smile had found a way to become larger.

          “Ok kids, you ready for another action packed day? Alright!” he pulled out his clipboard from under his arm dramatically, he had three quarters of the younger kids attention, and a further quarter of the older kids who would take any positive re-enforcement they could get. Joshua continued to examine his fingernails. “Hmm… let’s see, what are we up to today…Ah! Archery! Let’s get going- I believe Pablo is setting up the targets now, shall we go see?” Of course Miles was beyond up for archery, had been since Joshua’s first week at the camp, and Joshua was left with no choice but to follow him out, careful not to trail too far at the back of the pack.

 

_… I’m a pagan of the good times, my lover’s the sunlight…_

Joshua kept his sight high and to the mansion, eyes wide and head never still in order to keep his guard up. He didn’t like how open the field was but there was nothing he could do about that. They had been taken to one of the outer fields where a crude set of wooden targets had been set up, but the colored rings weren’t enough to distract Joshua. He didn’t think that Verger would try anything again, not in public anyway- but then again the only people watching them were Verger’s people- Miss Hawthorne had been asked to accompany one boy who had sprained his ankle on his over-exited run to the targets to the medical center.

          Joshua was more concerned about Miles and if Verger would take action because of his escape attempt. Two hours of Verger-free eyes roaming the fields, flickering back to targets when Miles called him to see later it was time for another _fun activity_. This time it was a team game of some sort- something involving big pillars of wood and ropes and not touching the floor. They had moved to the other side of the bunker to a flattened area of dirt built for such activities- Joshua was forced to move to the shed where the equipment was housed, and now only had a three-quarter way view at any one time. He made up for this with an extra 50% attention, his neck began to hurt from swiveling so often, but he didn’t dare sneak behind for a smoke- something which would have definitely helped his nerves. Still, Verger did not appear, and Miles was beginning to show signs of distress purely from observing his brother’s erraticness. He was counting the amount of times he caught Joshua with his hand running through his hair (a sure sign of his stress), and it was in the high forties by the time they had finished the second activity.

          By lunchtime Joshua had developed a slight twitch. He would have avoided eating Verger’s food, but when he smelt a hot meal he ended up with several helpings and ate like he hadn’t for a week; Even Miles was impressed, and Miles had his own adolescent hunger to impress with. Joshua felt tiredness creep into him when he’d finished polishing his plate, and cursed himself for eating so much. He hadn’t slept well either so metabolism was making his exhaustion that much worse.

When the campers were taken off-site to a lake twenty minutes away from the compound Joshua forced his tired body into the van and then adamantly refused to leave the bank when they got there. He watched the water, ready to jump in if Pablo; the now named curly haired man, tried anything, but as the afternoon wore on without any incident he felt a cautiously growing sense of ease.

 

By the time they returned to the camp Joshua was nearly fainting from exhaustion and twice found himself dozing off on the short journey. He forced himself through the hour of football, sat on the side-lines watching as intently as he was able, and by dinner he was nearly convinced Verger wouldn’t make an appearance. And still Joshua scoffed food down, replacing sleep with calories, even finishing his vegetables.

After that Miles wanted to play outside with the other boys, football again, and so Joshua sat in his coat in the bitter cold and watched, allowing himself a smoke to keep himself awake. They were all sent to their bunks at eight o’clock and prepared for bed not long after. Joshua made sure Miles was busy with the other boys before he quickly washed and changed, not being longer than five minutes in the changing facilities before he was back within reach of his brother. Once he was in bed he could feel weariness wash over him, and insisted Miles return to the top bunk, and heard only mutely grumbled complaints, _so he must know something’s up_ ….

“Miles?” Joshua said quietly.

“Yeah?” Miles’ voice peaked with curiosity.

“This is gonna sound weird… but just in case… if anyone- anyone at all that isn’t one of us, comes in here, wake me up. No matter what, just shout and I’ll wake up, ok?”

“What? Who’s gonna come in here?” Miles leaned over Joshua’s side of the metal bunk bed, conversation with his friends forgotten for a moment.

“No one- I just meant if someone did, you know…”

“Yeah I know that… you think I’d just waltz of with some dude who offered me a candy bar?”

“No I know you wouldn’t… I was just making sure. Don’t take candy from strangers,” he thought for a moment, “even _girl_ strangers, they can be just as dangerous you know.”

“Yeah yeah ok.” Miles paused for a moment. “So… you ok?”

“I’m fine.” Joshua rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and yawned softly.

“It’s just that you’ve been acting really… _weird_ … lately and I was just wondering if you had anything you wanted to… _talk about_.” Miles tried not to screw up his face; he wasn’t good at this emotion stuff.

“I’m fine Miles, you know me, I just don’t like camp.” Joshua turned over and bunched the covers to tuck himself in, he attempted to stay awake for a while but realized in the haze before he surrendered that not sleeping would leave him even more vulnerable anyway.

 

_…to keep the Goddess on my side, he demands a sacrifice… drain the whole sea, there’s something shiny…_

 

_It started with a voice whispering in his ear, words softly and carefully spoken but almost drawled. Something, an arm or a snake, traced up his back, slowly. His hair was pulled back and everything was silent for a moment. The thing at his spine grew fingers, tangled in his hair slowly then seized suddenly. Something started slamming his head down again and again and again, and arms was pulling him apart, ripping him in half from the bottom up... Joshua tried to scream but there was something in his mouth, he coughed and gasped around it, it was a **pig’s snout** and it was screaming for him…_

 

… _Something meaty for the main course_...

 

Joshua woke with a start. He had a mouth full of pillow and a sheen of sweat over his body. His throat felt rough and his breathing rate was double. He scrubbed a hand over his face and tried to calm his breathing.  What had he dreamed about? _I don’t want to remember_. He waited until the adrenaline had diffused into his system, taking deep breaths and rubbing his hands over his face and head. He realized he needed a shower; his bed was damp with his sweat and he could feel wet down his neck and over his chest. It was only when he had padded three sticky steps the first sense of déjà vu hit him. He retreated to his bed almost immediately and sat... winced and re-adjusted... and thought.

          “Shit.” He muttered. There was no way he was going to be caught back there, at night, alone. “Shit shit shit.” He tucked his legs under his chin and ran a hand through his hair. He’d have to be awake early and shower in the morning. He lay back on his bed and tried to let his mind calm. It took a while for him to feel cool enough to slip under his new duvet, mysteriously provided upon his return to the bunker earlier that evening, and it took even longer to shut his eyes and keep them shut. He tried to focus on something else, slip away into some other dream. He thought about the life he wanted to live; sitting on a 1984 Ducati TT2 with its 750cc four stroke, warming up for the grand prix, adjusting his leather gloves and his helmet with a BP Oil sticker on it and preparing for the race. He heard the hush over the audience just before the start… 3… 2… 1…

 

_…That’s a fine looking high horse…_

 

He woke at 5am sharp. One week, two days, eighteen hours, fifty seven minutes. He scrambled out of the bed, tempted to bring the baseball bat leaning in the corner to the bathroom with him. He showered quickly, wary of the other boys seeing him, and felt slightly less sore than yesterday, and dared to look at himself. The bruises on his hips had gone from a dark red to the beginnings of blue, and the scratches were beginning to scab- Joshua resisted picking. He caught a glimpse of the initials on his back, leaking from being towel dried, when he turned to look at the door and caught himself in the mirror. He stared for a hard moment, unable to look away- the wounds were red and deep and looked painful, though they didn’t feel it until Joshua flexed his shoulders. He hurried on to the rest of his morning routine, throwing a towel over the hook above the mirror. He was dressed and ready by the time Miles had stumbled out the door at six forty-five, rubbing sleep from his eyes. Joshua waited in the shower block with him, until Miles complained, and then waited outside and out of sight.

         

The rest of the day passed smoothly; Joshua was almost starting to believe Verger had done with him. He hadn’t appeared to any of the others by the sounds of it either. Nothing memorable happened; there was team-games, and then softball, and then lunch, and then Joshua was trailing behind again as they were taken to another horse riding session. Miles was humming happily as they walked-  _What you got in the stable, we’ve a lot of starving faithful_ \- Joshua was running his hand along the chain-link fence that marked the edge of the camp enclosure and looked up in time to see a face he knew. His heart stopped for a moment before his memory caught up. It was the girl who’d found him in the mansion and, her dark hair now in a plait, she was trotting on the other side of the fence on one of the Verger’s private horses. He sought out her eye contact and found it, her eyes widened when she noticed him. Joshua waved his hand and the woman returned the gesture stoically before she trotted off. Joshua’s thoughts lingered on her for the rest of the day.

 

_Hmm… what to do, what to do, what to do… there’s potential, certainly. But is it worth the effort- do I have the time… would it be any fun making him squeal again…_

Mason sat in his chair in the living room. He had a glass of incredibly expensive whiskey at his side and a file open in front of him. He was supposed to be studying the blood work of the latest breed of piglets and the genes the litter had inherited- there were only thirteen of them so far, but if they showed promise he already had a pregnant sow ready. That wasn’t what Mason found himself thinking about.

He had woken up the morning after with a good night’s sleep, and an _excellent_ dream, and gotten on with his day as normal. He’d been productive but not overly so and he’d gotten to his evening meal before his thoughts had strayed to Joshua at all, and then only in fleeting; that of a pleasant memory.

The _next_ day however was when Joshua began to plague his thoughts. He had sat down with the full intention to work and work hard- Mason had two methods of working; the half-hearted and masturbation distracted kind of work he filled days with, and the serious kind where he could produce anyone else’s week-load in two hours. This had been the later kind. And _yet_ he found himself interrupted. And by _pornography_. Mason prided himself on his ability to keep work and play completely separate, except when it wasn’t, but the more he read about the piglets the more he thought of Joshua. He experienced oddly specific flashes of memory, which caused Mason to crease his brow. He remembered the way Joshua _arched his back as he first pushed in_ , the _small noise he made when Mason tugged his hair_ , how his _fist clenched when Mason arched his hips up_ and his _head dropping when he’d said_ something or other. Mason was distracted, and then some. He’d never gotten hard when he was focusing, in fact he usually had to add some toys to jerk off if he wanted to do it right after an intense work period, so _this little problem_ was bothering him immensely. He sat back and brought the tips of his fingers to his lips, as if in prayer. His blue eyes blinked and flickered behind the glasses.

 _Was there anything worth salvaging there?_ Mason hummed as he thought. He’d never _re-cooked food_ , as it were, and he wasn’t sure if he was going to start now. _Besides the way I left him he probably won’t be much good fun for at least a week…_ _Or would he?_ _No no no, old toys were already broken and no more fun could be had there_. Mason sighed and glanced back at his folder. Looked down at his tented pants. _Fifteen minutes and then back to work_. Tacky erotic music came through his laptop speakers as he booted it up, pages he needed already loaded…

 

_…That looks tasty, that looks plenty, this is hungry work…_

 

          “You’re not taking him fucking anywhere!” Joshua stood in front of Miles, arms spread, ready to lunge at the woman in front of him if she didn’t back the fuck off. Miles looked embarrassed, the others looks shocked and slightly awkward. The tall woman blinked at Joshua.

          “Joshua… I’m just taking him to the lake with the others, I don’t see why-”

          “No! He’s not going anywhere without me. I don’t care what you say- it’s not happening.” Joshua grit his teeth, to the taller woman he looked like a feral animal. Miss Hawthorn approached.

          “Joshua! Miles! What’s going on?”

          The other woman looked to Miss Hawthorn for guidance. “I put them into groups and then when I tried to take Miles to the lake with the rest of his group- for _raft building_ ,” a pointed look at Joshua, “Joshua freaked out- I don’t understand, is he...?”

          Miss Hawthorn regarded Joshua and Miles curiously. Miles looked as confused as the rest of them. “Joshua… why won’t you let Miles go to the lake… are you worried he can’t swim?”

          “He’s not going anywhere without me. Period.” Joshua said immediately.

          “But… _why_?”

          Joshua blinked. Assessed the situation. Calmed himself down a little. “I just want to be in Miles’ team. That’s all. Please.”

          “No, Joshua.” Miss Hawthorn had had enough, if Joshua needed something he would have to explain, she couldn’t keep bending the rules for him or the other kids would get itchy. Joshua’s face went a little red.

          “You don’t understand-”

          “You do not speak to members of staff the way you did- you know better than to make a scene. You must have caught heat or something and it's confused you, I think you should stay in your bunker for the rest of the afternoon, after you’ve apologized to… um?”

          “Miss Campbell.” The tall woman prompted.

          Joshua pleaded, “No!- I mean, Miss please don’t do that, I won’t be any more trouble I promise-”

          “My decision is final, Joshua.” She said firmly and pulled Miles out from behind him. Joshua grabbed Miles’ arm.

          “Let go Josh, this isn’t funny!” Miles complained, feeling the other boys sniggering at him behind the teachers.

          “But I-”

          “ _Please_ Josh, you look like an idiot and everyone’s laughing at us.” Miles whined through gritted teeth.

          “I… Ok.” Joshua stepped back and scrubbed a hand through his hair, looking panicked. Miss Hawthorn looked stern as she escorted him back to the bunker, ignoring the jeers from the other campers. Joshua didn’t take his eyes off Miles or the van he went into until he disappeared through the gates of the camp.

          Miss Hawthorne stopped outside the bunker door. “Now, you’ve caused enough trouble for one day, I can’t treat you differently than the others…” her eyes softened, “look, Joshua, if there’s something you want to talk to me about…”

          “Nah.” Joshua spun on his heel and barged through the door, slamming it behind him. Miss Hawthorn waited a moment outside, unsure if she should follow him in. She decided to retreat to the staff block- she could see the entrance to the bunker from there, and could make sure Joshua didn’t try to leave.

 

… _Offer me that deathless death, good God let me give you my life_ …

 

Joshua paced the length of the room. He could try to leave, somehow get to the lake? He peaked out the window. _She’s watching_. He was an _idiot_. Verger hadn’t shown up yesterday, so maybe he’d given up. _He’d waited until he caught me alone, he won’t mess with the group-_ Miss Hawthorn wouldn’t allow it- and she’d still be there if _you hadn’t made a scene you stupid fuck!_ He raked both hands through his hair and continued to pace. A new thought entered his head. _What if Verger came here_? No, that was impossible. Miss Hawthorn would see, unless he pulled some weasel-y sneaky shit. _Which he might_ … He looked at the door suspiciously.

 

… _No masters or kings when the ritual begins_ ….

 

Mason had found another plaything. Small, innocent, _very_ young. He had been sitting all alone, no one to play with while the rest of his group ran around. Poor, poor little thing. All he’d had to do is offer his hand and a Baby Ruth and the little fella had been more than happy to follow him to the stables. The look on his face when Mason told _Michael_ that his poor little sister _wasn’t going to be around much longer… mommy called from the hospital and she’s gotten very sick… it’s not fair, I know…_ Michael had immediately burst into tears and for a moment Mason had seen Joshua’s face. Hmm… well that sent him on a whole other train of thought…

 

… _there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin_...

 

Michael left the stables with dried cheeks and a deep sense of confusion and wrongness. He didn’t understand what had happened to him, and he couldn’t ask anyone about it otherwise his mommy would find out and then she’d never come and visit him again. He wanted to cry. He wanted to see his sister. He wanted to see his mommy. He sniveled all the way back to his camp bed, complaining in a very quiet way about a sore stomach, and didn’t come out until the next morning.

         

Mason left with a smile on his face and lingering sense of the _something_ he could only feel making children cry, and which he could only approximate to satisfaction. He rolled his neck and shifted his shoulders, humming softly as he adjusted his gloves… _good day… time for a martini_.  

_…In the madness and soil, of that sad earthly scene…_

Joshua lay in bed. The team from group activities had returned first, so Joshua had been forced to cease pacing and tap his foot impatiently watching the door, snapping at some home-sick kid to _shut up_ when his sniveling had gotten to loud. When Miles had arrived home it had been without incident (Joshua had subtly interrogated him) and Joshua was relieved, but found Miles was now avoiding him as much as possible, not wanting to be associated with his new laughable reputation. That was ok- Joshua got the message, and backed off a little. So long as he didn’t stray too far Joshua could let Miles be irritated with him until they got back to the house in one week, three days, six hours and thirty-six minutes time. He had gotten through dinner and the post-dinner games played around a fireside before everyone got too cold in the freezing night air, and had even gotten through his final sneaky trip to the bathroom ok. He dared to hope Verger was leaving him alone now, maybe leaving everyone alone- he’d had his fill for a bit. And on the even brighter side he could just about sit down without feeling any pain at all now.

 

… _Only then I am human, only then I am clean, ohh amen_ …

 

Joshua was having trouble sleeping. He tossed and turned but he couldn’t drift off. He had to try and calm his mind- he had that damn song in his head,

 

… _take me to church I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies_ …

 

He sighed. Tried to imagine the sound of a V-II engine filling his ears and the leather grip of the gloves and _Mason’s hand in his hair_ \- oh no. That was not happening. Try again. The sound of engines and the smell of gasoline. The flood of adrenaline before a big race and _the small noise at the back of his throat when he’d_ \- Joshua’s eyes snapped open. He should not be thinking about that. His eyes glanced downwards. Ah. That would explain things. Shit.

          Now Joshua was a boy with a pretty particular masturbation regime. Most of the older boys and girls at the House did it, and night time in the dorms was a time of forgiveness and pretending you couldn’t hear what was going on. Joshua and a few others preferred the privacy of the bathrooms- Joshua just couldn’t get off with his brother in the room. He was also a pretty regular fellow, and had a healthy teenage appetite for an evening’s fun. Yesterday he had been too paranoid and tired so today was his cum-uppance, as it were.

          He spat quietly into his hand and slipped it under the duvet, he figured Mason was only coming into his head, _pun not intended,_  because he was the most recent escapade. _So just think of someone else_. There were a few boys at the House who’d gotten the prestige of making it to his wank-bank but none of them really fit the bill. Some of the stuff he’d seen on RedTube helped, and he was managing to maintain a steady rhythm when he heard someone roll over in their bed and froze. Glanced around. All asleep. He tried to get going again but nerves had got him. _Shit_. He figured he couldn’t get a messy bed again- he’d had a hard enough time explaining how his sheets had disappeared last time. He could go to the bathroom and then he’d get some privacy, Verger couldn’t drag him kicking and screaming through a locked stall door if he decided to make an appearance.

          Joshua sneaked to the shower block, didn’t turn the lights on and padded to the singular stall, locking it behind him. Using a complicated balancing act- _why didn’t the damn toilets have seats_ -Joshua managed to continue with his mind focused. As he started up again his mind wandered; to the time left at camp, the day’s activities- stopping his interactions with one or two of the other boys, until a few more pleasant images popped into his view. It was some of the more hard-core stuff from RedTube, seemed he was in a more intense mood. For five minutes or so he kept his mind relatively pure- well, given the circumstances, but every now and then an image of Verger showed up, and he had to divert his thoughts again. He also struggled with the potential excitement of him finding Joshua like this. _Not that that would be a good thing._

          All too soon he found himself straying, and he knew he shouldn’t be getting off on what Verger had done to him, but every time he started to pick up the pace and lose himself in his hand he couldn’t help but think about it… surely it wasn’t wrong to take some pleasure in it? It was just his brain trying to process and integrate what had happened into his head so he wouldn’t go crazy. Must be.

          And so it was with guilt he gave in to his fantasies, and admittedly wave after wave of pleasure hit him when he did. He was edging faster than he’d admit to it- _a tug on his hair_ … _hot breath on his neck…_

… _I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife_ …

He changed some of the details in his head; in his version the pain wasn’t so awful it was unbearable, and Mason’s arms were holding him, not harming him.

… _Offer me that deathless death_ …

Little by little his mind trod darker and his breathing quickened, _Mason biting his lip so hard it bled-_  Joshua had to bite his lips shut to keep himself quiet. _A voice drawling in his ear_ … He could feel the heat starting to pool down from his stomach to his thighs, _you want this, Joshua, don’t give up yet…_ He took a small breath and heard Mason’s voice say _Joshua_ in his ear, imagined the first heat of pain from a knife in his back and came, warm onto his belly, exhaling the word ‘fuck’ quietly. He took a moment to re-gain his breath and enjoy the lingering sense of glow. Then he listened carefully; no one was in the bathroom with him. He waited a moment and crept out of the door, wincing as the door squeaked and he wiped himself off on his towel before he pulled his boxers up from his ankles. When he crept back into the bunk a few of the boys were still awake, he ignored the ones that were suddenly very still and edged through the darkness. He stubbed his toe on someone’s bag and felt it tip on its side and its contents spill. He tried to edge to his bed more quietly,

          “Can you at least put it back?” Came the voice from the bottom bunk.

          “Shit- sorry Alex.” Joshua whispered and bent to shove the numerous sweet packets back, and even zipped up the bag for him when he had. He made the rest of the way across the floor without incident, shuffled onto his bed, shut his eyes and found himself drifting off, this time with the image of… _what was her name_ … _Mary- Margot- that was it… her dark haunted eyes when she’d seen him at the stable…_

… _Good God let me give you my life_ …

 

At that moment Mason was sat in his lounge, head leaned against the back of the large enveloping seat, and thought-  Adam's apple bobbing as he hummed one of his favorite hymns- _Father God I wonder how I managed to exist without the knowledge of your parenthood, and your loving care…_ The stock of piglets he’d gotten were looking promising, the sow might be needed after all; they were fast and vicious, but he wouldn’t know if they were right for the job for another six weeks, until they were old enough to feed properly. _But now I am your child I am adopted in your family, and I can never be alone_ … oh children’s faith and hope was so _amusing_ , they took comfort in these empty promises… _‘cause father God you’re there beside me, I will sing your praises_ … They all learnt there was no one to hold their hand, that all their praises were empty and that they were alone, eventually. God didn’t give two shits about some poor little orphan, but as long as some of them believed He did it added a whole other dimension of _fun_ to Mason’s games.

          _I wonder if Joshua has faith_ … he couldn’t stop the thought before it came to his head. The frown of a petulant child appeared on his face. Papa had taught Mason always to cross examine himself- it was good practice and one of the most valuable pursuits to enable your success. He felt interest towards Joshua, or parts of him did. _Why?_ Interest was caused by arousal of the senses, which made sense. Joshua had been a new experience, and a good one at that, which explained his lingering thoughts. The _age_ of the children he molested was not the point of the matter, not really. The vulnerability and incompetence was what Mason liked to control, liked to expose and exploit. His favorite pastime, however was to teach others about _pain_ , his most prized study. Joshua didn't fit that pattern, _oh he was vulnerable, sure, but he’d also had some idea what was going on, had **encouraged**_ _him. That had never happened before._ Did Mason like being wanted? No that wasn’t it, if that were true he would visit the nearby town bar and go prowling, no he enjoyed pushing Joshua over the edge- his _pride_. He’d never had one with so much ingrained _pride_ before, combined with a tragic obsession with control Joshua had mistaken for masochism, and watching that fall, that was what exited Mason. So if there were any games left to play they would have to be by new rules, and carefully. That suited Mason fine.

 

\------------------------

 

The next day Joshua got up and showered early, as usual, and his on-edge monitoring of Miles calmed down a little as Miss Hawthorn’s observation of Joshua picked up. He slipped on a black t-shirt, he could just about get away without wearing a collar, the same jeans from yesterday and his leather jacket before he went to breakfast and then to the outdoor field exercises without issue or complaint, now on best behavior. He even forgot to obsessively check over his shoulder, so it was only as he snuck behind the stables to light a cigarette his thoughts wandered to Verger again. He felt a dark pool of guilt over last evening’s proclivities but also a twinge of arousal when he thought about them- that feeling was being put fast on the road to repression.

 

 _Take me to church I’ll worship like a dog_ …Mason hummed as he walked, dressed now in his black furred jacket, a white shirt and a blue floral tie, with his navy pinstriped suit- he was going to go and speak to his beloved sister (who should have arrived back from her morning ride by now), and on his way he happened to stroll past the little hideaway place Joshua liked to smoke in. Of course he’d heard about Joshua’s little truant escape attempt; he had asked his team to keep an eye on his game piece the second it had tottered out of his mansion… He could work the little brother angle, Mason doubted Joshua was the sort to tattle-tale. Still, it was a risk… but that added to the excitement, didn’t it? ... A _t the shrine of your lies_

 

 _I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife_ … Joshua hummed as he threw the butt of his cigarette away, looked up and froze. Verger was walking along the path at the top of the hill, and he was looking right at him. Joshua’s chest tightened and their eyes met. Verger smiled pleasantly and waved. Joshua didn’t move, just looked at him with a sustained look of horror. Mason beamed and continued walking, hands in his pockets and whistling a tune.

          Joshua watched until he was sure Mason had gone and stood up, head rush making him dizzy. He had to protect Miles. His chest felt funny and his breathing had sped up. His memory flashed the image of Mason when he’d first brought the knife around his throat and his whispers became loud in Joshua’s ears. He sat back down and wrapped his arms around his knees, breath coming in short pants as he hyperventilated. _Need to save Miles, need to save Miles, need to save Miles, need to save Miles, save Miles, save Miles save Miles, Miles, Miles, Miles._

“Miles. Miles. Miles. Miles.” It was the only word he could speak, using it as a crutch to breathe as panic flooded his system. He tore at his hair and rubbed his neck, trying to calm himself down. The sound of his gulping breaths in between each repetition of his brother’s name filled his ears, he tried to shut his eyes, couldn’t bear for Mason to creep up on him while he was like this, opened them again and waited for it to ride through him. He tried to logic himself out of the fear- he needed to return to the front of the stables before someone noticed he was gone. He needed to walk to do that. He had to stand up to do that. He had to breathe normally to do that. Joshua pulled himself up, breath gradually slowing, and counted each step around the stable, keeping his eyes up to reassure himself Verger wasn’t in sight. He managed to get to the front of the stable ok and leaned against the pillar until his heart rate returned to normal. He could see Miles playing with one of the piglets that was getting slightly too chubby for it to be considered a piglet anymore. Miles was fine. He was fine. Miss Hawthorne would be here to escort the group to dinner soon. A wave of exhaustion washed over Joshua and he sat against the pillar, feeling tiredness seep into his blood- he had been hyperventilating for ten minutes, and it had taken him a further fifteen to calm down. He started to drift a bit, decided to shut his eyes and listen for his brother’s loud excited speech instead. His concentration lasted five minutes until he dozed off into a semi-conscious state and was woken fifteen minutes later with Sweat-Patches shaking him.

“C’mon kid, time to wake up,” A smile that wide is not a nice thing to wake up to. Neither is the foul breath that accompanied it. Joshua quickly jerked himself up and stood, brushing his clothes down.

“Looks like someone needs to get an earlier night.” The man tsked gently- all the other boys were glancing at him from the corner of their eyes as they put their stuff away. Sweat-Patches shuffled his clip board and glanced at it. “Right, well, as you’re now all rested, you can be the one to return the gear to the staff shed.” He proffered the clipboard, stopwatch and pen that were a part of his ‘assistant’s gear’. Joshua rubbed his eyes and nodded, no need to rock the boat- he could run and be back before Verger could know Miles was on his own.

“Where is the staff’s shed?” he asked blearily.

“Just walk up this road, past the front of that house there, and it’s in front of the stables on the other side of the road. Mr Verger keeps his staff’s facilities closer to his compound.” He grinned and patted Joshua’s back to get him moving. “Hurry back or you’ll miss your dinner.”

Joshua froze and looked up at the mansion that formed the end of the leg on a capital ‘L’ that was the Verger compound. He felt the bitterness of the cold wind for the first time that day. No way was he walking along those fancy iron gates _, painted black to match Verger’s soul no doubt_ , alone. He looked over his shoulder and saw Miss Hawthorne, Sweat-Patches and most of the other boys watching him. His choices were clear; if he caused any more trouble there would be consequences. _Well, if I’m late for dinner Miss Hawthorne will come looking for me at least_. He swallowed, pulled out his pack of gum, and worked out part of his anxiety through chewing. He walked briskly and with purpose, happy to get this little walk out of the way, until he was sure everyone had stopped watching him. He paused as he started to walk past the front of the smallest mansion in the castle-like complex; this was where he had been brought last time. No sign of Verger. Maybe he was still at the private track…

          _Offer me that deathless death-_ Joshua hummed trying to calm himself as he marched forward, head low, feeling a spike of tension as he crossed past the front door and to the safety of the smart brick shed- it was slightly too big to be called a shed but there isn’t a word for something like that as they only belong to the very very rich, who merely call them cupboards. He put the equipment away and singed it in. _Job done_. Now to get back. He walked back along the gate separating the Vergers from the real world rather than directly past the front door, running his fingers along the fence as he went. Verger had just happened to see him on his way to do whatever billionaire creeps do, that was all.

 

He walked along the side of the building, past the wide expanse of greenery in front of the large forested area they had driven past on their way into camp, and admired the scenery for a moment. His eyes flickered to the front door and back and he didn’t notice Verger waiting just beside the house. Mason leapt out and had Joshua’s arms twisted behind his back and a gloved hand over his eyes in a heartbeat.

          “Hello Joshua… did you _miss_ me?” the tone of amusement was back.

          Joshua froze for a split second, but as Verger started to drag him back towards the house he kicked and scrabbled with his legs, putting all of his weight into getting free, and swallowing his gum as he gulped air to scream.

“No! Get off! Let me go!” He choked. Unfortunately he was also still blinded by Mason’s glove and when Mason let him go he slipped onto the marble steps hard, and felt a swelling pain and a hot wetness on his lip. He groaned softly.

          “Silly, silly Joshua. Let’s get you up, now.” Mason managed to get Joshua standing and Joshua jerked his head around wildly- no one in sight, only the door. He was ready to run but Mason jerked him backwards and Joshua had to stumble up the steps to stop himself falling again. Once Mason had man-handled him inside Joshua tried to wiggle out of Mason’s grip and received a punch in the gut for his troubles- after that he sucked his lips and kept his feet moving, hatred filled him at how compliant he was being. This time he was taken through the door under the stairs and into a spacious kitchen, a long glass table ran through the middle of the room with enough space for twelve and a black Range with matching counter-tops enclosed the far end of the room, one long counter used for preparing food split the two sections of the room. The stone floors made an echoic noise as Joshua walked forward. On the table were a few arrangements of green plants and some papers, but the glass surface itself was spotless, not a single scratch- Verger’s maintenance team must be paid very well. It was when the click of the lock in the polished oak doors sounded panic started to set in- Joshua turned around and began to speak firmly, intending on telling Verger explicitly he didn’t want to play anymore.

          “Mr. Verger, if you don’t let me go right now-”

          “No, no, no.” Mason only had to take two steps and Joshua was already backing away. “No see, I _asked you_ to call me Mason.” Mason’s smile was far from friendly.

          “Mason. Right. Sorry. I need to go, you know if I’m late I’ll be missed…” He kept firm command of his voice to make sure he didn’t stammer. Mason shook his head and tsked, wagging his finger as he backed Joshua up further until he felt the smooth edge of the table and stumbled slightly. Mason walked flush up to him and Joshua felt his cheeks starting to heat. Well no question about what he wanted then. Joshua chewed his lip, the eye contact he held was intense to say the least, he almost didn’t dare to break the silence,

          “Look-”

          Mason grabbed the boy’s hips and spun him around, pushing his shoulders down, and effectively bending him over the table and pressing against him. Joshua could see the faint outline of his reflection in the glass, and could feel Mason’s hard-on pressing against him. He tried not to think about it. His voice was breathy when he then spoke, “Um- Mason- stop… don’t-”

          “Hands above your head, Joshua. There’s a good boy.” Mason gave Joshua’s hair a light tug and ran his hands down the boy’s tense back.

          “No- Mason. I’m not doing this.” He said firmly through gritted teeth. He heard a clicking noise and felt the edge of something cold and sharp against the side of his neck.

          “What was that, couldn’t _quite_ hear you.” Mason said, voice light with amusement. Joshua put his hands above his head- he was already tenting his pants _Jesus Christ what is wrong with me_? Mason pulled back the collar of Joshua’s shirt and admired the neat, scabbing initials in Joshua’s back. He probably should have had a few stitches there. The silence and soft touches were not a comfort to Joshua, who maneuvered his knees so most of the material of his trousers was bunched around the front. His efforts were made redundant when Mason jerked him up by his collar and turned him over again, leaning his arms under Joshua’s and forcing him to lie back on the table, the knife disappeared for now. Joshua’s gaze was flickering between Mason’s eyes and his lips, something that didn’t pass Mason unnoticed. Mason wanted to seduce Joshua, to make him wanting again- he wanted to see the guilt he could make Joshua feel over _wanting_ him, the conflicted noises Joshua would make as he fucked him, letting himself be pushed further than he would ever allow himself to be otherwise, and unable to beg Mason to stop and lose the game. Anticipation was _delicious_.

 

Joshua found his breath coming in shorter pants and he avoided looking at the bulge in his pants- lying flat on the table with his legs lying limp he wasn’t exactly comfortable but he didn’t dare move. Mason was pressed against him stopping any potential movement anyway, and having him that close was slightly overstimulating- terrifying and intoxicating at once. What would Mason do if he refused from here? Joshua had no doubt Mason would kill him. Would he get away with it? Joshua had been jumpy the last few days so they would probably believe Verger if he said Joshua had run off. _Shit_. He couldn’t go through all this again.

          “My my.” Mason hummed in amusement. “Is that a candy bar in your pocket, or are you just _pleased to see me_.” He chuckled and kissed Joshua’s cheek. “I always prefer them _eager_ , makes for a much better game, don’t you think?”

          Joshua reddened and he looked up to the ceiling, Mason was tempted to land his mouth on the small lump of Joshua’s voice box, but decided to wind him up a little more first.

          “Nothing to say?” He waited for Joshua’s eyes to flicker to his and watched the piercing blue look send a small shiver down Joshua’s spine and up the back of his skull. “Come on now Joshua, don’t _bore_ me already, I’ve been thinking about you all day… waiting for the right moment to steal you away to me… you’re not going to let that effort go to _waste_ , are you?”

          Joshua swallowed slightly. His mind was racing. Mason had been thinking about him? When? The mental image of him being unable to work, or sitting at the table thinking about him made his whole body flush. _What was going on here?_ If the rules could just be made explicit he might understand, be able to play the game to his advantage...

          “I- uh…” it was a good start. “Last time was… I mean…” a flash of anger hit Joshua. Fuck this guy for winding him up like this, fuck him for acting as if he had no reason to be flustered, fuck him and his shit eating grin. _Fuck him_. “I’m fucking hard because you’re pressed up against me and I’m a little twisted so I fucking like it.” Mason’s chuckle sparked his irritation further, “I like most of what you do to me because I’m into it, but you can’t-”

          “Ah ah ah.” A gloved hand closed over Joshua’s mouth. “That’s enough, don’t ruin it now.” He let out an amused hum. “Hmm. Tell you what. If you’re a _good boy_ , I’ll get you a candy bar. How about that?” Joshua felt his fists bunch when Mason’s skin-crawling smile lit his face.

          “How about you go fuck yourself, I’m not your fucking whore.” He managed to communicate perfectly through Mason’s glove.

          “Oh no no... no that’s not what I was saying at all.” Mason moved closer and his free hand went through Joshua’s hair while his arms were still pinned to his sides. “Joshua, I’m going to _take care of you_. I know you _want_ me.” A hand stroked up Joshua’s thigh and his hips bucked. Now was the critical moment. He leaned forward, over Joshua, his lips a centimeter from Joshua’s ear and paused for effect “I _want_ you, too.” His voice came from his throat and the shiver went straight to Joshua’s hard on. “I could have any of the _kiddies_ in this whole camp and I’ve chosen _you_ … I want you because you will _let me_ do things, to you.” He could see the hairs on the back of Joshua’s neck standing on end. He was silent too, which was a good sign. “You will let me have my way with you- weather I want to _fuck_ your mouth dry or have you _begging_ at my lap you will submit to me _because_ you know, deep down, that _that’s how you like it_.” The softly spoken words were certainly having an effect on Joshua, his face hadn’t cooled from its blushes in quite some time and he wasn't so much breathing as panting. He let a moment of silence settle.

          Joshua felt confliction through his veins more thickly than blood. He knew there was a part of him that desperately wanted Mason. But then again he was just a kid; he wasn’t supposed to be able handle the things Mason was doing to him. He didn’t want the same sensation as he had felt last time, he was still rather tender down there...

          “I hear your mind working, _Joshua_. You’re a clever boy, aren’t you?” He cooed softly and Joshua felt awkwardly turned on by the flattery. It was that innocence bullshit thing again and it worked horrifically well. “You’re worried about what happened last time, hmm?” another run of his hand through Joshua’s hair, gently. “Well you liked that _really_ , didn’t you? _Joshua_? Once you _gave in_ to the pain it had you shooting harder than a _belt-fed motor_.” He chuckled softly. “Pretty quickly, too, as I remember.”

          _Might as well give him what he wants_ Joshua thought, defending his pride to the last when he knew damn well he was probably more turned on than he had ever been in his life. Mason had him almost achingly hard, and he hadn’t even touched him yet. He didn’t dare even blink as Mason held his eye contact for a moment, and then dipped to look at Joshua’s lips. Joshua self-consciously wetted his lips and swallowed before he decided to break the tension, but Mason pulled away when Joshua tried to lean in.

          “ _Joshua-_ I'm shocked- I’ve got to make sure this is _what you want_ …” He said with only the faintest note of sarcasm. Joshua made a frustrated noise at the back of his throat and glared at him.

 _Oh, glaring he’s feeling brave_ , Mason wanted to chuckle.

          “Verg- Mason- _fuck_.” He made a small scoffing noise. “First you spill all of that dirty shit, then you change your mind. What d’you-” _Fuck. That was it._ He wanted Joshua to beg. Not satisfied enough with twisting him so he could enjoy Mason’s abuse he wanted him to _ask_ for it?

          “Hmm? _Joshua_?...” Mason said in a sing-song voice, trailing his fingers through Joshua’s hair and down his nape. “Still nothing to say?”

          “You have me eager for it, that much is obvious.” Joshua said with a low growl.

          Mason didn’t look convinced. “Come on,” he drawled. “You can do _better_ than that.” He arched his eyebrow.

          Joshua rolled his hips slowly under Mason, rubbing against his hard on. “I _want_ you. I’m currently thinking about how much I want your lips on mine, I want your hand tugging in my hair, I want your hand- no fuck it I want your _mouth_ on my cock.” Joshua spoke breathlessly, slightly gleefully, like a child learning to swear, and when he arched to meet Mason’s mouth he wasn’t denied this time. He let out a small moan as his cautious movements became fervent kisses, keening against him, and without any shame doing so. Mason made a noise of encouragement, pulled away and ran his hand down Joshua’s face, resting his thumb against Joshua’s lips when he spoke,

          “I do _love it_ when you’re eager, Joshua.” He tilted his head, slightly, looking at him darkly. “But I love it even more when you’re bloody.”

          This time it was different. Mason let the sentence hang in the air. His aptitude for pigs was more instinctual than his father’s, if slightly less accurate- he could sense Joshua’s potential; he was the perfect student. If he could teach him about pain… _this one_ might actually _understand_. Joshua breathed in the word _bloody_ like a promise, his pupils dilated and he saw that a matching hunger was in Mason’s eyes.

          “Mmm, that got your attention, didn’t it?” Mason pressed a kiss against Joshua’s neck and could practically feel his pulse jumping.

           Joshua lay perfectly still. “What were you thinking?” _Am I actually having this conversation? Am I mad?_ He was painfully aware of the friction against Mason’s trousers and how _good_ it felt. This time felt different- these were different rules… a respect of some kind had been worked out.

          “I was thinking you could _really_ work a split lip. And the little whimpers of pain you make… are _enchanting_.” One of Mason’s hands closed over Joshua’s throat and his instinctual fear kicked in.

          “Uh- I’m not sure I…” doubt bloomed in his dark brown eyes.

          Mason chucked and shook his head, Joshua would see soon enough. “You like it when I use you- when I _hurt_ you, you just don’t want to admit it… ‘No no no you have to be a _good boy_ you can’t possibly _like_ what the nasty _twisted_ man does to you’… If I- _force_ you it takes responsibility off of you,” he blinked his eyes and exhaled, “then _you_ don’t have to question your own _thorough_ belief in your own morality.”

          Joshua knew he was right, but still clenched his jaw and frowned. In a way it made sense… he _had_ been turned on almost all the way through his last… _session_. Mason titled his head, narrowed his eyes and moved his jaw together in a way that made Joshua’s breath hitch.

          “I…” Joshua’s voiced choked in his throat. “You…”

          Mason ran a hand through his hair leaning up for a moment. “Sshh shh shh.” He smoothed the other hand down Joshua’s face. “You’re a good boy, Joshua.” The eyes Mason felt on him were wide and wanting. “I was far too clumsy with you last time, I didn’t _realize_ your… _potential_.” Joshua licked his lips. “So this time I’m going to teach you.”

          Joshua’s mouth twitched into a smirk. “You’re going to groom me into your own personal fuckboy? I’m only here for-”

          Mason slapped him. Drank in the shock and muted complaint on his face. “Ah ah no- feel the sting... _good_.”

          Joshua felt an initial burst of hot pride, but was also aware of the twitch between his legs. He breathed out slowly, wanting Mason to keep looking at him like that.

          “Do you understand?” Mason smoothed his hand over Joshua’s flaming cheek.

          “I...”

          Another slap. Harder this time. “Do you understand?”

          Joshua’s face felt like it was on fire, he inhaled sharply. Mason slapped the same side of his face three more times, starting to look rather bored with Joshua’s attempts to mask his discomfort. Tears welled in Joshua’s eyes as the inkling of understanding he had had were pushed away by the pain and that was all he could feel.

          “No, don’t fight the pain- _feel_ it.” Mason slapped him again. Joshua tried to understand. He shook his head.

          “I can’t I can’t- it _hurts_ \- you-” Joshua swore when the hand hit his mouth and his lip burst again. “ _Fuck_! Stop!” Mason kept his hand raised and tutted slightly.

          “You can do _better than that_.” Mason hummed calmly. He pushed his hand up Joshua’s shirt and thumbed his nipple absently. Joshua’s interest was re-kindled. He leaned in and kissed his neck, sucking the skin. Joshua moaned and rolled his hips up. If he could make the link between hurt and hot more apparent maybe Joshua would see quicker, and with a less than formal training ground… Mason would have to lead him hand-to-nose through it. Some of Mason’s pigs had to be trained, for other purposes, in a similar way. Mason considered for a moment. His pigs were easier to train, but Joshua’s squealing was more amusing.

          “Pay _attention_ , Joshua.” Mason said against the boy’s neck, rubbing circles under his shirt. He bit into the red mark he’d made and Joshua bucked, hesitating before he let his hand rest on the back of Mason’s neck. Mason pushed up onto his elbows, and Joshua shifted a little, aware of the cramp setting in on his underside. Mason hiked up Joshua’s shirt with a finger and put his mouth to Joshua’s chest to rub circles with his tongue this time. Joshua found his hand raking up the back of Mason’s hair, _doubt he’d mind it getting more mussed anyway_ , and Mason reached up and squeezed Joshua’s neck. Joshua didn’t fight it, but wiggled slightly as he ran out of breath, arching up against Mason’s hand. Mason’s free hand worked on opening Joshua’s trousers and with a few firm hand movements it was like the pain had gone. Or the pain was part of the pleasure, Joshua wasn’t sure. His face had gone an interesting red colour. He still bucked into Mason’s hand, making it harder to breathe, _like one of those rats that pushes the pleasure button until it dies,_ Mason thought.

          “ _Better._ ” Mason chuckled and he kissed Joshua’s chest. “You’re learning.” Joshua whined and Mason let go. “Do you see what I’m trying to teach you?” He leaned up, hands either side of Joshua’s face.

          Joshua looked at Mason for a moment, could see the lecture forming on his lips- a flash of impatience, “Less words.” He grabbed Mason’s face and pulled him down, pressing their mouths together as long as he dared, he nipped Mason’s bottom lip and ran his hands down the familiarly expensive feeling waistcoat over Mason’s chest and wondered why he was still dressed. Mason held Joshua’s face between his hands and pushed his head against the glass in a none-too-gentle way.

          “Getting impatient?” Mason said between kisses.

          “The analytical stuff only gets you so far… you ever heard of ‘show not tell’?” Joshua said with only a half-faked irritation.

          “Hmm…” Mason thought for an extortionately long time with Joshua still at his lips, “I _suppose_ … teaching is most effective during practical work.” Joshua saw Mason's predatory grin flash before his hands smoothed down to undo Mason’s buttons. Mason caught Joshua’s wrist. “Ah ah ah. _I’m_ teaching _you_.” He stood back from the table and pulled Joshua up with him. This official business was much more manageable, now Joshua had some idea what was going on.

          Mason grabbed a fistful of Joshua’s hair and jerked his head back, Joshua inhaled sharply and let Mason turn him around and bend him over the glass table, his palms making greasy marks on its spotless surface. Mason wasted no time in pulling Joshua’s trousers and pants to his ankles, Joshua only hesitating for half a moment. He looked sore, Mason thought, he should probably be gentler with him if he didn’t want Joshua to end up needing stitches. He sighed. _Prep it is then_. He bit the fingertip of his left glove and pulled it off, sucked his finger a healthy amount and rubbed circles with his free hand into the tense muscles of Joshua’s lower back.

          “If you don’t relax, I won’t be _able_ to push in without _tearing_ you.” Mason hummed, Joshua considered asking for a more comforting tone as he let himself be rubbed into submission by Mason’s surprisingly soothing hands. Middle finger first, Mason pushed into him and Joshua did his best to relax around the finger, still feeling a residual soreness. He hissed in pain as Mason pushed further but that stopped as he felt a wobbling sensation in his thighs when Mason curled his finger.

          “ _Shit_.” Joshua mumbled and pressed the side of his face against the cool glass, breath fogging it, Mason now working two fingers in and thrusting them back and forth, twisting when he felt Joshua was ready. Joshua could still feel the burn from a few nights ago, though the sticky scabbing had stopped, but with every push in there was a moment when Mason’s brushed passed something that felt incredible. He could feel the cold of the glass against his cock as he heard the sound of a zip-fly. Mason pushed against Joshua’s ass and then changed his mind.

          “Roll over.” He said with a click of his tongue and a small giggle. Joshua pushed himself up and sat on the table, looking up at Mason expectantly, trying not to swing his legs as he couldn’t quite reach the floor with his feet. Mason pushed Joshua back, forcing his knees wide as Mason’s legs pushed against the trousers still wrapped around Joshua’s ankles. With Mason pressed against him thusly he could no longer move his legs. Both were still almost fully dressed.

          “I’m afraid, Joshua,” he paused to let a wave of amusement wash over him, “that this is going to hurt. A _lot_.” Mason tilted his head and Joshua shrugged slightly. _We’ve come this far, haven’t we?_

          Mason started to push in, with his hand on Joshua’s neck, thumb rubbing the spot Joshua always bucked his hips at, when he felt a slight strain of the material of his coat under his arms- tearing his new coat wouldn’t do- it was beyond expensive. Mason was going to need his flexibility. He quickly shrugged it off, Joshua had sort of frozen, and pushed in firmly when he’d done, not leaving breathing room for Joshua to overthink things. Joshua cried out sharply as he felt a few small stabs of pain, but with the touch of a leather glove at the back of his head and the now gloveless hand on his neck, he couldn’t complain much. Joshua’s head rocked back and he let out a small noise to every few of Mason’s thrusts, finding that if he remained still and didn’t resist Mason’s access, the pain was bearable. Mason shifted his hips and angled his thrusts upwards and now pleasure started to settle through Joshua’s stomach.

          “Fuck- Mason- unh.” Joshua spoke breathily, one arm gripping Mason’s shoulder and the other travelling down to take care of himself. Mason pinned the travelling hand above Joshua’s head and pulled his shirt up to stuff in Joshua’s mouth, gagging him, Joshua moaned appreciatively.

          “You see, now, Joshua. You like it when I treat you _roughly_. The _aching_ ,” a sharp thrust, a pinch on his nipple and the sound of an indignant noise through Joshua’s shirt material, “emphasizes the _desire_.” Something slower, Mason sucked gently on Joshua’s neck and Joshua arched up. Joshua wasn’t entirely sure what the fuck he was doing here, what the emotional fallout would be or what was going on between him and Mason but he knew what turned him on and even if this was on the more _intense_ side, it was certainly piquing his interest.

          This time when Mason slapped him, it was a small but sharp sting and Joshua came back to where he was. “Do I have your attention?” the gloved hand came to the top of Joshua’s hair and rooted his head firmly on the table, banging it enough to make pain flare behind Joshua’s eyes.

          Joshua let out a vaguely garbled noise before he remembered his gag. Mason didn’t seem to care. He nodded and watched the older man intently, thinking about how much he enjoyed the taste of violence when Mason had finished making out with him. Mason cocked his head.

          “You _want_ something, don’t you?” He used a finger to relieve Joshua of his gag, rolling his hips lazily, minorly satisfied with the small smears of blood coming from where they were joined, Joshua hadn’t noticed. “Tell me what you want.”

          Joshua’s voice sounded surprisingly hoarse. “I want your mouth on mine,” to put it as simply as it could be stated. His now unpinned hand wandered to lightly touch Mason’s lips, and Mason paused a moment before he complied. Joshua was astounded by the force with which he was being kissed _is the guy going for my tonsils?_  As his breathing became more erratic, Mason picked up the pace with his hips, each stab of pain when he thrust was soothed or _exited_ or _something_ by the hot and heavy meetings of lips. Joshua had his hands on Mason’s cheeks and pulled him flush, and when his bursts of breath, as he could get them, fogged up Mason’s glasses neither of them noticed.

 

The door at the other end of the kitchen opened. Joshua hadn’t noticed another door. Margot walked through, brushing a lose strand of hair behind her ear.

          “Mason I’m getting food, you better-” Margot paused and spluttered slightly. “Um.”

          Joshua panicked, jerked himself away from Mason and tried to pull his trousers up, blushing bright red and stuttering nervously.

          “Uh- I was just- Um-” he resorted to trying to calm his heaving chest- Mason pushed his hands away and held him still, and Joshua tried to shift his hips, to hide the obvious. Mason beamed over to his sister.

          “Good morning, Margot. Feeling better after your morning _ride_?” He asked nonchalantly, Joshua very deliberately looking away.

          Margot looked at Joshua for a moment, and registered the marks on his neck, “I don’t want to know what you’re doing to him, Mason,” she took a breath,  “but you should probably be careful not to leave any incriminating evidence on him if you don’t want another lawsuit.” Her gaze remained at eye level.

          “That shouldn’t be a problem…” Mason grinned widely, apparently he had no problems being exposed in front of his sister. “You’re welcome to join me,” he muffled the protests from the boy beneath him, “been a while since we-”

          “No.” Margot said immediately and turned on her heel. “I don’t do boys. Or you.” She said as she walked away, more for Joshua’s benefit, she controlled her breathing carefully and slammed the door behind her. Mason shrugged and turned back to Joshua. “Margot gets _stage fright_ before she performs in front of new people. She’s a lot like her horse… you have to train her before she’s _ready_.” 

          Joshua blinked at him, unsure how to process this new information, questions forming in his head. _Did that mean he and his sister had…Holy shit_.

          Mason bit into Joshua’s neck to regain his attention. It worked. “Where were we?”

          Joshua pushed Margot far from his mind. “Ah- do that again.” He turned his head to give Mason better access and Mason chuckled against the skin.

          “Like that do we?” He kissed along Joshua’s jaw and to his ear, starting to thrust into him again. Joshua let out a small keening noise as Mason bit into his neck, moving to the hollow above his collarbones, digging his fingernails into the back of Joshua’s scalp.

          “Yeah- _Mason_ , fuck.” he started to buck his hips in time to Mason’s thrusts, small panting noises and whimpers emerging from his lips as Mason decorated his neck and chest with red sucker marks and purple bites.

          “Noisy little thing, aren’t you?” Mason giggled and Joshua nodded and released another small whining noise. Mason moved his mouth to Joshua’s lips, swallowing all the little noises Joshua made, lapping up the blood when he bit the already scabbing split, and letting Joshua fuck himself onto him, occasionally making a little noise of approval. Joshua’s eyes opened and he pulled away for a moment, and there was something in Joshua’s smirk that suggested mischief.

          This was not missed by Mason. “What _are_ you thinking? _That_ little desire is something we _have_ to explore.” He tilted his head.

          Joshua smiled and ran his hand up Mason’s chest as his other hand groped inelegantly for the discarded coat. Mason watched with interest and when Joshua’s hand reappeared his eyes sparkled.

          “ _Good boy_.” Mason breathed and Joshua felt prickles of heat up the back of his spine. Mason took a firm grip on the boy’s neck and began to fuck him hard onto the table, Joshua took a moment to let out a few low moans and raised the knife and his hand in front of Mason’s face. He waited for Mason’s attention to be solely on his hand, and didn’t have to wait long. Mason flickered his glance once to Joshua’s face. Joshua opened his palm and pointed the blade into it, feeling a spike of adrenaline as it pierced his skin and he let out a gasp of pain. _How was this so easy in the movies?_ He drew the knife across as slowly as he could bear, letting out noises of pain through clenched teeth. Mason's breath hitched as he watched Joshua’s fierce look of concentration, sweat shining on his forehead, and the slit skin started to ooze red. _Or bleed red_ , Mason supposed. Joshua hissed and whimpered, looking at the mess on his hand, then at Mason. He felt his wrist grabbed. Mason was looking at him with his blue eyes so sharp they were nearly as cutting as the blade Joshua tossed to the side, maintaining eye contact as Mason put his mouth to the wound, lips coming away shiny with blood. Joshua watched the red seep over his hand, to his fingers, and knew it was going to sting like a son-of-a-bitch very soon. He tilted his head and watched the blood trickle onto the table, before smirking slightly as an idea formed, and he pushed two of his fingers into Mason’s mouth.

           Surprisingly Mason was receptive, and let Joshua fuck his mouth with his hand while he thrust harder, gripping Joshua’s hips for balance and at the same time smoothing his tongue around the blood, and relishing the streaks that were smearing over his chin. The moment passed and Mason pulled Joshua’s fingers out of his mouth and firmly squeezed his own palm against Joshua's, watching drops fall onto Joshua’s shirt. He tasted the metallic tang of blood, and cupped Joshua’s face, biting and kissing him with a renewed energy- Joshua’s hand smeared blood all over Mason’s cheek, which spilt onto the expensive suit shirt, he heard a small groaning noise from the back of Mason’s throat and locked eyes with him, blinking the moment in like a photograph in his memory- how Mason swallowed slightly and shut his eyes when he came, his chest heaved and he breathed in once quickly and then out slowly, face now pressed into Joshua’s neck as he supported himself on his palms, rutting into Joshua to ride through it and mouthing against his neck, moaning softly. Joshua combed his bloody hand through Mason’s hair, noticed that he’d splattered some on the frame of Mason’s glasses, kissed his shoulder and hoped he wasn’t going to be left for a cold shower.

          “Mmm that was _fantastic_ , Joshua.” Mason lifted his head with a wry smirk and a kiss on the jaw as he pulled out, holding Joshua’s head against the glass table top now smeared with blood and sweat. He picked up the knife and pressed it against Joshua’s neck. Joshua’s breathing hitched and a moment passed. “I _suppose_ I ought to return the favor.”

          Joshua nodded and tried not to swallow too hard against the blade. “Please.”

          “I’m getting _manners_ … you must be _desperate_ …” Mason chucked again and tilted his head when he saw the look on Joshua’s face, who was just thinking that _Mason’s hair looked even more attractive damp with sweat and blood._

          “See something you like?” He mused.

          “You look in your element drenched in body fluids.” Joshua mused back.

          “Mhm.” Mason hummed in amusement, smirk on his face, and his still gloved hand dipped to Joshua’s hard-on while the other pressed the knife more firmly into Joshua’s neck. Joshua groaned appreciatively but could do little else without splitting his skin. Mason moved his hand faster and with embarrassingly little stimulation Joshua left a sticky mess all over Mason’s glove, gasping and arching too hard against the blade so it his skin parted under it, leaving a small, thin, mark, which was covered by Mason’s mouth as Joshua finished moaning and panting.

          “Well… that was…” Joshua felt hot pain seeping into his hand, the surprisingly sharp pain from the nick on his neck, the cramp in his shoulders and legs from being suspended so long, and felt entirely… satisfied. If a little guilty and a little fucked up.

          “Quite.” Mason stood back from the table and did his trousers back up, Joshua followed his example and stood, pulling his trousers up around his shaky knees. He needed a shower. And a first aid kit.

          Joshua spoke with a nonchelant tone, “So… what happens now?” he added a casual shrug for good measure, lest Mason get the wrong idea.

          “Go to Margot and get your hand looked at, I’m _afraid_ I’d only make it _worse_ ,” a flash of teeth, “and I’ll collect you the next time I need you.” He pulled his other glove off and shrugged at the state of it, shoved both into the coat pocket and folded the coat under his arm.

          Joshua arched an eyebrow, feeling brave, and crossed his arms. “No.”

          “No?” Mason looked at him sharply, “No _what_?”

          “This isn’t last time; this isn’t some one-night-stand and I’ve proven myself better than your _plaything_. You enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, and if you _want_ to do it again I have some terms and conditions…” this could have been the most ballsy move Joshua had ever taken, “seeing as I’m equally as fucked up as you I should get that much, shouldn’t I?”

          Mason rolled his eyes and said in fairly petulant and bored tone of voice, “How much do you want?”

          Joshua paused, “What?” and wrinkled his nose. “You can keep your money, I’m not a rent boy…I just mean that I have some… new rules for our game.”

          Mason clicked his tongue. _That could be interesting._ He waited a moment and arched an eyebrow. “Name your rules then.” He fiddled with his gold signet ring, absently, as he did when he was scheming.

          Joshua took a breath. “One: while I’m here you don’t mess with any of the other kids- they aren’t up for it and we barely have enough to cover therapy bills as it is,” he ignored the slight taste of jealousy at the thought of Mason’s interest in another, “two: I want recovery time. My asshole throbs like nobody’s business and unless you want me hospitalized remember I’m not superman.” Mason stayed silent. “Three: Tell or show me what you’re doing to me before you do it so I can at least prepare myself… and absolutely no sounding, but other than that-”

          Mason let out a surprised chuckle and considered. “You do drive a _hard_ bargain… what’s to stop me doing what I want anyway?” He leaned in close, Joshua resisted the urge to flinch.

          “Well, you’ve seen how fun I can be when I comply completely… so you might want to think about playing by my rules…” Joshua arched an eyebrow and folded his arms, _truce?_

          Mason nodded slightly. “I think I can do that for the next week… it’s something _new_ , something I’ve never tried before…” he turned and sauntered away, pausing at the door as he undid the lock, “And I _love_ trying new things.” The door shut ominously behind him. _Drama queen_. Joshua was left with a sticky mess and a ruined shirt.

 

Now he was alone the pain spread over his body; his hand was starting to sting a lot more- the cut looked deep, there was a wide valley in the middle which seeped when Joshua opened his palm.

          “Ow. Ow ow ow.” Joshua clutched his hand. Where was the first aid- Margot. “Shit.” He’d have to go find her… she’d left out of the door tucked away in the corner of the room.

          He walked through the small wooden door at the right end of the kitchen, and _of course_ the corridor would be dark. He tried to stop the blood dripping onto the carpet by cupping it under his other hand, to limited success. He padded down the corridor and found himself with options; step forwards and outside the door to the stables, hairpin left and go up the stairs, or turn left into another room… Margot seemed to go riding a lot… he’d start there, the house was giving him the creeps.

          He walked through to a room that smelt strongly of horse and hay, with expensive wooden and glass décor and there was Margot, brushing a sleek black horse. This was awkward- _shit_. He cleared his throat, wondering how best to start the conversation,

          “What do you want, Mason?” Margot didn’t turn her head.

          “No- um, it’s Joshua.” Joshua said and carefully avoided eye contact when Margot turned.

          “Oh. What do _you_ want?” She tilted her head in a very similar way to her brother. Joshua could sense an underlying sympathy in her tone. Should he address that?  

          “Um” he showed her his hand. “I was wondering if you could maybe show me-”

          “Follow me.” Margot said bluntly, securing her horse in its stall and walked past him back into the house. Joshua swallowed and followed her. _Alright then._

          He was lead back through the room he hadn’t bothered to check- it was a living room of some kind, white and open, draped and decorated in and with things Joshua wouldn’t be able to afford if he saved up his whole life- little glass (or crystal) figurines, expensive rugs which Joshua carefully stepped around and paintings of country houses that looked like originals. There was a small polished oak door at the end of the room, which looked newer than the baroquian building. He could hardly believe this was one of the smaller buildings of the Verger complex.

          “Mason was kind enough to decorate my house for me, once he’d made sure I was staying.” Margot said slowly, opening the door to another small bathroom, more spacious and light blue in colour- it matched the navy blue of the living room. “He likes lavish things.” Now Joshua saw why Margot didn’t suit this house. It wasn’t really hers.

          “He also likes ruining simple things.” Margot said, looking steadily at Joshua.

          “Uh- listen…about what you saw…” Joshua started awkwardly, watching Margot’s hands as she pulled out a heavily stocked first aid kit from under the sink and undid the plastic catches.

          “My brother’s affairs are none of my business.” Margot said bluntly. “More importantly they aren’t anything I want to hear about.” She selected some wipes and a small bandage. “Give me your hand.”

          Joshua let her clean his wound, trying not to wince at the sting of the alcohol, it seemed pointless to complain now. “Yeah… um, I’m sorry you had to see that… it’s uh, complicated I guess.” Joshua didn’t want her to think he was some sort of masochist freak. _But you are sort of a masochist freak_ , his mind unhelpfully reminded him. “I was just… I dunno- it’s just him- he, uh-”

          “I understand.” Margot said with more sincerity than she’d said every other word Joshua had heard.

          “You… do?” he thought back to what Mason had said, _“it’s been a while since we”…_ _oh God_.

          “Yes.” Margot said quickly, mask back up. She finished wrapping Joshua’s hand and opened another wipe for the small wound on his neck, _if Joshua knew where that knife had been…_ “Just, don’t take as long as I did to learn. What he’s doing to you… what you’re letting him do… it eats your soul away.” Joshua might have snorted at the sentiment if it weren’t for the dead look in Margot’s eyes. “Don’t wait until it’s too late to get out. It’s not the pain… anyone can be a masochist, it’s the lack of empathy and care you get from Mason, and the danger of what you’re doing is what’s damaging. It’s _Mason_ that’s addictive.” Joshua nodded slightly and felt a shiver when Margot touched the sodden cotton to his neck. He knew he was in trouble… but he was going away in a week or so, so it wasn’t like this would become a… _relationship_.

          “Was he your first?” Margot asked softly.

          Joshua paused and nodded slowly.

          Margot put a large plaster over Joshua’s neck. “That was what I was worried about. He’s not a good template for future relationships.”

          “I know.” Joshua sighed. “I just… it’s… you know.”

          Margot nodded. “Just be ready for him to get bored with you. I only amuse him because I resent him. You’re compliant- he’ll spit you out and leave you the second something else captures his attention.”

          Joshua tried not to feel the twist in his gut. “That might not be a bad thing.”

          “Not for you, anyway.” She paused and looked at him. “Any other injuries I should know about?”

          “Nothing physical at least.” Joshua shrugged and smiled cautiously at her, Margot offered a twisted smile of her own.

          “You should get back to camp, they will have noticed you’re missing and don’t think Mason will cover for you… unless he’s covering for himself.”

          Joshua nodded. “Yeah. Thank you for this.” He added. “And sorry again for what you saw.”

          Margot looked serious for an instant and in a moment that surprised both of them she leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “Take care of yourself, Joshua.” She said with a small smile and smoothed her fingers through his fringe. Joshua swore he could smell his mother's perfume for a second.

          “Thank you. I’ll try to.” He stood from his position leaning against the counter and walked out, farewell’s seeming redundant, he had a feeling he’d be seeing her again soon anyway.

 

When he got back to camp to the worried shouting of Miss Hawthorn he simply pointed to his bandaged hand, said he’d slipped and fallen and cut his hand open, and that Miss Verger, who had helped him bandage it up, had been so caught up in dealing with it she’d forgotten to notify someone. Miss Hawthorne could tell something was off but also heard a strong voice at the back of her head advising her to stay out of it. She had other children to worry about anyway, and sent Joshua to the bunker without dinner as punishment for disappearing. Joshua gladly returned, feeling spent for the day, and had the first shower without fear or self-disgust for days, a chair carefully propped against the door. It was awkward to wash and dress one handed, his injured hand was cramping like a motherfucker and it stung like a bitch too. He was exhausted.

          He lay on his bed, feeling the soreness of his muscles and the new and old wounds he’d gotten, and felt strangely stated after his after-care session with Margot- had that been Mason’s intention? _Unlikely_. He felt very used, slightly guilty and ultimately satisfied- he tried to focus on that feeling. Yes he may have fallen right back into Mason’s trap, but it was different now. He was there on his own terms. Besides it was only for a week more, how much damage could he do? _A lot,_  replied his mind as he drifted into semi-consciousness.

His thoughts turned to his parents for the first time in a long time, and he missed his mother for the first time since the night after he’d been taken away. He wondered what she would think of his choices. She’d be proud he was taking care of Miles, and worried about his safety. _It’s ok mom, I’m ok. I can take care of myself… I miss you_ , he thought, feeling childish for praying to his mother. It wasn’t long before he slipped into sleep with a few blurred thoughts and blank impressions.

 

When Miles returned from evening play he tried to shake his brother awake but he was out cold. He noticed the bandage, the plaster and the bruises and marks on Joshua’s neck. He bit his lip. That wasn’t any type of fight marks he’d seen. Something was up with his brother- someone was hurting him. _Why?_ He would have to find out.

Miles didn’t sleep easily that night; he was haunted by images of his older brother crying out in pain from some shadowy figure.

 

Joshua had a peaceful sleep surrounded by a pleasant glow, and untroubled by any dreams at all.


	3. This Little Piggy Had Roast Pork

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies, it's been a while, UCAS has been firmly up my ass, but things should become more regular, this one is shorter because it works as a segway, enjoy...

…

 

Joshua had found out a few days ago that the second floor of the shower block wasn’t actually boarded up, but just about accessible if you climbed the drain pipe and forced the window. The room wasn’t all that interesting- cleaning product and broken chairs, but it was a place he could go to find some privacy. He was currently sitting in the dark, smoking a cigarette and reflecting; Joshua was going home tomorrow, and he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that. He’d already seen Mason for the last time too, (it had been agreed that there wouldn’t be time for Joshua to sneak away before they left in the morning). He inhaled. Thought. Reminisced over the past week and a half that had happened; he’d been bent over or forced to his knees in almost every secluded spot over the complex, and he’d been suspended, gagged and/ or restrained more times than he could count… guess knot-tying was one of Mason’s favourite tricks. It wasn’t o.k- not really- Mason was taking utter advantage of both Joshua’s age and experience, and to Joshua’s credit he was well aware of that… but no matter how hard he’d been pushed he’d always found himself wanting, and he’d rarely been able to form thoughts countering the irresistible attraction he felt when Mason’s hands or mouth were touching him. But that was all over now- all but the very most recent scars, bruises and wounds had healed and he was resigned to making the hour upon hour long trip back to The House only slightly sore. He stubbed his smoke and sat for a moment. _Fuck it_ \- it was the last night. He pushed up to his feet and pulled another smoke from his pack. This time he decided to lean out of the window and admire the night sky as he flicked his lighter, savoring the taste when he inhaled to try and make it last longer…

 

_Joshua was walking with a slightly wider gait than he might have an hour previously, not that it was noticed by any of the others. Miss Hawthorne intended on keeping an eye on the boy ever since he had returned with a bandaged hand the day before, but to her relief Joshua seemed to be much more settled- whatever had been bothering him seemed to have disappeared almost overnight._

_Joshua assumed it would be another few days before Mason wanted him again… he couldn’t have been more wrong. He was sent on a simple collection task- something for the activities, a clipboard or something. It didn’t matter what exactly because when Joshua went inside the storeroom and reached up for whatever it was he was supposed to be getting Mason had him pressed against the wall with his pants down before Joshua even registered that he was in the room.  After a while Mason tired of pushing into Joshua from behind, biting his neck and pinning his arms by either side of his head to keep him still, and lifted and carried him onto the top of the counter, bending him over that instead and anchoring his hand in Joshua’s hair. Joshua had to pursue his own climax with the use of his hand, Mason warning him “if he wanted to cum he better do it himself… and fast.”_

_Joshua limped back to the football match taking place and neither his ruffled appearance or the time he’d taken to return empty handed was mentioned; Sweat-Patches didn’t appear to notice he’d gone, although Joshua made a note to tell Mason to stop the staff undressing him with their eyes quite so obviously- the way he was being looked at was a little unnerving…_

Joshua chuckled at that little memory- that had been one of the more tame experiences of his with Mason. The fact he considered a dirty quick-one in a shed ‘tame’ probably said something about how he’d changed. Joshua took another drag and ran a hand through his hair, shrugging to himself. _Oh well_. Besides, that day had been interesting in that it had been the only day after the agreement Mason found only one time in a twenty-four hours slot to use and abuse him. Youthful virility be damned, Joshua had crawled into his camp bed at night beyond exhausted- he hadn’t previously thought it possible for your dick to _ache_ from too much use, but after a few days even the idea of masturbation made Joshua wince…

 

_Joshua was careful not to disappear too obviously, and fortunately Mason seemed to have some sense of what the word ‘subtlety’ meant. Mason would appear; either walking along the activities the children were taking part in or leaning against a wall where the group passed and Joshua would obediently follow to wherever and whatever it was that Mason had planned to do with him. Or one of the staff would send Joshua off on a task (Miss Hawthorne was happy to see them keeping him occupied) and Mason would be waiting for him there._

_Subsequently Joshua had to stop going to the bathroom on his own if he actually needed the toilet- especially in the evening- because somehow Mason would always manage to interrupt him, even if the lights were left off, or Joshua avoided the watchful eye of the night guard. On those occasions Mason would usually have to drag Joshua out and fuck him on the grass, less the sounds echoing off the titled walls attract unwanted attention…_

_There were only a few places around the site Mason hadn’t bent Joshua over. When Mason had learnt Joshua wasn’t a fan of voyeurism if he was on the receiving end of it, he’d also developed the game of how close he could get to Margot or one of the clued-in staff members before Joshua would have to be gagged to quieten the complaints. Unfortunately for Margot, Mason wasn’t very good at risk games and Margot wound-up with more than an eyeful of Joshua a number of times. Considering she was usually in charge of cleaning Joshua up afterwards this lead to increasingly awkward conversations, and increasingly disturbing dreams for Joshua._

_And the injuries. Joshua developed near permanent; bruises on his knees, scratches on his back (Mason was inclined to scrabble like a startled rabbit if Joshua bit a certain point of his neck- needless to say Mason had a permanent hickey at this location), lovebites on a few discrete points on his neck, and the rest spread evenly over his chest, stomach, shoulders, back, thighs, and on one amusing occasion, his ass. This had been more amusing for Mason than it had been for Joshua. Joshua had done his worst in turn, and Mason was equally covered- Joshua tending to be a little more likely to use his nails than his teeth…_

Joshua snorted, coming back to the present and tracing a finger over his neck at the point of the very obvious hickey he’d left in a very visible spot of Mason’s neck, and as per Margot’s request, on the day before an ‘important meet and greet’ with various associates of Verger Industries. Joshua figured it was the least he could do to repay her for… well, everything. Mason had been very unimpressed to come down from orgasm to see Joshua’s work, and Joshua had been justly punished for it (a firm spanking _and_ he hadn’t been allowed to cum for the rest of the day- the latter part being the more torturous as his body had by now adapted to the regular exerts of energy Mason used up). But it had been worth it as Joshua had learnt how utterly ridiculous (and vaguely adorable) Mason looked in a scarf. Now, thinking of that reminded him of…

 

_Joshua was lying in Mason’s bed- he’d have to return to camp soon, but for now he was enjoying the sound of slowing breath, the feeling of his cheeks cooling, and the ache from the evening’s activities starting to set in as his body tried to force him to black out there and then. Mason lay next to him, hands folded behind his head, glasses still on, and Joshua watched him for a second before Mason came back to himself and noticed Joshua lying on his side looking at him, eyes wide and innocent._

_“See something you like?” He tilted his head, playful smile on his face._

_“Maybe.”_

_Mason chuckled and pulled Joshua in for a deep kiss, and for a moment Joshua was concerned he was ready to go at it again, before Mason broke off, “Cheeky, cheeky boy.”_

_“That’s the way you like me.” Joshua responded happily._

_“Oh I don’t know, I quite like you bound and pleading too.” Mason drew Joshua closer and held him to his chest._

_“But it’s more socially acceptable for you to pinch my cheek and call me ‘cheeky boy’. Let’s try and pretend to be slightly normal here for once.” Joshua mused,_

_“You think roleplaying me being your grandpa is more normal than perfectly healthy BDSM?”_

_Joshua snorted and muttered “GILF”, giggling to himself as a smirk grew across Mason’s face._

_Mason lowered his tone to a mock-seductive growl, “Well if that’s what you’re into, you should have just said-” he put on the voice of an old (and bizarrely southern) man, and Joshua started giggling again, “Back in my day incest was as regular as a game of monopoly-”_

_“Fun for all the family?” Joshua managed to gasp through the peals of laughter coming from his lips- and that set Mason off and they were both cackling like hyenas for a good few minutes, gasping for air and clutching each other every time Mason said ‘back in my day’ in his scratchy voice or Joshua said ‘golly gosh’ like a eight year old from a 1940’s pop commercial- it took a while for them to settle down again._

_“How many times has Margot had to hear you say that one?” Joshua was laughing from shock factor at this stage- he’d just cum three times and boundaries didn’t seem real anymore._

_Mason managed to hold an almost straight face for a few seconds, faking thought, “Hm… maybe seven or eight… today, that is” he wheezed out, cackling again- he didn’t seem physically able to contain his laughter when the impulse seized him. Joshua pictured Margot’s deadpan reaction to Mason’s excited pun, no doubt said with the same enthusiasm each time it was repeated, and he was off clutching his stomach with laughter again..._

Joshua shook his head- that had been a very funny evening at the time, but it seemed more than a little macabre now, considering the subject topic. Maybe he was a little fucked up. Mason certainly tended to bring that side of himself out of its shell, which wasn’t surprising at all, really.

By the end of the first week Joshua could almost cum on command- and when Mason gave him a certain look… well…

_There had been one time when Mason hadn’t touched Joshua at all- he’d brought him without so much as an arm around his shoulders back to the mansion and had remained curiously quiet when pushing Joshua in the direction of the bedroom, sitting back on the bed and commanding Joshua to strip._

_Joshua complied and found himself a little self-conscious to be completely exposed in complete illumination, especially with the feral look Mason was giving him. Mason summoned Joshua forward by crooking two of his fingers and instructed him to kneel in front of him on the bed._

_“Put on a show for me.”_

_Joshua hesitated, “What? What do you want me to do, exactly?”_

_Mason shrugged. “Show me how you jack off- as if I’m not in the room.”_

_Well Mason had succeeded in making Joshua as uncomfortable as possible. He shut his eyes and tried to focus on something else as he awkwardly moved his wrist. Most of the images he conjured were Mason, so he managed to move into his own headspace just finding something else to think about. He stopped biting his lip and made a small groaning noise as he started to enjoy himself, pushing his surroundings out of his mind… it was only as he felt heat begin to spread through his stomach and thighs and he knew he was close he opened his eyes. He saw Mason’s blue eyes locked and focused entirely on him- hard in his pants but too fixated to do anything about it and when that same look became eye contact, it burnt itself into Joshua’s memory and Joshua came, louder than he ever had by his own hand before, mouthing Mason’s name softly when he was done. Mason had watched with an intensity previously only known to brain surgeons and bomb technicians, and broke the moment a few seconds later when his self-control snapped and he didn’t even let Joshua get his breath back before he had him pushed onto his hands and knees and was pressing every part of his body possible against Joshua's to bring his own climax quickly..._

That had been an interesting night. They’d experimented with mirrors a few times afterwards too, but it hadn’t quite matched the particular sensitivity of that moment.

Of course, it hadn’t all been fucking and fucking around…

 

_“What the fuck would you know about loyalty- the closest you’ve come to caring about family is fucking your sister.” Joshua snapped, moving to pull his pants on, Mason had made one too many comments about his little brother, and when he’d suggested Joshua only cared because he felt like he had to it had rubbed Joshua up the wrong way a little too much,_

_“My my Joshua, we are getting very upset about this- feeling an element of truth in the sharp sting of my words?” Mason easily rose to the bait, zipping his fly and giving Joshua a smug look._

_“Fuck you! You’re not right about everything you know.” Fully dressed now, Joshua straightened up and when Mason tried to block his path he shoved his shoulder and pushed past. Mason halted him with a glance,_

_“Getting very aggressive, **Joshua** , but you’re the one that’s creating all of the hurt- you don’t really want to piss me off, do you? You know that would be a bad idea. And believe me when I say… I am always right. I-”_

_“You know when you’re wrong? You’re wrong when all you do is mock me for my basic human emotions, and yet you think it’s ok to fuck little children! It’s not ok- and you’re fucked up **and** wrong!” Joshua nearly stamped his foot he was so angry, aggression seeping from him in waves,_

_“Just as fucked up and wrong as you are for enjoying an older man fucking you, hmm?” Mason said calmly, backing Joshua into a corner as a further stream of expletive insults poured from his mouth. Mason pushed forward and pressed a kiss to Joshua’s lips, amused to see what he would do._

_“Fuck you!” Came the immediate response, Joshua pushing at Mason’s chest to make him go away but this time when Mason leaned in again he was met with a much more hesitant, “fuck you.” And then again, Mason cupped Joshua’s cheeks and Joshua mumbled the phrase with much less heated anger and rolled his eyes._

_Mason’s lip twitched into a smirk, “Now- are you finished or do you want to have angry sex? It works wonders as a calorie-burner, you know...”_

Ok so a lot of it was fucking and fucking around. Still.

          Joshua had drifted off for so long the cigarette had burnt itself to the filter, and Joshua flicked the useless thing away, pulling another from the copious supply he kept on him at all times- seeing as he hadn’t really smoked the last one he figured he was owed compensation. Margot had caught him smoking once…

 

_Mason didn’t much care what Joshua did to himself, and would often participate if Joshua suggested a post-sex smoke, but Margot had never seemed like the self-destructive sort. Nevertheless, when Margot caught Joshua hovering outside her part of the complex she’d held out her hand and Joshua had taken a moment to understand what she’d wanted and put a cigarette in it. She leant next to Joshua on the wall and watched him closely._

_“How has Mason been treating you?” she asked wryly._

_“Oh you know… the usual.” Joshua shrugged._

_“That bad, huh?”_

_Joshua joined Margot in chuckling dryly, and took another drag with a small sigh, taking in Margot’s stoic appearance, which was currently endowed with a slightly more cheerful complexion than usual. Seems Joshua keeping Mason occupied was keeping Margot out of harms way. Good._

_He’d developed a connection with Margot that was profound because he hadn’t had more than three conversations with her, and those were largely based around first aid. Still, the girl he’d met when he was crying and alone in the Verger mansion stuck with him, because she had had everything Joshua couldn’t hold back hidden behind her eyes. There was an understanding between them. Although, when Joshua considered it, he sensed a darkness within her even more dangerous than inside of her brother, but Joshua was also shit out of mother figures and would take what he could get._

          _He didn’t know what to ask Margot- what was appropriate to say to her, even ‘how was your day’ could mean something traumatic. Margot was happy to let silence grow comfortable between them, wordless communication functioning perfectly well in lieu of small talk._

_Unfortunately whenever Mason saw Joshua with Margot he got very protective. Of whom, Joshua wasn’t sure. So their little conversation was interrupted…_

Joshua frowned. That wasn’t the only time they’d been interrupted, either…

 

_“Mason… harder… fuck-”_

_“Can you imagine what would happen if Miss Hawthorne interrupted us right now?”_

_Joshua panted and grit his teeth, wishing Mason would move his hips even a tiny bit faster. “The fuck kind of question is that- she’d go mental, you’d be put in jail, I’d be put in a loony bin and- Jesus- just fuck me already!”_

_“Getting impatient, Joshua, dear?”_

_“Shut up.” Joshua growled and suddenly threw a hand over Mason’s mouth, trying not to breathe as he heard the stable doors go. Someone was here._

_Mason waggled his eyebrows and Joshua could feel his grin under his hand. Joshua shook his head- **no funny business**. Mason licked his hand and Joshua retrieved it, looking faintly disgusted with Mason’s behavior, which was perhaps a tad redundant at this point. Even though the sound was only the pitter-patter of little feet, it still worried Joshua; if there were children here, adults weren’t far behind. There was also the fact that Joshua was propped up against a stall wall, naked, legs wrapped around someone balls-deep inside of him. A fully-grown adult someone who owned the complex. That might take some explaining._

_Joshua could feel mischief radiating off of Mason and either the kid with poor-timing needed to leave, or Joshua had to find another way to distract him… what he really needed to do was try and pull his clothes on before those little feet wandered any nearer._

_Luckily the voice of Pablo saved the day- just as the footsteps were getting uncomfortably close even for Mason’s fun and games,_

_“Come on little one, there’s nothing for you to play with here.”_

_Joshua had to glare firmly at Mason to stop him cackling, and not thirty seconds after the child and the danger had disappeared, Joshua was back to being fucked against the wall by a giggling maniac. The giggling was new… sort-of…_

Joshua shook his head, a vaguely fond smile on his face. A question tugged at his mind for a moment. He supposed he _was_ fond of Mason, in a way. He’d certainly grown accustomed to the other man, and he was willing to admit that he liked him, at least. But that was natural- that was _biological_ , he was sure Mason was feeling the same mating bond, in the bizarre, not-feeling way he felt things. Joshua brought the cigarette to his lips and inhaled…

 

_It had been a week since Mason had drawn Joshua up to his mansion and there was only four days left- Joshua was thoroughly fucked-out; they’d been given free time in the afternoon, Miss Hawthorne too, and Joshua and Mason had been at it since three in the afternoon. After a quick break for Joshua to show his (sweaty and flushed) face at dinner he’d given himself enough energy to keep up with Mason for the rest of the evening._

_Time had been passing so fast, in fact, that it was now dark outside, past-curfew. Joshua looked to his side, just about managing to return his breath to a normal rate, and cast his eyes to the clock. Exhausted as his body was he knew if he stayed on the bed another minute he’d be fast asleep- best to get moving now. Mason seemed to agree, and when Joshua moved Mason lifted the duvet to crawl under it, clearly exhausted himself. What Joshua didn’t bet on was the hand that grabbed his wrist and pulled him underneath the duvet too, a seconds fumbling and the light was switched off- the clink of Mason’s glasses hitting the bedside table and the contact of Mason’s ankle crossing Joshua’s._

_“Stay.”_

_It wasn’t a request. He figured the others would cover for him- it was rare that anyone physically checked all the boys were present anyway- but it was still a bizarre sensation to have his eyes closed and be lying so close to another person- and that person was **Mason**. Joshua wasn’t sure of the etiquette in this situation so he remained where he’d been pulled to, on his side of the bed, and drifted off to sleep almost instantly._

_Three hours later he became very aware of the correct etiquette from Mason’s point of view as he was woken with every limb of Mason’s wrapped around him in some way- which was very sweet and all but it was a little suffocating. Mason’s arms were wrapped around his shoulders and head, and his legs were entwined and attached to Joshua’s legs, with Joshua's head nestled safely against Mason's chest. Mason was sleeping very soundly, utterly content sprawling over Joshua like an octopus. Joshua was less happy, although he secretly indulged his daddy-issues and snuggled into the contact._

_When he woke Mason hadn’t moved; he wasn’t embarrassed to wake up like this then- had he been expecting it? At any rate Joshua didn’t mind, and Mason didn’t give him time to enjoy a moment of niceties, as a second later he was firmly kicked out of bed, with a gruff,_

_“Breakfast time. For you. Go.”_

_Joshua had rubbed the part of his ass he’d landed on and res-_

 

His smoke was interrupted when a gloved hand reached over the window sill and snatched his cigarette away, tossing it over the coated shoulder that followed as Mason forced his way through the window, using Joshua as leverage when he needed to and landing on the floor with a small grunt.

          “Mason-” Joshua began with a tone of complaint in his voice before Mason sprung back up and put a finger over his lips.

          “Shhh. Don’t want to wake the rest of the kiddies.” He whispered, and Joshua rolled his eyes.

          “I thought we’d said our _goodbyes_ already.”  
          Mason chuckled. “Well, _yes_. But I was thinking about you this evening and I’m not used to not having you within reach. Did you think I wouldn’t _find you_ here?” He asked quietly.

          “You’re gonna have to get used to it as of tomorrow.” Joshua whispered back, with a frown on his face, a little glad to see Mason but damned if he was going to show it. A small smile came to his lips. “Well I’m guessing you’re not just here for small talk, lucky for you I’m in a giving mood.” He leaned in and was surprised when he was pushed away.

          “I’m not kissing you when you taste like an ashtray. On your _knees_.” Mason hissed and pushed on Joshua’s shoulders. Joshua complied with the smallest of grumbles and muttered complaints as Mason fumbled with his belt, not wasting breath on another word before he shoved himself, already hard, into Joshua’s mouth. Joshua was minutely surprised- he probably shouldn’t have been after knowing Mason nearly two weeks, but made a small groaning noise and did his best with his tongue, eager to impress- but Mason didn’t seem to notice. He gripped Joshua’s hair and used it to secure himself and fuck Joshua’s face as deeply as Joshua could take him. He barely made a sound apart from the occasional grunt and a small groaning noise.

 

After a minute or so of this Joshua’s jaw started to ache, and he didn’t have any encouragement to keep him interested- was Mason just going to use him as a toy, didn’t he have anything more _creative_ in mind? This was the last time they were going to be together (or it certainly would be if he kept this up), after all- _wow am I actually able to have a coherent inner monologue_ \- _am I **bored** I’m so used to_ \- _Well not used to, but… unstimulated by having a cock in my mouth?_  Hopefully Mason hadn’t noticed- he hadn’t seemed to notice Joshua’s trying efforts before.

          The only adrenaline spike that Joshua felt, in fact, was when he heard a voice shouting in a hushed tone from beneath the window.

          “Joshua! Are you up there?”

Joshua froze. Mason didn’t. He cocked his head, a devious smile was on his face. Joshua had to force himself away, quite firmly, drawing a gasp of breath before he spluttered,

          “Yeah. Won’t be long- Miles. Just go to bed.”

          “What are you doing up there?”

          “Nothing, I’m just writing in my journal- I’ll be in bed soon.”

          “… okay.”

         

Barely had Joshua heard the quiet scuffing of Miles heading back to his bunk when he found his jaw wrenched open and Mason was thrusting into his mouth again. Joshua’s jaw was starting to ache and his hand traveled down to palm the hard-on in his trousers- inspiration to put up with Mason’s rough treatment. That stopped when Mason noticed and kicked his hand away, stepping on it to keep it pinned to the floor. Joshua made a noise of complaint and Mason pulled away and slapped him hard. Joshua put his hand to his smarting cheek and found himself near speechless.

          “Mason- what-”

          “You can rut against my leg _like a bitch in heat_ if you want to, but no more. And you can’t cum.” Mason said with a firm business tone, moving his shoe against Joshua’s hard on and pushing two fingers into his mouth to open him up again, pushing back into his mouth a few moments later. He wasn’t feeling at all gentle and without Mason’s usually loud and constant stream of noises, expletives, commands and encouragement Joshua sort of felt like a prostitute on bad pay. Mason made a small grunting noise and pushed Joshua back against the wall to crowd him and more efficiently thrust into his face. Joshua wobbled and splayed his arms against the wall to keep balance, he ended up knocking a few things over. Mason didn’t care.

          After what seemed like an eternity of Joshua knocking his head against the wall and trying not to clamp his teeth down Mason made a small noise at the back of his throat and Joshua knew he was close. He felt him pull away and hesitated only a moment before speaking quickly,

          “Not my face. Please- too much mess.” Ever since Mason had learnt Joshua sneered at the pornography practice of 'cumshots' (it was just _unnecessary_ ), at every opportunity he’d gotten Joshua pinned down and covered.

          Mason shrugged. “Fine, in your mouth then.” And Joshua let him push in again and with a few firm thrusts he came, using Joshua’s hair to pin him to the wall and take it.

 

The second Mason let him go Joshua dropped to his hands and knees and spat, rubbing his jaw forlornly.

          “Aw, does this mean you don’t _love_ me _really_?” Mason sneered in a worryingly sing-song voice.

          Joshua turned to make some sort of witty retort and found himself pulled to his feet and backed against the wall again. “Again? Even for you this is an impressive recovery time.” Joshua muttered before Mason pushed a finger against his lips and shushed him.

          “Beg.”

          “For what?” Joshua was met with an icy glare. “ _Please_ can I cum now?” He asked hopefully but Mason was having none of it, gloved hand palming the bulge in Joshua’s pants to encourage him. “Shit. Ok. I’ve been desperate for your hands on me since you crawled through this window, I feel like a used toy or a needy prostitute, _please_ make me feel like more than that- please make me feel like you give a shit.” And he actually got raised eyebrows at that one- not quite what Mason was expecting.

          Still, it got the job done and Joshua moaned softly with Mason’s hand undoing his trousers and using swift wrist movements, two fingers from the other hand, quickly free of glove with Mason’s teeth, pushed into Joshua’s mouth to increase the sore burn there. Joshua made small needy noises and bucked his hips once or twice, the steady eye contact he held with Mason and watching him feed off of Joshua’s pleasure had him breathing heavily already.

           A cruel grin came to Mason’s lips and he slowly sank to his knees, pulling his fingers from Joshua’s mouth with a lingering touch to his lips. He pushed Joshua’s hips back against the wall and pinned him there- Mason may have been the one kneeling, but as ever he was the one in control. This was always Joshua’s weakness- those big blue eyes and that messy dirty-blond hair within grabbing reach and the _filthy_ innocent look Mason gave him which still gave him sticky dreams. And as usual he was still wearing his glasses. Then Mason and mouth and Joshua’s inability to form sentences...    

_I wonder if the runts Snowball pushed out will be worth fattening- they’re infertile so they’ll have to be bred intravenously, but they already seem to be vicious little brutes... Look at Joshua, already so wrapped up in me. There’s probably not a single coherent thought in his head that doesn’t have at least three expletives..._

Joshua choked slightly and made a whimpering noise; Mason had narrowed his eyes slightly- which meant he was thinking about Joshua. _Fuck_.

          Mason waited as long as he dared to, until Joshua shut his eyes and his mouth went slack, approximately three seconds before he came, before he pulled away. Joshua actually looked surprised. _He never learnt_ …

          Mason stood, cupping Joshua’s cheeks and finally kissed him, slowly, with tongue. He smiled fondly, before moving Joshua aside as if he were to climb out the window and away again. “Well, _so long_ Joshua-”

          “No you don’t.” Joshua felt a flood of endorphins and slammed Mason against the wall, pushing firmly on his shoulders,  and was surprised to find Mason eagerly give and buckle to his knees, waiting obediently with his eyes wide and mouth open. Joshua anchored his hand in Mason’s messy hair and felt Mason’s hands come to his hips to help him balance and Joshua bucked his hips and bit his lip firmly to try to hold on a little longer… he managed to last another twenty seconds until something Mason did with his tongue had him whining and slumping against the wall, head rocked forward until Mason moved away. Joshua slumped and folded, tucking himself back into his trousers and getting his breath back. Mason didn’t wait and forced himself against Joshua’s body to reclaim him, cupping his cheeks, kissing him roughly and catching his lips with his teeth. He pulled until Joshua was lying on the floor, with him on top, and tugged at his hair, growling against his mouth while Joshua tried to keep up, grabbing uselessly at coat collar and face as he could get his hands on them.

          “That was an interesting little _game_ , Joshua, but don’t expect a repeat performance.” Mason banged Joshua’s head against the floor before he stood.   Joshua followed him up, seeing stars and rubbing his head, and watched him start to climb back through the window.

          “What was that all about?”

          “Call it… a _goodbye_.” Mason shrugged and pulled him in for one final kiss, slightly slower, and Joshua nearly melted into it but Mason pulled away too soon, and with a wink disappeared back into the night.

 

Joshua sat back down and pulled out _another_ cigarette, health be damned. He sighed deeply and ran his hand through his hair- trying to put it back to some degree of the shape it usually was. He was _fucked_.

          Analyzing your feelings for someone just after you’ve orgasmed because of them is never a good plan- especially with manipulative, foul-mouthed people like Mason. But the feelings still stood- Joshua was going to miss him. He shrugged his coat back over his shoulders and swallowed- dismissing the feeling as he puffed the forgiving numbness of nicotine, shaking his head slowly. He’d get used to Mason’s absence- in a few months he’d probably have forgotten all about this. The look he caught from the broken mirror leant on the floor practically sang to him. _Unlikely._ Joshua threw a bottle of detergent at it.

 

…

 

It was only as he sat near the back of the bus, elbow against the window and cheek against his elbow, and he expected Mason to be lurking somewhere in the shadows to see him off he realized quite how fucked he was. He pushed back this strange feeling, pretended he wasn’t aware of it, but couldn’t help his eyes scanning the grounds around him, even after they’d left the complex- hoping for a final glimpse.

 

Mason wasn’t there. At the time, he wasn’t even thinking about Joshua.

 


	4. This Little Piggy Had Fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again sorry for the delay- university interviews are son'bitches

Joshua grinned as he admired himself in the mirror- preening in the view of his stockier, more hairy complexion. Seems puberty was finally kicking in, albeit a little slowly, and short of actually counting the individual underarm hairs, Joshua had been near obsessive over his final beginnings into growing up. His hair no longer sat in an untidy fringe but was quiffed and spiked so it stood atop his head in an untidy but deliberately messy style. Joshua thought he looked at least a year older. He dropped the towel previously wrapped around his waist in the hamper at the end of the corridor and padded back to his dorm room. He wasn’t conscious of the pink scratchy scars over his back, and the mark on his hand had faded to a white line, barely noticeable.

It had been several months, nearly a year, since Joshua had left Muskrat Farm and now Joshua barely thought of it. Well, beyond certain times in the evening he didn’t think about it. Mason himself rarely crossed his mind beyond that sexual sense and the emotional trauma Joshua had been promising himself never happened- or else he had successfully repressed it.

He’d been more sociable since he got back too; he had more friends, spent less time on his own, and even developed a slightly less co-dependant relationship with his brother. Yes, everything seemed to be going Joshua’s way.

 

Alex didn’t bother knocking as he pushed into the room, Joshua jerking to hurry his dressing and put his hands on his hips. Alex grinned widely and addressed the rest of the dorm, “they’re gonna run another summer camp at Muskrat farm this summer- considering how popular the last one was.” Joshua’s stomach dropped.

          There were murmurs around the room, a couple of the older boys immediately disregarding it as “shit” but a few of the younger ones chattered excitedly. Alex crossed over to where Joshua was stood. “Hey, you gonna go?”

          Joshua felt his mouth dry and took a moment before nodding, “Yeah- I guess so, Miles will want to.”

          Alex grinned, “Great, then I’ll have someone to talk to.”

          “Yeah- um, be right back, I’ve got to go and finish some stuff.”

          “O.k. don’t be all day about it though.” Alex said over his shoulder as Joshua hurried out of the room.

 

Joshua slid down the bathroom door and drew a nervous breath. Butterflies were in his stomach and a smile spread over his face. He bit his lip. He was going back; he was going to see Mason again…

_A few months earlier…_

 

Mason hadn’t thought about Joshua in some time- in fact a week after he’d left he’d stopped thinking about him the second he got a hard on. Work and business had suddenly sped up and Mason hadn’t had time for his usual fun and games, and then before he knew it weeks had passed.

Finally, a night off.

Mason sat in his chair, at his desk, in his room. He clicked one of the websites in his bookmark bar (as if he could be bothered with incognito windows), and realized he hadn’t masturbated in almost five days. Well, time to put _that_ right. He scrolled the latest updates, and put on some blonde bimbo having her brains humped out by a fairly average forty year old man and an enthusiastic twenty year old. Standard stuff, really- light spankings, mild choking but it’d be enough to work as background to get himself off.

          Ten minutes later Mason was feeling rather frustrated- he _never_ had difficulty in making himself cum- _especially_ not after nearly a week without. With an irritated sigh he closed the tab, drummed his fingers, and shut his laptop. Others might have had a crudely termed ‘wank bank’ but Mason had a ‘wank fortress’. Never the less he still found it difficult to relax- was all of the drinking finally having an effect or was he just over-stressed? He made a tutting noise and considered. He _could_ go and bother Margot- might even get a handjob out of it too, she’d seemed amicable these past few days. Or maybe he’d have Pablo bring him some unfortunate to play with- but it was a little late in the day and he couldn’t _really_ justify the risk…

          The fact that he’d been playing with himself all the while he’d been thinking should have gotten him interested, or at the least _distracted_. But no. He ran his free hand through his hair, stilling his wrist a moment as he glanced down and glared at his cock as though it were its fault he couldn’t orgasm. What he needed was some eager little mouth under his desk that could suck him off while he occupied himself until he was engaged enough to bend the recipient over the desk. He snorted. Joshua would have been more than willing- been begging for it- and Mason could do with the encouragement- ah- Mason felt a twitch. He arched an eyebrow. _I’m game_. The more he thought about Joshua the more ‘game’ he was- Joshua’s flushed cheeks and bitten lip and the way he squeezed his eyes shut when Mason forced an orgasm out of him, and the way his back arched when Mason splayed his hand over Joshua’s spine and the keening noise from the back of Joshua’s throat when Mason had gotten the balance between pain and pleasure _just so_ and hot breath on his collar as Joshua panted and teased Mason’s neck with his teeth- and then when he bit him hard enough to bleed just _there-_

Mason came without meaning to, making a mess of his shirt and trousers and coming dangerously close to his laptop. He had to hurriedly use his tie to stop the overspill from staining the mahogany desk- _I have to get that varnished_ … he thought as he crumpled back into his seat and enjoyed the sensation of his chest rising and falling, and the filth of the mess he was sitting in. Joshua was still useful for an orgasm or two yet, it seemed.

Mason cleared his throat so his pitching tone wouldn’t give him away, called, “Margot! Come here! I want your help with something!” And shut his eyes, warm smile on his face as he heard the approaching sound of his sister, come to clean him up.

_Present day…_

 

Joshua sighed as he took in the oh so familiar sight of Muskrat Farm, breathing in the farm air deeply as he stretched outside of the coach and approached the bunker he had stayed in almost a year ago now. In fact he was placed in the bunker next to it, and Miles started complaining because all of a sudden the tight grip Joshua had relinquished over him had been re-instated. Back to old times…

He unpacked his stuff, trying to keep his smug smiles to himself, an already present warmth in his stomach (butterflies and conditioned arousal), keeping him happy. He decided to explore, waving off a couple of campers who tried to get him to join a football game, and Joshua even smiled at Sweat-Patches when he saw him.

No sign of Mason. Joshua was careful not to wander off campus- Miss Hawthorne may have forgotten what trouble he’d been last time but there was no need to remind her- or start any new suspicions. There was a positive spring in Joshua’s step as he strolled towards dinner- did Mason know he was here? He must do. When was he going to show up? Should he try to sneak away? His quietly good mood was not missed by the others, wrapped up as excitement for camp and there were a few jokes made about how reluctant he’d once been to participate in anything to do with the House, although this was quickly silenced with a friendly food fight.   

Joshua found it difficult to sleep that night, tossing and turning, even sneaking and waiting in the bathroom for twenty minutes with the lights on, before guiltily jacking off in the (still not fixed) stall and scolding himself for being so needy. Sleep eventually hit him and he woke drowsy and exhausted, but soon the buzz in his stomach was keeping his motor running.

 

Joshua waited until it was group activities, purposely standing near Pablo so he’d be selected to fetch some equipment and not appear too keen. He practically skipped as he turned away from the shed and decided where to go to look for Mason.

          He didn’t have to look far; Mason was walking back from the stables. Joshua took the liberty of waiting in an alcove, stepping out behind Mason when he walked past without noticing him. God he looked fantastic- dressed in a brown hunting jacket made from rough material, brown polo shirt, brown khakis and black boots- Joshua was tempted to jump him there and then- eyes greedily drinking in the sight of him and adding to the rose-tinted memories he’d stored- Mason hadn’t changed a bit.  

          “Hey.”

          Mason turned around and blinked at Joshua, polite smile on his face. “Hello there little one- you lost?”

          Joshua paused, something tightening in his stomach and he tilted his head, “Uh- Mason… it’s me?”

          Mason glanced over towards camp- “looks like all your _friends_ are over _there_ , why don’t you run along…”

          Joshua frowned. Was it possible Mason didn’t remember him? Unlikely- what was he playing at… and now he was walking away… “Hey!” Joshua called, and ran around so he was stood in front of Mason, hands on his hips as he resisted the urge to put a hand on Mason’s shoulder. It was a good thing he did.

          “What do you want, little boy?” Mason sighed, frustrated, as if he had _hundreds_ of things to be doing.

          “Mason, what the hell?” he rolled his eyes, ignoring the spreading coldness through his chest, “Stop being such a dick- it’s not a nice way to greet someone.”

          “I’m sorry- I’m sure you have me confused for someone else,” Mason’s smile turned nasty, “and for _whatever_ reason you seem to know me,” he finally moved closer to Joshua, if only to back him against the mansion and grab a hold of his collar, “I’d _suggest_ you forget about it.” Joshua started to say something but Mason dropped him and stood back, adjusting his coat cuffs. “It’d be a shame if Miles were to have an accident, wouldn’t it, Joshua?”

          Joshua felt something piercing in his chest and he was tempted to cry out though he wasn’t really hurt. He watched, gobsmacked at Mason walked away, humiliation creeping onto his cheeks and eyes starting to mist with tears.

          He sprinted back to the activities, hiding his shaking anger and sat by the side-lines after being told off for wandering ‘out of bounds’ and not doing as instructed. Back to the same old Joshua, it seemed. He snuck out of sight and sat behind the dug outs, not allowing himself to cry but clenching his fists and jaw with a strength he hadn’t previously owned. What the fuck had that been about? He hadn’t done anything wrong… had he? No, Mason was just bored with him; Margot had said it would happen and it had been months, plenty of time for Mason to find a new… plaything…

          He didn’t eat at dinner time, but played with his food. He said he wasn’t feeling well to a few who asked; the _last_ thing he wanted was Miss Hawthorne’s sickening sympathy. No, it was better to retreat to his bunker, growling at Miles to stay close, and try to sleep it off. _Fantastic, another two weeks of this shit… this is going to be hell_ …

          He fumbled in his bag and brought out a small hipflask. He shouldn’t have brought it, he didn’t really like drinking, but he’d figured he may as well have- he thought he might have needed it, Mason was unpredictable. Joshua snorted. _Well, you got that right_.

          He trooped outside, well within the sight of the bunker- no _way_ was he letting Miles out of his sight- and hid behind the storage shed, thumbing the smooth metal to unscrew the top, taking a swig and grimacing.

 

Mason sat, feet propped up on the desk and phone in his hand, other hand shoved casually down his pants as he chuckled to himself, mulling over Joshua’s reaction to seeing him again. No reason to let Joshua get too cocky about their little affair, and making him squirm was just _too_ fun to resist. At any rate there was hardly any point breaking _that_ seal again, now Joshua was wise to the rules of the game. Or Mason would pick him up later in the week, depending on what his mood was. Maybe he’d let Joshua catch him fucking his brother- or he’d make Miles watch… opportunities, opportunities…

 

Joshua drank until a tingling filled his belly, everything fading to background noise and he relaxed, slumping where he sat and looking towards the sky. A figure sat beside him and Joshua barely moved his head to look at them. Alex swam into focus when he did.

          “Hey, Joshua.” Alex said, sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees and blinking at him, blue eyes shining.

          “Hey Alex.” Joshua had to focus a little harder on mouthing his sentences correctly. A beat of slightly strained silence.

          “So… Joshua.”  Alex said gently. “What’s going on, buddy?”

          “Nuthin.” Joshua said with a shrug.

          “Yeah, no- see thing is- we’re all kinda worried about you- _I’m_ worried about you.”

          Joshua’s defence mechanisms kicked in. “So?” He shrugged.

          “Well- I mean, we’re your friends, we care about you, we don’t want you to be unhappy, and I want you to tell me what’s wrong.”

          “Why do you think something’s wrong. I’m fine, Alex, thank you for asking- now if you don’t mind…”

          “You’re swigging from a hipflask at a summer camp- you haven’t sulked like this for months-”

          “I’m _not_ sulking.”

          “Uh huh.”

          A beat of silence. Joshua and Alex both started giggling at the same time, breaking Joshua’s mood and Alex took a sip from the flask, a friendly atmosphere settling between them.

          “This is a pretty nice place, actually, all things considered.” Alex mused, lying back next to Joshua.

          “Yeah. Guess so.” Joshua shrugged again. Another wave of comfortable silence.

          Alex sighed. “If we don’t go inside now, we’ll probably fall asleep out here.”

          “Mmm. Under the stars, sounds nice.” Joshua closed his eyes but accepted Alex’s hand when it was offered to pull himself up.

          They headed towards the bunker. Alex slung an arm around Joshua’s shoulders. “You know you can always talk to me if you want to.”

          Joshua wriggled free and ruffled Alex’s hair in a display of friendly masculine affection, “You’re alright, thanks anyway though. And you know… same goes.”

          “Careful.” Alex sniggered, “say any more I might think you cared.” He pushed open the door to the bunker- here the conversation ended.

          Joshua went to bed and had a surprisingly easy sleep, feeling a lot better than he thought he would have.

 

The next day Joshua managed to retain this uneasily good mood and stuck by his brother, Alex, Flynn, and a few others. He managed to get through breakfast ok- half-assedly joining in with some team game trust exercises and trooping towards the stables with only a moment’s pause at what had happened the last time he was here.

          Joshua was giggling at something Alex had said and he turned his head to see Mason. _Wait_. Mason? Joshua stared, looked away, mouth suddenly dry, and glanced back. Definitely Mason. What was he doing here? He kept towards the back of the group with Alex, doing his best to ignore the other man and keep the flush from his cheeks. Out of the corner of his eye he watched Mason approach one of the younger girls with an apple.

          “Hey there, what’s _your_ name?” Joshua’s fists clenched.

          “Mary-Helen.” Came the small reply, the little coated figure cautious in the tall man’s presence.

          “That’s a pretty name, Mary-Helen.” Mason cooed and crouched to speak more softly to her, “So, tell me, what do _you_ like to do?”

          “Joshua?” Alex blinked and glanced towards Mason. Joshua stopped staring and forced a grin to his face.

          “Sorry- I was miles away.” He blinked and shook his head, and Alex’s face softened and he copied Joshua’s smile.

          Inside Joshua was fuming- a kind of humiliation and anger and… _jealousy_? Joshua wasn’t about to admit to that one- he hurriedly dragged Alex outside and smoked as Alex watched, keeping talking so he wouldn’t get suspicious. He didn’t see Mason watch him leave.

 

Joshua managed to contain himself and remain cheerful until dinner time, and at this point he couldn’t help but seep into the bitter anger churning his guts, and he snapped at anyone that tried to speak to him. This was not missed by Alex, who attempted to soothe him and Joshua responded in a growl with his mouth full of food.

          “Come on, let’s go.” He stood and grabbed Alex’s collar, dragging him outside and back to their hidden spot, hipflask already in hand and a growl in his throat.

          “Joshua- what- let go- what are you doing?” He stood above the slumped boy sitting in front of him, hands on his hips. “What’s going on with you?”

          “Nothing-” he sighed, “Just,” he proffered the flask, “distract me, please?”

          Alex hesitantly sat by Joshua and took a small sip, gagging on the harsh taste of cheap vodka. “Distract you from what?”

          Joshua sighed again. “It doesn’t matter. Really. I just want to take my mind of things for a bit.” Off Alex’s look he added, “Puberty things, nothing interesting.”

          “Oh.” Alex flushed and took another drink. Silence settled as Joshua cooled off and fumbled for his phone.

          “Let’s set the atmosphere, hmm?” It was already getting dark. Joshua pushed buttons until sound came on- Begin the Beguine, unbelievably. Alex hummed along and the boys met eyes shyly.

          “You know this?”

          “Yeah.”

Another beat of silence. Joshua broke the moment with a giggle and pulled himself and then Alex to his feet, burning in his stomach already making it easier to let his guard down. “C’mon let’s dance.”

          “What _are_ you doing?” Alex shook his head, glancing over his shoulder but there was no one in sight- it was too dark to be seen anyway.

          “Don’t make it awkward, I’m just in the mood to dance, blame the alcohol, it’s nothing personal.”

          “Uh huh.” Alex sounded un-convinced. He was suddenly very aware of his hand holding Joshua’s and the pressure of his torso against the other boy's. His head was feeling a little dizzy.

          Joshua had to try very hard not to roll his eyes. This was possibly the most clichéd thing he’d ever done, but it was nice. He’d never _liked_ Alex like that, he’d always thought he was vaguely cute but it wasn’t- this was just _dancing_ and he was _lonely_ and was Alex sending him _signals_? Joshua swallowed- drinking had been a bad idea. He brought his gaze back to Alex and the eye contact was suddenly tense. A moment passed- both boys trying hard not to glance to the other’s lips and failing and nervously giggling and pulling away from each other, sitting side by side, _but not touching_ , and refusing to admit what had happen and be the first to confess. Joshua turned the music off.

          “So-

          “Um-

Both boys quietened. And then giggled again. _Fuck it_ , Joshua thought, _just go for it_. And he did, Alex looked startled and kissing him was _very_ different to kissing Mason. Alex was gentle and hesitant and slightly inexperienced and Joshua was impatient and pushed Alex back and rolled on top of him and Alex made a small noise of protest but he didn’t complain when Joshua started pulling his shirt off and Joshua didn’t even _think_ when Alex returned his advances with fumbling gestures and gasped softly. Joshua paused as Alex traced the scars over his chest with a finger.

          “Uh- don’t worry about that… it was my dad.” And that shut Alex up- He was back to gentle kissing motions but when Joshua started pulling at Alex’s trousers he was stopped with a hand on his chest.

          “Joshua- how far is this going? And where did this… come from?”

          Joshua paused, the words _I don’t care_ springing into his head, but he stopped just in time. “Just put it down to drunken fooling around- you’ve always given me looks and I’ve always thought you were cute so…”

          Alex arched an eyebrow, inquiring gently as Joshua mapped his hand over Alex’s bare chest, kept warm by alcohol alone. “And… ok, well do you even _have_ any condoms with you? Or any lube? Not that I’m saying we’ll need them but...”

          Joshua frowned- “What? You don’t- you don’t need that stuff- don’t worry it’ll be fine… just trust me.”

          Alex pushed on Joshua’s chest firmly. “Joshua. Stop.” Joshua did. “I know your dad probably didn’t give you the best sex ed,” Joshua snorted, “But this isn’t the right thing to do,” Alex watched Joshua’s head lolling, “And I don’t think now is the right time to have that conversation, either- what is… where did you learn- I mean, what _is_ this? To you?”

          “I…” Joshua’s words failed him. He sighed, finally. “I don’t know- closure, I guess.” He lay back on the grass, pulling his shirt on as he began to shiver in the cold.

          “Closure?” Alex lay down next to him.

          “Well I mean… the last person I did this with.” He swallowed, struggling to spit the words out. “They weren’t exactly gentle and they were… I don’t know it’s hard to explain but you’re very… _different_ to them and I just wanted that.” He shrugged and Alex nodded, not pushing any more. He gingerly reached for Joshua’s hand, already a drowsiness tugging at his system. Joshua responded to the touch and they curled up against each other, sleeping together in the most innocent form of the word, under the stars.

 

“They’re _what_?” Mason snapped into the radio.

          “Just lying on the grass, I think they’re asleep- nothing interesting happened.” Came the voice at the other end. “Do you want me to wake them up?”

          “No… just… leave them. If they freeze to death it’s their own fault.” He growled and turned off the bulky device in his hand. He was tempted to throw it against the wall and break it. Or would that be childish? He wasn’t quite sure why he was so pissed off; usually he didn’t mind sharing his toys. But then again he wasn’t used to them not including him. Joshua had been perfectly wound up by his little show earlier, and yet he’d gone and secluded himself with one of his peers. Mason folded his arms, mouth a firm line and he stomped into Margot’s room, sighing dramatically until she looked up from her book.

          “What is it, Mason?” She lowered her book only enough to regard him with boredom.

          “Joshua’s back.”

          “I know.” Margot went back to her book. After half a minute she finally responded to the glare she was receiving. “ _Why are you upset Joshua’s back_?” She said exasperatedly, adding “I thought you were enjoying winding him up, anyway.”

          “He’s gone and snuggled up with one of the others- a boring one by the looks of things.”

          This time Margot didn’t bother to look up from her book, “I wonder what Joshua could _possibly_ want, being in a consensual relationship with someone his own age, who feels the same way he does. Shocker.”

          Mason nearly stamped his foot. “But _Margot_ … he’s _my_ -”

          “No he’s not. You had your fun with him and you just showed him you don’t want him anymore.”

          Mason snorted, “Oh I get it, you’re happy that I’m being deprived, well _don’t worry_ , I’ll make sure I-”

          “I’m happy _for_ Joshua. I’m happy he’s finally getting a break. I’m _happy_ he’s found someone who likes him- I’m happy he’s getting away from _you_. You aren’t exactly boyfriend-of the-year.”

          Mason sneered and deliberately grabbed and threw her book away. “Well just you wait and see. He wants to see other people? Fine. I wish him good luck in ignoring _me._ ”

 

The next day Joshua and Alex stumbled blindly for the showers, groggily rubbing their heads and shying away from each other. After breakfast things went a lot more smoothly-the awkwardness of the night before was forgotten and the daily routine of social interactions began. They were quietly chatting as they sat on the coach to head over to the lake for water sports and neither were paying much attention to anything other than themselves until someone said ‘Oh my God _look_ at what he’s wearing.’

          Joshua had a cold feeling in his gut as he glanced up. What the _hell_ was Mason doing here?

          Mason strolled up to the driver, where Miss Hawthorne was sat and beamed at them both. “Howdy folks, I need to go down to the lake for some _administration_.” He displayed with a look how boring _that_ task was, “but my car’s just been taken in for works, I don’t suppose you could give me a ride?” He winked at Miss Hawthorne and his driver, of course, waved him on. Mason sat relatively near the front- away from the crowds of children who were essentially ignoring him anyway and turned to wave at Joshua, who was caught before he stopped staring.

          “Hey little boy, why don’t you come and sit with me and you can tell me _all about_ how much fun you’re having at my camp.” He grinned, leer hiding just behind his eyes.

          Joshua cleared his throat and shook his head. Mason arched an eyebrow and Joshua could feel Alex staring. “Can’t, sorry sir. I get travel sick so I need to sit near the back.” Mason’s smile was icy but he had no choice but to turn away with a shrug and spend the rest of the journey glaring at him.

 

“Just leave it.” Joshua muttered when Alex stared.

          “He’s still staring at you.”

          “I know.” Joshua sighed and deliberately lost himself in his conversation, daring even to slowly brush some crumb of breakfast from Alex’s chin with his thumb, in order that Mason might get the message. His heart was beating double. What did Mason want from him? Why was he interested in him now? Had something happene- no this was all just one big game to him. Oh well. Joshua focused his attentions back on his friend. He wasn’t playing anymore and Alex was far healthier for him.

 

Mason was not happy. He had never been ignored in his life, and if this little shit thought he’d be the one to determine the ending of this _thing_ then he had another thing coming. Joshua could be punished for this later, but for now he had to find a way to occupy himself now he was at the stupid lake.

          The occupation took the part of a little girl named Olivia, who had gotten lost looking for the bathroom and stood, legs crossed, on the verge of tears. Needless to say it didn’t take much for Mason to get what he wanted- _almost too easy_ , really. And still he was left with an unsatisfied feeling in his gut.

          “Shut up.” Mason snapped as the girl refused to stop wailing- humiliation flushing her cheeks as tears fell and the dark wet patch across the front of her skirt spread. Mason rubbed his head. He needed a drink. _Why would Joshua chose someone as boring as that over someone as glorious as me?_ A thought struck and a cruel smile came to his lips as he found an apt solution to his problem. Let’s see what Joshua would make of _that_.

 

Ambulances’ sirens were blazing as a streak of blue and yellow roared out of the Verger Complex, gates sounding ominous slamming behind it. Joshua sprinted behind it, horror on his face. He turned to Sweat-patches.

          “What happened?”

          Sweat-Patches shrugged. “He had an accident in the equipment shed- a shelf fell on him- God knows what he was up to in there. It’s awful, really.”

          Joshua gaped and mouthed a few beginnings of sentences, running his hand through his hair. _No no no no no no no. How did this happen? Why- it must have been Mason. Is he throwing a tantrum because I wouldn’t go and do whatever despicable thing he wanted me to in the goddamn coach? Oh shit. Oh shit._

“Everything ok?” Sweat-Patches put a hand on Joshua’s shoulder and was immediately shaken off, fear hot as Joshua remembered- whatever Mason had done, Sweat-Patches was in on it too. He stumbled away and started running, using the hyperactive buzz in his blood and frantic breathing to propel himself faster and stopping only when he heard the frantic cry of his name.

          “Josh! What’s going on? Are you ok?”

          Joshua wheeled around to face his brother. “Alex. Been in an accident. I’m fine.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair again.

          Miles blinked. “What? Is he ok? Are _you_ ok?”

          “Yes.” Joshua breathed and tried to pretend he wasn’t hyperventilating. “Yes I’m fine, and Alex is fine too-or he will be or- I don’t know- I… I don’t know.” He stumbled off, at a slower pace, mind racing. Miles watched him, alarm on his features as he chewed his lip. What was going on with him? He scuffed his shoes on the gravel. Someone had to find out what was going on- he was always so _weird_ at these places…

         

Joshua’s mind spun. What could he do? Who was Mason going to hurt next, what was he going to do to Alex next? Was he safe, himself? Joshua threw the cigarette he’d brought out onto the floor. _Enough_. He was just going to have to deal with this- do whatever Mason wanted…

          Joshua halted, fists clenched, brow furrowed. He’d _have_ to go and find him. That was what Mason wanted, right? Fine.

          Without another thought his feet started walking him towards the mansion, and all of a sudden rage was bubbling into his fists. He didn’t know exactly where he was heading or what he was intending to do but he was angry and ready to have a row- to finally get a reaction from Mason.

 

He didn’t have to look far- Joshua had taken three steps through the front door, a shout rising his throat, nerves faltering only a fraction and fear clutching at his spine, when he heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching from the kitchen. Joshua stood his ground, heart rising in his throat, nails digging into his palm and praying for Mason to _hurry up and come through the door_ before he lost his nerve. The door opened.

          “What the _fuck_ -”

          “Hello Joshua.” Mason smiled and looked down at him, squarely standing in front of him.

          Joshua was shaking; half with rage, half with fear- he didn’t back down though. “You can’t just- what do you _want_ \- I know _you_ were the one who-”

          Mason watched him flounder with amusement. Arched an eyebrow and stepped closer. “I _what_? Careful throwing accusations around, Joshua.”

          “You think I don’t _know_ it was you who hurt Alex?”

          Mason looked surprised. “Now why on earth would I hurt that little boy? … Oh.” He chuckled. “Oh Joshua- that’s _adorable_ \- you think I’m _jealous_ …. But you’re already mine.” The smile dropped from his eyes.

          Joshua wetted his lips, his shoulders slumped; reeling from that. “No- you… I know it was you.” His fist twitched.

          “Careful Joshua,” Mason eyed him, “accidents happen…”

          “Yeah? Cos I think that I can feel an ‘accident’ coming on.” He barely flexed his arm before Mason took another step to close the gap between them and tilted his head slightly, looking down at Joshua with an unfriendly smile.

          “What about that little brother of yours? Be a shame if he were to… _have an accident_ , like your little friend did, wouldn’t it?”

          Joshua took a step back, eyes wide. He recovered and pushed himself into Mason’s personal space, glaring up at him, teeth bared and tone feral, “Don’t you _touch_ my brother.” He snarled, “If you do- I’ll kill you.”

          Mason smiled and chewed the gum in his mouth twice, pointedly. “Now now, Joshua. Threats don’t suit you. Especially ones you can’t follow through on.” He raised his hand and gently traced Joshua’s collar, following round to lightly run his finger over where the very familiar scar was. Joshua flinched and pulled away.

          “No. Mason. I’m not doing… whatever it is you want me to do. You made it clear you didn’t want me and you hurt my friend.” He dropped his shoulders. “Don’t do it again.” He grit his teeth and blinked up at Mason, “please?”

          Mason looked surprised. And disappointed. “Fine. Go then.” Joshua hesitated, “I said _go_. You’re only fun when I _want_ to play with you.”

          Ignoring the weirdness of _that_ sentence Joshua turned heel and retreated, very much tail between legs. Fine. Mason could do what he wanted. So long as he didn’t hurt Miles, or Alex again, he wouldn’t say anything. Fine.

          Both Joshua and Mason’s beds felt hard and cold when they slept, alone.

 

The next day Joshua was pissed off. Well, _pissed off_ was an understatement. Alex’s empty bunk made sure he woke angry, and the news of Alex’s status as ‘under observation’ and that would be back in a few days was little comfort.

          He got through breakfast ok, getting a little itchy with the younger kids scraping in front of him and then again at Miles when he tried to wheedle information out of him with hammer-like tactics. Finally, when Sweat-patches put an arm round him when he tried to skulk off, and spoke soothingly in that sickening tone of voice, Joshua snapped.

          “Get the fuck off me.” He pushed away, felt the shrieks bubbling in his throat and he wanted scream everything. _My friend is in hospital my father used to hit me I don’t know if I can take care of my brother I don’t know if I can protect anyone here I’ve been raped by the most vicious manipulative man I’ve ever met and I liked it and my mother is gone and I want her back I want my mom and I want to protect my family and I don’t want Mason I don’t want to hurt anymore I can’t I can’t I can’t._

          “JOSHUA!” Miss Hawthorne roared and Joshua came back to himself. He became aware he was panting, that his fist hurt and that- ah. Shit. He looked at the broken stall door in front of him and then became aware of Sweat-Patches holding a handkerchief to his nose with his head leaned back. _Shit_. He blinked and looked around nervously.

          “What on _earth_ do you think you were doing- come with me, _now_.” Everything was sickeningly silent. Joshua panted and gaped and tried to stutter something of an apology but he was already being dragged off, frogmarched in front of everyone to the staff block. He kept his head down and was told to sit and wait while Miss Hawthorne talked to the staff. She didn’t want to hear what he had to say.

          Joshua felt sick. He sat, anger boiling over him and then fading away to guilt and then to the cold fear every child caught misbehaving knows. What was he going to do? He couldn’t leave Miles here, and Alex- Alex. Tears welled in Joshua’s eyes and he could tell he was going to start crying if he didn’t get a hold of himself. He dug his nails into his palm and grit his teeth and he was left half an hour before Miss Hawthorne re-entered the room. It had been left unlocked- Joshua had had more than enough time to cool off. He hadn’t considered leaving once.

 

“Joshua.” Miss Hawthorne’s tone was formal, with a forced calm. “What you did-”

          “Miss I can explain…”

          Miss Hawthorne silenced him with a glare. Joshua decided not to try and interrupt. “The way you have behaved is _absolutely out of order_.” Her voiced hissed with quiet anger. “How _dare_ you jeopardise this trip for all of your other friends, how _dare you_ disgrace your care home and risk future trips anywhere, and how _dare you_ take out whatever emotional problems, I don’t _care_ what they are- you should have talked to me before you hurt another person. You _know_ what it feels like to have someone hurt you in their own anger, and you know that that’s not the right way to deal with things.”

          Joshua was stunned, his cheeks were flushed, and his lip wobbled. “I… I’m sorry Miss.” He conceded, feeling utterly helpless. There was nothing he could say to her, even if he told the truth there was nothing she could do- she couldn’t risk spoiling all opportunities for everyone else, and not to mention the _lawsuit_ if she tried to hold Mason accountable for what he’d done. The finality of that realization had him with his head in his hands, trying vaguely to grab onto some sapling of calm but feeling like he was drowning.

          “Well it’s a little late to be sorry now but you might want to hold your explanations for a few moments.” Miss Hawthorne said, smoothing her jacket and resuming her maternal role. “It was fortunate that you only elbowed Mr… well had you directly hit him you would be in far more serious trouble. However, as for the property damage and the obscenities… I spoke with the staff and they’ve spoken to the owner, who has kindly agreed to come and talk to you; he sounded most reasonable on the phone but I thought I should talk to you and see if you had anything you wanted to tell me before I brought him in.”

          Joshua gaped and felt the colour drain from his face and his stomach sink. _No no no this is just what Mason wants no I can’t I-_ deep breath. “No miss, there’s nothing I want to say.”

          Miss Hawthorne nodded and rose to the door, opening it to let Mr. Verger in.

          “I’m so sorry to pull you away from you work like this, Mr. Verger, but I…”

          Mason shook his head, “no no, it’s fine, I think it’s right I should talk to him.” He resumed Miss Hawthorne’s place in the chair in front of him and looked at Joshua with a somber look on his face.

          “Now, young man, you know it’s a very serious thing to hit someone, don’t you?” his eyes were sparkling, _come on, play the game, there’s a good boy_.

          “Yes.” Joshua grit out, hoping Miss Hawthorn would see him embarrassed and not defiant- he didn’t want to get in anymore trouble.

          “When you hit people you can accidentally hurt them- more than you think you mean to in the heat of the moment.” He reacted, as if he’d just thought of something. “Your friend has just been in an accident, hasn’t he? Is that why you were so upset?”

          Joshua swallowed his glare. “Yes.”

          “I understand that you’re worried about your _friend_ Joshua, really I do, but I also think it’s important to learn that you have to find ways to take out your temper without hurting other people, or things that don’t belong to you.” With that he turned around to Miss Hawthorn. “I wonder if you’d think it appropriate, rather than having to pay for a new stall door, he could come and work on it during his stay here, not as a _punishment_ of course, but as a learning experience.”

          Miss Hawthorn looked at Joshua and nodded. “I think that’s a wonderful idea.” She looked relieved this wasn’t going to cost the House anything instead. “Thank you, Mr. Verger, for being so understanding.”

          “Not at all.” Mason stood. False philanthropy did not suit him, Joshua decided. “If fact if I may be so _bold_ , I’m sure that if he is to, say… work in the mornings for the rest of the trip, he can decide if he _chooses_ ,” a direct glance at Joshua, “to spend the afternoon getting the job done quicker- I can provide supervision, of course.”

          “Of course.” Miss Hawthorne considered, “In fact I think it might be beneficial if he spends every morning helping, and the evenings too, until he can prove to me he’s learnt to behave- so if your team have any other odd jobs that they need doing I’m sure Joshua will be _happy to help_.” She looked firmly at Joshua before he could start to complain. “Joshua, do you have something to say to Mr. Verger?”

          “…” Joshua was tempted to remain stubbornly silent, but one glance to Miss Hawthorne confirmed that this was not an option. “Thank you Mr. Verger.” He said blankly, copying the look Margot adopted when she spoke to her brother. “I’m very sorry for any trouble I’ve been.”

          “That’s quite alright, Joshua. The important thing is that you understand what you did was wrong.” He smiled. _I win_. “I’m sure you won’t do anything like this again, although…” he turned to Miss Hawthorne again, “from what I understand, one of my staff members was left with a bloody nose- I think perhaps he ought to apologize to him, too.”

          Miss Hawthorne beamed at Mason, “I couldn’t agree more, I’m sure he’d be happy to do it now in fact.”

          Mason nodded, seeming satisfied. “Good… good. Well, unless I can be of further assistance…”

          “No no, of course Mr. Verger, thank you for your time, you’ve been excellent and I’m very sorry for this trouble, again. Joshua isn’t usually like this.”

 _Found your loyalty_ _much_ , Joshua thought bitterly. Mason nodded once and looked at Joshua with a smile- and Joshua could have sworn he winked before he was out the door, probably humming something. Miss Hawthorn turned back to Joshua, in a better mood, apparently.

          “Well aren’t you lucky he was so amicable? Honestly Joshua, I don’t know why you get yourself into these messes.” She sighed, “Just… do as you’ve been asked to do, and please behave for the rest of the trip. If you ever feel like that again, _please_ come and talk to me.” She opened the door to usher Joshua out and he meekly kept his head low.

          “Yes, miss. Sorry for all this, Miss. I was just worried about Alex and I spilled over a bit. It won’t happen again.” Miss Hawthorne seemed happy with this and Joshua slunk off, mind racing.

 

Mason had won. There was no other way to phrase it. He curled up on his bunk and ignored the people who questioned him on ‘what happened?’, ‘what did she say?’, ‘shit, that bad huh?’, and the various whisperings that were taking place. Staff were happy enough to leave him alone- he’d forgotten to go apologize but he didn’t much feel like moving. There was nothing he could do now, anyway. Maybe this was just a punishment- maybe Mason was finally bored. Joshua sighed. _Not likely_.

 

The next day Joshua was up and breakfasted with the others, pit in his stomach as he trod the cold ground over to the stables. Sweat-Patches was there waiting for him, arms folded, and Joshua mumbled an apology. He was about to begin what would be the most humiliating experience of his life (because _as if_ he had any idea how to do this) and had actually picked up the hammer when Mason appeared at the door.

          “Hello Joshua.”

          Mason had picked the wrong time to start poking him. “What do you want?” He growled.

          “Oh I don’t know… I expect I’ll think of _something_.” Mason smiled, hands planted firmly in his pockets. “Come on, then.”

          Joshua glanced from Sweat-Patches to Mason. “Where are we going?”

          “Well unless you’d rather stay here and actually fix _that_.” A nod to the broken door, “wherever I want to.”

          Well that figured, Joshua thought. The cost of repairing the door was probably less than Mason’s loose change. Bastard. He also really didn’t want to stay here and fix it… and it was clear that Mason wasn’t giving him a choice. Wasn’t that what this little lesson had all been about? Joshua sighed and stood. “Fine, okay. Whatever.”

          Mason beamed. “Good. You’re learning.” He bid Joshua follow him.

 

Mason seemed to have some sort of plan, when Miss Hawthorne appeared round the corner and he quickly shoved Joshua into his car as she marched by. Presumably Sweat-Patches would make up a convenient lie. Joshua waited until she’d passed and went to lift his head from Mason’s lap, but Mason put his hand on Joshua’s head, humming thoughtfully.

          “No no, I like you there.”

          Joshua scoffed. “Of course you do.” His heart had started to slow to a normal pace and he was hideously aware of the fact that he was face-to-face with Mason’s crotch. Again he tried to pull away and this time he was allowed, Mason leaning back and removing his tie as he watched Joshua retreat to the other end of the car. He drew Joshua closer, and Joshua seemed to have accepted his fate- there was an air of anticipation as he wetted his lips.

          Joshua was pulled without complaint onto Mason’s lap and he went to speak Mason put his finger on his lips and slowly wrapped his tie around Joshua’s eyes. Joshua stilled in Mason’s lap and Mason rubbed circles into his hips, guiding him- far gentler than he’d been known to be.

          Slowly Mason ghosted his lips over Joshua’s jaw. Joshua was more attentive now, nosing the air like a blind man, hands reaching out to try and gauge what Mason was up to. Slowly Mason ran his hands up Joshua’s torso and pushed his shoulders. Joshua awkwardly knelt on the floor of the car, a tight squeeze in between Mason’s legs. He kept his hands on Mason’s thighs and wetted his lips nervously.

          “Mason… what are you…”

          He heard the sound of scoffing. “What do you _think_ I’m- or rather _you’re_ doing?”

 

It was pitch blank. Joshua was only aware of everything else his other senses would supply with him with- the muted rustling of clothing, the smell of leather, the feeling of a hand at the nape of his neck pulling him forward, the complaint from his knees at the awkward position and, as expected; Mason, already hard, pressing at his lips. He opened his mouth, seemed little point in complaining now, and heard a muted sigh from above him. Apart from the hand at the back of his neck, the thumb of which was gently stroking up and down to encourage him, Joshua had no idea what Mason was doing. He could smell a different cologne than he remembered mixed with the warm sweet smell that was exclusively Mason. He pulled away only a moment, Mason’s hand remaining insistent at the back of his neck.

          “Won’t someone see this- us?”

          “Well _you_ can’t see anything.” Mason chuckled. “And you’re quite invisible to the outside world, anyway.”

          “And no one will think it strange a man is sitting along in a car that isn’t going anywhere?”

          Mason sighed. “I’m sure I’ll think of something if anyone asks- now, chop chop, no delaying.” He pushed Joshua’s head firmly with his hand in Joshua’s hair and Joshua obeyed, shutting his eyes- it made no difference but he could concentrate a little more clearly now- and ran his hands up Mason’s thighs.

          Mason groaned softly and his hand went from Joshua’s hair down his face to his shoulder, thumb tracing Joshua’s jaw. Joshua was far more aware of all of the noises his mouth was making, now that Mason was being so quiet and he didn’t have his eyes to distract him.

 

“Mr. Verger!” A voice called from outside. Joshua froze. The sound of a window being rolled down.

          “Miss Hawthorne, how may I be of assistance?”

          “I’m terribly sorry to bother you, I went to check Joshua Roberts- the boy from yesterday- was doing what you’d suggested, and the kind member of staff there told me he was with you.”

          Mason pushed Joshua’s head to get him moving again. Joshua’s face felt hot, and the tension was unbearable; how could she not see him- how was Mason hiding this? “Oh yes- he seemed very eager to do what was asked of him- he didn’t have the right tools for the job so I pointed him in the direction of the shed, told him to behave. I hope that’s alright- I’m sure that’s just where he is; I only sent him off a minute ago. He seemed ever so repentant.” Joshua lightly ran his teeth along the head of Mason’s cock for that one. He felt a shiver and Mason’s nails dig into the back of his neck and swallowed a wince, moving his head a little faster now as his confidence built. He was hard in his trousers, the idea of _Miss Hawthorn_ seeing him was hardly a turn on, but the risk of getting caught… well; he was a delinquent in the making.

          “Oh I see- thank you very much for being understanding, you really have no obligation to-”

          “No problem at all, I’m always happy to help- it’s such a waste to see the dark paths some children end up walking when with a little help they can be- _hmm_ \- put on the right track again.” Mason's voice wobbled- So _something_ was working- Joshua moved his tongue over the head again and rubbed circles into Mason’s thighs. He though he heard a small shuddered breath.

          “Quite right.” Miss Hawthorn sounded _delighted_. “Well- thank you again, Mr. Verger, I suppose I should go and monitor the rest of those under my care- not that I’m sure they’re up to anything but- well anyway, I’ll leave you to… whatever it is you’re doing.”

          Mason laughed, and was it just Joshua or did that sound strained? “I’m waiting for my valet to take me into town- this must look quite odd, but he had to take an impor- _tant_ _call_.” Joshua swallowed around Mason and Mason quickly re-gained his composure. “Have a good day, Miss Hawthorne.”

          “You too, Mr. Verger.” The sound of a practical but elegant shoe walking on gravel.

 

Mason didn’t have time to roll the window up, or wait for the footsteps of Joshua’s teacher to fade away before he came, with a small indignant noise and a jerk of his hips, as though he hadn’t been expecting it, holding Joshua’s mouth around him until he’d finished- Joshua promptly spat onto the floor.

          Mason tsked contentedly. “Why do you insist on making a mess- if you swallowed you’d save my staff a lot of work.”

          Joshua grimaced, “Yeah, no thanks.” He shuffled and Mason helped him sit up on the seat next to him- almost immediately Joshua was pressing small kisses along Mason’s jaw and neck, straddling his knee.

          “Ah ah ah.” Mason grinned as Joshua kissed the corner of his mouth, “needy little boy. You’ve been awfully rude to me these past few days- what makes you think I’m giving _you_ anything?”

          “You were rude to me first. Shouldn’t start something you can’t finish.” Joshua murmured, rutting his hips against Mason. He hadn’t had sex for a whole year and he was certainly feeling it.

          Mason gently- again with the _gently_ \- pushed Joshua away and stilled him with a look. “I’m not making you cum now, because I don’t want you to. It’s too fun to watch you squirm. Now, off you pop- go and skulk or whatever it is you teenagers do and I’m sure I’ll see you again _very_ soon.”

          So that was it then, back to normal? Joshua gingerly picked his way out of the car. He had to take a moment and do some mental long division on the walk back over to try and calm his head.

          He spent the rest of the day with vague frustration hitting him suddenly, and by the end of the afternoon he’d just ended up tucking his hard-on under his belt; too irritated to try and keep control of it. In fact, even as he tried to dwell on worrying about Alex he ended up thinking about _other things_ and with a final unsatisfied sigh he excused himself to the bathroom and locked the stall door. They _still_ hadn’t fixed the toilet seat.

 

He’d barely gotten his hand on his cock when he heard footsteps on the tile outside. No time to worry about it- they won’t try to break in- so Joshua slowly moved his wrist, waiting for the individual to piss and leave. But he didn’t.

          _Knock knock knock._  Joshua froze.

          “Occupied.” Upwards inflection betrayed how incredulously he was looking at the door-

          “Joshua.” A sing-song voice- of _course_ it was. “Open the door.”

          Joshua frowned, hitched his trousers up and peered out of the door. “Hey for all you know I could have been-”

          “Yes but you weren’t. I know you weren’t.” Mason pushed into the stall and locked the door behind them again, voice soft. “Go on, then.”

          Joshua folded his arms. “Mason-”

          Mason sighed and crowded him against the wall, hand sliding his underwear and gave him a pointed look. “So predictable. You just hang around in cubicle stalls getting hard, or do you actually _do_ something about it?” He spun Joshua around and his trousers fell back down to his ankles.

          Joshua spluttered, “Someone could _hear_ -” A firm yank on his hair-. “Fine, _fine_. Yes I was jacking off- what do you want from me, you didn’t exactly leave me satisfied.”

          “But,” Mason growled, “I didn’t say you were allowed to finish _yourself_ off. Did I?”

          Joshua growled back, “I didn’t know I needed your _permission_ to orgasm.”

          Mason’s mood switched and he hummed, leaning away from pressing against Joshua to undo his own trousers and press against him again. “Well now you know…”

          “Mason, _wait_.” Joshua said firmly, and he could hear he was treading on thin ice. “Just- I haven’t done this for a while- could you prep me? _Please_?”

          Mason sighed. But, Joshua had caught him in a good mood. “I _suppose_.” It wasn’t any fun to fuck someone when they were dry anyway- _too much friction a good fuck does not make._ He pressed his fingers against Joshua’s mouth and he gently accepted them there, doing his best to get them wet. When Mason pulled away Joshua grumbled,

          “Why don’t you just keep lube on you like a normal person?” His grumbling stopped with a finger inside him, though.

          “What was that?” Mason asked pleasantly as Joshua pushed his hips back, colour coming to his cheeks.

          “Um- nothing, never mind.”

          “Mhm, that’s what I thought.” Mason chuckled and pressed another finger inside him, curling them until he heard a small whimper, and then another. “Prepped enough?” he cooed.

          “Yeah.” Joshua’s voice was breathy, he was warming up and when Mason pushed into him- thankfully slowly- he moaned lowly and pushed back, a familiarly delicious feeling rushing his system.

          Mason pressed his lips against Joshua’s ear- biting and kissing the skin behind it, groaning softly and flexing his hips, starting to move a little faster, impatience building as he reached around Joshua and twisted his wrist in time to his thrusts.

          Joshua was grateful Mason was bothering to think about him this time, and braced his arms on the wall above him, trying not to make too much noise. Still, it was all too obvious what was going on in the stall, should anyone come in.

          “Mason.” Joshua whined softly, already more than halfway there.

          “Oh no you don’t.” Mason moved his hand and Joshua whimpered, Mason shushed him with his mouth on Joshua’s neck. “Ah ah ah- I’ve got _plans_.” He felt the shiver go down Joshua’s spine and grinned. He put a hand in Joshua’s hair, to keep him still, and removed his always faithful and ever present Papa’s knife and ran it up Joshua’s chest, delighting in slicing off all of his buttons.

          “I liked that shirt.” Joshua whined and Mason growled.

          “I’ll buy you a new one.” He pulled back far enough to pull the shirt off Joshua and have access to his back. Joshua tensed.

          “What are you planning?”

          “Hold still or I’ll mess my work- try not to wiggle.” Mason sniggered and let the blade rest gently against Joshua’s shoulder blade. He harshly thrust his hips a few times and sucked a hickey onto Joshua’s neck until he was on the brink- Joshua whining softly, the anticipation and fear edging him on and Mason dug the first line of red through Joshua’s skin, slowly, and Joshua trembled and bit down on his yelp, and Mason came with a small grunt and a chuckle at the back of his throat.

          “What are you doing?” Joshua panted, whining softly and Mason prodded his arms above his head.

          Mason grinned and thrust his hips again, pressing sloppy kisses over him. “A tally mark. Thought I should keep track.” He stuck his tongue out as he concentrated on the second line. Joshua whimpered.

          “I’d give you a hand,” Mason said softly, “but both of mine are full.”

          Joshua got the message and pressed his face against the wall as one of his hands disappeared and he whined softly. Every time Mason drew a fresh hot line across his shoulder he whimpered and cried out until Mason produced a tie- the same one from earlier- and crammed it in his mouth. Joshua groaned softly.

 

Mason was on the twelfth line when the door sounded. Joshua’s eyes widened. Mason paused, and waited for the sound of trousers being unzipped to resume. It was eerily quiet and Joshua fought to stay silent, feet shuffling despite his best efforts. Line fourteen- _why hasn’t this person left what are they- oh God_. Someone else came in and at least now there were two pairs of scuffing shoes to hide the quiet squeak and whimper and the sound of his body slumping as Joshua came. No one seemed to have heard- and the shoes disappeared. Mason didn’t stop and Joshua started whimpering continuously until he was finished. Mason kissed the wounds, and ran his finger along them, kissing Joshua’s neck with red lips, and turning him round.

          “There you go, all done.” He glanced down. “Mmm you made a terrible mess, didn’t you? As always.” He sighed and took the tie from Joshua’s mouth and shoved it in his pocket as Joshua nosed forward and met Mason’s lips, his hand clutching Mason’s wrist. Mason chuckled and savored the moment, finally pushing him away and pulling a bandage from his pocket.

          “Let’s have a look at that shoulder, hmm?” Joshua nodded meekly and turned, letting Mason clean him with loosely wrapped toilet roll and wrap him. There was a pleasant silence and they weren’t interrupted again.

         

Mason sent Joshua on his way with a pat on his ass and a quick look around as he left. Joshua tottered back to his bunker and lay on his front- sleepy happiness washing over him- it was free time until dinner anyway. He was surprised to see the door open and _ALEX_

          Joshua was up and rushing at him before he knew what he was doing- inspecting him before Alex threw himself at him and a tight squeeze of an embrace followed. Joshua winced when Alex clutched at his shoulder and they awkwardly went to sit down on Alex’s bed together.

          “Alex! I didn’t expect you back! Are you ok?”

          “I’m fine,” Alex grinned, “it was just a fracture” he tapped the plaster on his foot to prove it.

          “Good... I’m really glad you’re ok.” Joshua grinned and shyly lowered his eyes.

          “Are _you_ ok? I heard you went a bit… nuts.” Alex said and looked worried when Joshua tensed.

          “Yeah. Um, I just was worried and I’m a bit stressed at the moment…” Joshua cleared his throat.

          “I… see.” Alex’s hand tentatively made its way to clasp Joshua’s and Joshua wanted suddenly to wash. He leant against Alex’s shoulder.

          “What happened? Your accident?” Joshua muttered.

          “I climbed up the shelves in the storage shed- I was trying to reach… something or other, and then all of a sudden the shelf- wasn’t there and I fell and it hurt and I was screaming…”

          Joshua nodded, traitorous feeling creeping up his throat. “God that sounds scary… I’m really glad you’re ok.” He moved away from Alex and stood- planning on a shower and maybe a drink to wash his own betrayal away.

“Joshua” Alex stood, awkwardly twiddling his thumbs, fresh cut on his face sending another spike of guilt through his system. “I’m really worried about you- I mean I know you’re kinda quiet- and I hardly know you, the _real_ you- but ever since you came to camp you’ve been… off…” he chewed his lip, “and- and I know I sound a bit crazy but…” He sighed and Joshua took a few steps towards him.

          “What?”

          “Well- maybe it’s nothing- I dunno- but I thought the staff were looking at _me_ weirdly. And then I saw how they were looking at _you_.” He kept his gaze firm as Joshua fidgeted slightly.

          “Yeah, about that…” But Alex didn’t cut him off. Joshua swallowed. “I wouldn’t worry about it- there are always a few dodgy care-workers right? And I haven’t exactly been a goody-goody two shoes while I’ve been here…” He chuckled awkwardly. Alex folded his arms.   

          “Ok. You don’t want to tell me- fine. But it’s weird, Joshua, and I don’t like it- and whatever _this_ is... I want it to be about _trust_.”

          “See, now you’re starting to sound like my girlfriend.”

          Alex opened his mouth to respond and like a wave the silence was broken as a flood of boys ran into the bunker to get ready for tea. Alex’s mouth was a firm line and he sat looking sulky all through dinner. Joshua purposely avoided being near him and went to bed early- lying on his left side to keep his bad shoulder untouched.

          He sighed. _It’s not good_. _Nothing is good._ He bunched the pillow under his head and closed his eyes. Alex, Mason, family, _me_.

 _Everything is as it should be_.

         

Mason hummed, looking at his sister pinned under him on the couch, grimace stuck to her face.

          “Mason you _ass-_ let me go _right now_.”

          Mason reached up and pulled the tie loose from his collar.

 _Everything is as it should be_.


End file.
